When I was 13, I went to this shitty ghetto hood rat school in South Florida. It was like a prison for children. Since I was not black, I never really fit in and would get targeted at times. Luckily I was not white either, and my skin color didn't attract as much attention as a white kids would have. All of that to say, I was angry alot of the time. This anger is something I subconsciously channeled into working out(mostly calisthenics at the time). This is also when I started reading lots of martial arts mangas like Shamo and Sun-Ken Rock. But now that i am an adult and no longer in those circumstances, I find that I have lost the edge. That edge made me more disciplined and focused than I am now. How do I get it back without going to prison? I need that edge for the calisthenics, kickboxing, and weightlifting routine I have in my mind. Only that version of me could possibly maintain this routine I am imagining.

>>33238374 (OP)
I won't read your shitty autobiography, whether fictitious or real, on an advice board.

>>33238409
That's fine, you can't read anyways.

>>33238374 (OP)
Grow up and mature

>>33238374 (OP)
you are still that version of you, just dormant
force yourself to get back in the gym and see how you feel. it'll most likely all come rushing back to you

>>33238546
Agreed OP. You simply wanting to get back into calisthenics and working out is proof of that. You can only get your edge back in the gym.

>>33238374 (OP)
Maybe try getting rejected by a few women or laughed at by a few Chads. Unapologetically obsess over becoming superior to them in ways looks can’t match. There are plenty of bullies out there, so if you need negativity to propel you, you’re on the right planet.