I (20) never managed to make friends or grow up like everyone else did nor can I handle social interaction or most 'adult' things. I can (barely) hold down a job and drive, but make me go out for fun, casually talk to people, or try to have a boyfriend and I think I'd shut down. Being unable to fully grow up, befriend others and the bullying that came with it brought me so much pain so I resigned to keeping in my own little bubble and not caring about how stunted I am. Yet, even though I know that I cannot act 'normal' and all of my attempts have ended in embarrassment, I still sometimes long for that life. I feel sick imagining myself going out, dressing up, getting into relationships, laughing with others like I'm in on the joke and acting like I'm not a pathetic retard who should stay in their lane especially when I never managed to fit in naturally like everyone else did either. It's not right and when I come down from this high I'm back to being like a helpless child. I've grown resentful towards most people now and don't want anything to do with them or that kind of life. Is it my brain showing me some kind of repressed desires that I can't have or just telling me what it thinks I should be doing at my age? How can I get rid of these thoughts?

>>33240801 (OP)
You aren't alone. You really shouldn't cope with drugs, though:you will sober up and the problem will remain or even be worse than before.

A song for everyone like you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObR5OuY2d94

>>33240832
Thank you, but I've never used any drugs nor do I drink.

>>33240801 (OP)
It's feeling a need to isolate from all the things that cause you stress and grief versus an inherent need for social activity. If you shut yourself off from social interactions completely, that part of you will rot and atrophy. The want for interaction won't go away, you'll just be actually unable to form any connections with anyone. People suck, and a lot of them will probably not think twice about the hurt they cause. You don't necessarily have to dress up and do things you don't like, but find a hobby or do things that you like and meet people that way. If you give up now, you'll end up isolating yourself to the point where you feel invisible to everybody, which is worse than where you're at now.

>>33240801 (OP)
Be a sigma.

>>33241120
No,I'm too alpha for that

>>33240801 (OP)
It's ok to feel retarded bro , I'm retarded too

>>33241193
>No,I'm too alpha for that
Clearly you're not an alpha, because the alpha is the leader of the gang. Since you're solitary, you can be either a gamma (by default) or a sigma (a superman).

>>33240880
Thank you, but I think I've already reached that point honestly. I completely freeze in social situations outside of mandatory work courtesies and I don't know what to say or have anything to say. I tried to meet people through hobbies in my late teens but I was so resentful of others for being able to fit in and converse normally despite liking the same nerdy stuff I gave up. It's been near impossible for me to talk to most people since I was a tween without feeling like I am below them for my failure to be normal/socialise and that they are looking down on me in the same vein they do an incapable retard who's not all there.
>>33241279
Wasn't me.

>>33240801 (OP)

>>33243624

>>33241120
>>33241279
useless astrology bullshit

>>33240801 (OP)
Maybe it's the porn you fap to

>>33240801 (OP)
You're like me except I'm 21 and I'll never have a chance at love because I'm a male.
You probably just need anxiety meds. I don't use them, but I've been trying to get on adhd medication because I think it'll achieve the same effect, but if not I'll at least improve as a human being since I'll actually be able to focus on my passions. I'll never find a friend, or a gf to cuddle with though~ such is life!

>>33240801 (OP)
Do femfailures empathise with boy losers, or do you think you have it worse than the opposite sex like how male virgins do?

>>33242802
>I tried to meet people through hobbies in my late teens but I was so resentful of others for being able to fit in and converse normally despite liking the same nerdy stuff I gave up
I'm like this, except I felt like everyone who liked the stuff I liked was a poser. Niche video games and anime that nobody had heard of back then, are popular with hs students now. I'm kind of envious of the new generation of kids who get to talk about their niche interests, but I know deep down I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about my interests, even if I was still in high school. I'm too nervous. I get the same way, where I lose all of my wit and my ability to hold conversation when someone speaks to me. If someone comes up to talk to me, it's not until hours later that I think of a good response, when my brain isn't so stressed.
I'd be your buddy if you lived near me. I can tell we probably have the same interests. Life's really depressing; no one at home respects me, and I get treated like a slave at my minimum wage job. It'd be nice to connect with someone like me, who's in my age bracket

>>33244944
I feel dirty when I look at porn so I don’t even look at it much. But yeah I won’t deny most of the stuff I’m into is really autistic and the majority of ‘people’ I’ve fallen for have been cartoons.
>>33245016
I’m sorry. It’s unfair but good luck focusing on what you love. I’ve never been medicated so I’m a bit hesitant especially when I can function fine (relatively speaking) outside of my social difficulties, but I’ve been thinking the same. If I can’t have any sort of social life then I’ll try and pursue a creative hobby. Only problem is when I feel down about my social problems that feeling spreads and I start resenting everything.
>>33245598
No, I think men/incels do have it worse. I’m not attractive but there’s the knowledge that I’ll always be able to have a sex/relationship on account of simply being female or viewed as a quirky girlfailure instead of a creepy loser as a man would. I just have no desire for a boyfriend anymore. I can’t imagine myself in a dedicated relationship and it’d be a hassle regardless.

>>33245630
>I can’t imagine myself in a dedicated relationship
If I was a girl i'd set up shop in some dude's place right away. But as a guy, I'm insecure as hell about not having my own place. Even if I had the machismo to talk to women, where would I go to hang out with them? Their own place?
teen lovers have it easy because they're expected to live with their parents, and it prob feels angsty and hot to have sex with each other at your parents house. when you're an adult its just pathetic

>i can't
>i'm not
>etc
your limits are self imposed and frankly offensive to homo sapiens
you're part of the greatest species ever known, act like it
shut up, set achievable goals and touch grass

>>33245627
I can relate, especially with not thinking of a response until later, but I went the other way. When anime and other niche things started to get popular, I started straying away from them. I loved anime when I was younger but when it exploded around COVID era I felt like I couldn’t like it anymore. If it was something that even the popular students in my year and the people who previously bullied me liked, then I don’t think it was meant for me who was below them. It’s a shame.
Sorry about your situation but I can’t say anything meaningful because I’m in the same place. Where are you from? I’ve contacted people from this site on other platforms but I’m both too used to being alone and unable to accept having friends that I stopped replying after a short while. I felt terrible and they were nothing but kind but acting like I deserve relationships feels so wrong so I don’t think I could talk to anyone yet. Honestly my social retardation has gone unchecked for so long I don’t think there’s any reversing it. It’s not right to force someone into talking to me under the pretense that we’re both lonely and give them false hope only for me to flip out and vanish a week later.
>>33245650
>If I was a girl i'd set up shop in some dude's place right away
Ah I couldn’t, I’d feel bad leeching off of another person. Among zoomers it seems like a lot of people meet at house parties now. A man approaching a woman among shared friends is probably considered less creepy nowadays than cold approaching in public.
>>33245726
Easier said than done

>>33240801 (OP)
Unironically get a job as a bartender (or a server - something that forces you into social situations with little time to think or feel anxious). Problem solved within a month.

You are literally describing what I used to be like, to a tee. Bartending saved my life. I genuinely experience maybe 15% of the social anxiety I used to experience on a daily basis. Look into it.

>>33248594
I don’t know if that’ll work. I worked part-time at a cafe in my last year of school but it didn’t go so well. I could put on a sociable facade for the customers but when it came to my coworkers I froze up. I’m not even sure why, but because I didn’t talk much to them I soon was delegated mostly to dishwashing and then quit. My job right now is rocky but my parents are happy with it and I doubt they’d be okay with me quitting to do something I wasn’t good at the first time.

>>33248590
I'm in MA. I'm pretty much the same way. I've met one person off this site, and although we talked a lot, eventually I was ghosted. Although I wasn't removed, so I could've messaged back, but I decided against it
I'd only be down to befriend someone from this site again if they were in close proximity of me. I want to meet someone irl. Internet doesnt mean shit tbdesu

>>33250192
MA as in Massachusetts? If so unfortunately I’m from across the pond. But I do agree in that it’s better to befriend people in real life. I think it’s hard to get a good feel of someone until we’d interacted face-to-face.