Anonymous
6/19/2025, 12:26:11 AM No.33240628
I have an irrational fear that I am a moment away from being fired at work, and a series of catastrophic events to follow.
>losing my home
>losing insurance and getting sick
>starving to death in the street
Rationally i have no reason to think this beyond any other normal person. Maybe even less so because I have a highly unique and valuable skillset, and firing me would cause them a massive blow to potential revenue. But the company has overcommitted me to the point where I can't catch up even after pulling 50+ hour weeks for the past 4 months now. I'm having trouble sleeping because I'm worried about work, but am physically and mentally exhausting myself to get things done, and it's really putting a strain on my personal life.
I went to a social worker the other day for my specialist clinic (I'm legally disabled and see a battery of doctors and specialists every few months). Compared to last year, my depression and anxiety scores shot through the roof.
I look at the job market and have almost no hope because the positions I would seek are demanding far more experience than I actually have despite doing the exact same requirements.
All I think about and have is work, and my girlfriend has called that out because so many of my conversations as of late have been relating a topic to something about work.
I'm working myself into an early, unremarkable grave, and while I wouldn't kill myself, the thought of being dead has been quite relieving as of late.
What do I even do besides persist?
>losing my home
>losing insurance and getting sick
>starving to death in the street
Rationally i have no reason to think this beyond any other normal person. Maybe even less so because I have a highly unique and valuable skillset, and firing me would cause them a massive blow to potential revenue. But the company has overcommitted me to the point where I can't catch up even after pulling 50+ hour weeks for the past 4 months now. I'm having trouble sleeping because I'm worried about work, but am physically and mentally exhausting myself to get things done, and it's really putting a strain on my personal life.
I went to a social worker the other day for my specialist clinic (I'm legally disabled and see a battery of doctors and specialists every few months). Compared to last year, my depression and anxiety scores shot through the roof.
I look at the job market and have almost no hope because the positions I would seek are demanding far more experience than I actually have despite doing the exact same requirements.
All I think about and have is work, and my girlfriend has called that out because so many of my conversations as of late have been relating a topic to something about work.
I'm working myself into an early, unremarkable grave, and while I wouldn't kill myself, the thought of being dead has been quite relieving as of late.
What do I even do besides persist?
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