Should I still do it?
A family friend, former neighbor, and I finally had sex. I've known her for 9 years when she became friends with my parents when I was in highschool. She's been a good friend of the family and mine for awhile and she's one of my parents' best friends.
It wasn't some sudden or passionate retarded thing. We made a conscious decision over the course of some time as adults to do what we did and we liked it.
We're not going to tell my parents, obviously, but should we stop well we're ahead to minimize the chances they find out? I don't think they'd react positively to what we did, and I don't want my parents to lose one of their best friends or her to lose my parents and other family friends she's met through them to shame. She has no kids, she's never been married, and she has no family in our area. We're not trying to start a "relationship" or something. We both understand she's 19 years older than me and I'm young.
I don't know if it's possible to just stop now until one of us is in a real relationship. We hang out without my parents a lot. We've been drinking buddies since I turned 21 and I'm her go to when she has problems with her car or home now that my parents spend a lot of time away from where we live, but I guess we might want to at least try. She doesn't mind to stop or keep going, and right now we both don't want to stop.
I'm pretty conflicted. I thought once we did it something would change, it would be weird, or we'd feel like we got it out of our system, but there's been no negatives. All the shame I feel from the fear of what would happen if anyone found out.

>pic is obviously not her just a stock photo lady I found that kind of resembles her

>>33237370 (OP)
Go for it bro, get that sugar mama.

>>33237370 (OP)
Macron and his wife have a 24 year age gap. Anything is possible

>>33237370 (OP)
>fucking someone that was friends with your parents
unless you're a girl why would you do that, revolting.

>>33240330
>only girls can have socially taboo sex
shut up cuck

>>33240090
>get that sugar mama.
I mean she already paid for a lot of shit. Every month we went out drinking, she tried to give me ridiculous amounts of money for simple shit ($80 for installing some towel racks and $40 for driving her to the airport that's only 10 minutes away are the most notable ones) that I always declined, and just when we went to stuff. She always tells me how she's been making so much money for 15 years without ever being married or having kids and that she'll get everything, but I'm not going to start taking more or asking for anything extra because we're fucking. The $35 bar tab a month already felt bad enough, and I always try to get the tip.
>>33240316
Yeah, we're not interested in that. She knows one day I want to have kids and a life like that in the future. She's had bad luck in the dating game for 2 decades and I'm finally at a job that pays something liveable and I'm focusing so much on that I don't have time to meet girls and play the game. That's the whole reason we're doing what we're doing.
>>33240330
I'm confused as to why that would be better or more likely for a girl to do?
Either way, I'm only doing it because the opportunity was right there. I haven't had a girlfriend since highschool and she hasn't been a relationship since she was my age. We find each other attractive and know and trust each other well. It makes perfect sense to us.

>>33241091
older men/younger girls >>>>>>>> older hags falling into dust/young men
but that's just my opinion (the right one)

>>33241979
Sure you're gonna get your 18yo trad gf any day now, bro
Seriously, if they're just fuckin who gives a shit?

It will be fun for a while but will inevitably not work out. If you aren't planning on moving or something to avoid thr fallout, you'll see how it goes. Your parents are gonna find out one way or another. Return and update us here in a few months when they end up kicking you out or cutting contact with her or whatever.

Fwb never works long. Someone will want something the other doesn't want to give. Just a matter of time. When you get bored you'll have to estrange yourself, and if she ends up getting mad at you for some reason she'll tell your mom or some shit. There will be fallout if it continues, that's all. I mean read what you just wrote anon. You're putting a higher trust in this woman than your parents... and expect to keep it from them too? While you both "hang out" with them? This is not gonna work lmao.

>>33237370 (OP)
if you both feel the relationship is right, it is. make her your gf and enjoy your time together. age gaps aren't that big of a concern nowadays.

I mean go for it
If it was the other way around there'd be mass hysteria, tears and blood, of course. But luckily you're the younger one.

>>33242755
>when they end up kicking you out
I just bought a condo, and I don't think they'd do that even if I was back home.
>cutting contact with her or whatever.
That's what I'm worried about.
>Someone will want something the other doesn't want to give. Just a matter of time.
I still don't see this happening, but it is possible. I'm literally the only not just a one night stand fling she's had in what sounds like over 10 years, and even the other ones never became a relationship. I've also been physically starved since I was 18. I guess one of us could eventually lose all the rationale we have around this and things could go bad.
>When you get bored you'll have to estrange yourself
I really don't want that to happen. She is my friend. She's been there through so much and I'm happy with her company. But I guess if I finally find a girl my age to try and actually be with, could I really still hang out with her if we had this long fling, or could I ever introduce her to her? Probably not, and that'd make me sad.
>if she ends up getting mad at you for some reason she'll tell your mom or some shit.
I really don't see that happening because it would only hurt herself. I know people get crazy when sex or money is involved, but I guess we'd just need to stop now to ensure it never comes to that.
>While you both "hang out" with them? This is not gonna work lmao.
We still haven't done anything with my parents because they've been away and will be for another 2 months. They spend the summers in Virginia near my nephews when they're out of school. now that my mom's retired and my dad works from home so he can be anywhere to work. I don't what it's going to be like in August when we inevitably all go out to the craft brewery or Irish pub together again. She's always been weirdly physically affectionate with me. Hugs, sitting next to only me, swiping my hair when it gets in my face, and leaning on me like a mantel, but nothing that screams "THESE TWO ARE FUCKING."

>>33242776
>make her your gf and enjoy your time together.
We both don't want that and have said it. We're both still open to trying to find more appropriate partners. Right now it's physical and nothing more. We love each other, but not like that. She's like an aunt or (really) older sister, which feels gross to say considering what we're doing, but it's how I would've described her just a month ago and it still seems right. She's been someone I can talk to and just be normal around because she wasn't some girl my age I was trying to impress. I mean, I thought about it a couple times for years, but I never thought it would actually happen. Now that it has I still don't feel any different, like I don't feel romantically attached to her in the way I would with a girl I was dating. She's still just my old lady friend, which I still call her to piss her off.

>>33241091
That sounds pretty amazing. I'd ask her for a vacation. Just pretend you go with friends or something.

>>33242844
If I had the time for a vacation I'd have the time to look for a another girl in her 20s and not be fucking my 45yo friend. Besides, I don't want her spending money on me like that. I'd feel awful making her pay for anything over $50.
We'd also never be able to hide it.
>Oh, anon's going on a trip with his friends and she's going on some trip at the same time
>and they both need us to drop them off at the airport at the same time
>Huh, what a co-winky-dink that is!

>>33242776
>age gaps aren't that big of a concern nowadays.
It will be in 15 years when you're at risk of breaking her pelvis in the sheets.

>>33242803
Yeah dude I said the same shit. "This" or "that" could "never" happen. I lost my years long best friend because we started hooking up. I wanted more and she wanted less, and the resentment and unpreparedness for the situation destroyed what we had. But everyone has their own situations.

If she's been touchy on you all this time, she's definitely wanted you for a long time, if unconciously. You may both be saying it's nothing now, but sex does things to people. It's like a drug, and maybe if she's older it could be different. Maybe she can detach easier but she's still a woman, and whenever you DO decide to move to another girl, she will, if unconciously, resent you for it. The consequences of that resentment could be explosive. Just depends on your situation. It doesn't sound like she WON'T get attached if it's been ten fucking years of nothing lol.

But I stand by what I said. One way or another, 10 days from now, 10 years from now, your parents WILL find out. Women gossip about this shit, and even if she doesn't say it outright we're all social creatures. We can tell when two people are fucking based on their behavior.

You're both adults. Have a very clear mutual agreement and understanding to not get into a relationship because it will NOT work. Seriously, it will not.
Enjoy the sex and company while it lasts and worry less about it, don't take it too seriously, but it's crucial that you both are on the same page about this.
There's no need to tell your parents indeed. It's not complicated, no need to be conflicted bro. Just do it and keep on enjoying your life.

Stop fucking larping

game is game

>>33244309
>If she's been touchy on you all this time, she's definitely wanted you for a long time, if unconciously.
I don't know about that. I've always just taken it as how she is. It's not like she got more touchy over time, she's always been that way since I've known her. I guess it kind of makes me uncomfortable if she's wanted to fuck since I really got to know her when I was 18 since I looked the same from age 14 to 20. I mean I thought about it, but I was a teenager with easy access to milf porn.
>whenever you DO decide to move to another girl, she will, if unconciously, resent you for it.
I don't want that, and, I'll be honest, I don't want to resent her if she's finally lucky enough to find happiness with a man her age. I always thought she'd be like one of the "aunts" I had as a kid that were carried over family friends from my parents' parents whenever I had kids. That can't happen if she's even mildly resentful of myself or the woman I have children with.
>One way or another, 10 days from now, 10 years from now, your parents WILL find out. Women gossip about this shit
This is what makes me want to stop. The one time we hooked up and the time we got a bit hot and heavy could be explained away as rumors or just hearsay. At worst, possibly apologized away, but a longer term physical relationship would be doom. It doesn't help I think she already told her one friend that's not connected to my family what we did. She tells her everything. I haven't told a soul, not even my friends from highschool that my parents haven't seen since graduation and live across the country now. It's the whole reason I made this thread because I don't know who to talk to about this because I don't want anyone knowing.

Op, it doesn't matter at all. If you like each other, great, do what you want. If you want to have a serious relationship odds are she's a dead end for your family line at her age. But maybe not...

I'm in a relationship with an older woman who I would love to have children with, but I told her outright that there is no long term relationship without children, so if she can't get pregnant in a certain timeframe, I move on. This is tough on her, but she agreed to it from the beginning. We're 2 years in, and 2 miscarriages in.

>>33245729
Well anon you seem to have a decent understanding of the choice you have. Keep the short term fun and suffer the long term consequences or try to pull out while you still can. You said you only had one girlfriend in high school? You don't understand how boundaries can't be uncrossed yet. I kind of can't believe you just wrote that shit, like you can have both a family friend AND a fuck buddy forever now, lol. This trusting bond you claim and sex-- something that YOU feel you can put aside when it's convenient for you, and that she will just be ok with it... She says that now, but I am telling you, it's never that simple, and you are fucking your future self in the ass if you have your fun AND keep her around in any capacity.

Put aside what she thinks or feels now. However plainly you think it is. She is not a man and does NOT see it how you do. Despite what she says. You can't "go back." Not without some seriously fucked up situations. Like, can you fucking imagine imagine how awkward it will be for you to introduce this woman to your future kids? Your wife? What are you thinking dude? Even IF you never tell anyone, and she never tells anyone, YOU will know. And you will have to deal with either YOUR guilt or shame in keeping her around your family then, or, a questioning wife who wants to know why "Auntie Karen" keeps saying these weird little things about you?. Until that explodes into something you have to explain away as a "fling," and probably break the trust of your wife. That temptation will always be there too. That history. Unless, like I said before, you move states or something and find a way to totally disconnect from the situation, there will be some consequence. I promise you. Choose whatever you want, but for God's sake, do NOT assume you can have both.

>>33245754
I'm sorry to hear that. That's obviously one of the big reasons I'd never entertain anything more. She also didn't want kids so it's not like that would ever be a thing we'd do anyway.
At least your story reinforces why I'd never let this go further.

>>33246000
>Keep the short term fun and suffer the long term consequences or try to pull out while you still can.
It is already over? This whole thread just has me dreading that we've already made a terrible mistake. No matter how much I thought we thought this all through I'm feeling out of it. It doesn't feel like anything has changed, but now I'm concerned. I'm really starting to think we maybe weren't both prepared for this.

>>33242725
I don't want a trad gf tho, i date hot girls open to date older guys and they are always going through a phase, I'm one dick in the dick carrousel

>>33247207
It's up to you man. It's possible she keeps it to herself. It's possible she means that it isn't anything serious, and that she won't harbor feelings. If she's older it's certainly possible for her to just fuck and not care. I can't say, I've never been with older women but I know they don't care about sex as much. And she probably won't explode on you like a young woman might. She could be cool, and any later emotional response might not even be likely. It IS just speculation in this thread, after all. I don't know the woman, you do.

But you complicated it getting "family" involved in something you want to push under the rug. If it was some random girl you could keep from them, that's one thing, but keeping it so close to home is going to change SOMETHING. And expecting her to play any future role in your potential future relationships, that just can't happen. It's like keeping an ex around, and it's gonna be weird.

Go ahead and get any idea of her "aunting" your future children out of your head. That should not happen, assuming you ever get a wife and kids. But right now you don't have children. You don't have a girlfriend. You aren't doing anything "now" that you're going to see consequence for, except however your parents take it, when they find out. It's only gonna take one night with her and your mom at a bar and some emotional damage for her to rat. So expect that at some point, unless you can just keep her away from your parents forever.

I mean it's also possible you both hide it til you die. I just don't see things not getting weird at SOME point even if you do. Something is gonna have to give. But that's usually not the best course of action. You'll just be sweating it the rest of your life. Your best course of action is to talk it out with her and say how you feel. Try to rip the band aid early if it's gonna come off anyways. Of course this could hurt her and make her tell mom right away lol

>>33242884
You don't have time? That's kinda shit. I have a lot of time.

>>33248532
I have to save my 2 weeks vacation and 7 days PTO for visiting family. I'm somehow the only adult that actually worries about getting sick, so I hold onto my 5 personal days for that exact reason. Maybe if there's a holiday, but I want to actually use that to hang out with my friends.

>>33237370 (OP)
>right now we both don't want to stop.
Keep going. Women can change really fast so pound her for all you can.

The gravy train doesn't last forever.