hello first post on 4chan i dont really know how to use this but whatever

i think i’ve hit rock bottom. i dont know how to help myself anymore. basically i know this is super embarrassing but the reason i haven’t really killed myself is because of fucking brawl stars. uh yea and today my dumbass deleted my account i spent years on. im genuinely fucking stupid i domt know why i did it??? like idk i havw no idea i just want to like sabotage myself i think?? basically for the past few months my mental health has been deteriorating due to family issues and other things and unhealthy coping mechanisms..? but like i tend to self sabotage myself. i domt really like helping myswlf for some reason i don’t know. like things were getting better with my parents and my dumbass deleted my brawl stars account because i do not want to get better but i do want to get better i jist don’t want to accept it. like i told myself im deleting the acc to havw an actual valid reason to cut myself and it’s just stupid like i know i sound retarded or whatever but brotosynthesis i do not understand myswlf at all why do i keep doing this to myself this is genuinely my last straw idk what to do any advice on how to like fucking stop this shitty habit i have
like im just rubbing salt in my own wounds
i hate the feeling of guilt so bad but i surround myself in it
i dont seem to want to get better but i don’t know why
how do i stop this self sabotaging behaviour or whatever you call it
like after sabotaging i jist plunge into deep regret and i start blaming myself and hating myself for my own actions i had full control of why am i like this why do i want to make myself suffer more? why am i making things worse for myself? what do i do?

i hope my words are cohenerrnt enough sorry thank you for reading

I main bull get fucked edgarmain

why do we get all the newfags? why you don't you go to one of the boards you've probably heard about on tiktok (like r9k)

jokes aside you sound like you have OCD

>i dont seem to want to get better
yeah you clearly do, or else you wouldn't be here
you just don't think you deserve it - that's why you keep sabotaging yourself

>>33243738 (OP)
I wanna tell you to move on or whatever the fuck, but nah. I've been in your place before. I was never able to get over it.

I intentionally got my Town of Salem account permabanned in 2019. For no reason; I basically subconsciously just sabotaged myself, just like you did. I was a daily player since 2014, and I had so many friends on there and a bunch of rare (and now unobtainable) 2014/2015 skins.

I thought I'd stop giving a fuck after a while, but I never fully did. Two years later, I'd still feel a pit in my stomach every time i'd think of my account. The skins and icons on there that i'd never ever get back. The friends I made who I'd probably never be able to contact again. I tried making a new account. It just wasn't the same. I couldn't stomach playing the game without all of the shit i had.

So the only solution was to just move on and do something else with my life. Find another game to play. I got over the game within a few months, but i never really got over my old account and the memories i made on there. Whenever I'd get reminded of ToS, it'd still hurt to think about.

Eventually in 2022, a friend gave me his old account which had almost everything that i had unlocked. Which was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I try my absolute best to keep the account safe now.

So you can do one of two things, or both, your choice and YMMV:
>move on from brawl stars and do something else with your life (and you 100% will eventually learn to mostly move on, just like i did)
>buy another account

I don't think you'll be happy making a new account unless all of the stuff you had is still obtainable. So move on Brawl Stars entirely or buy a new account.

Best wishes

>>33244332
also i hate you faggots for not even dropping shitpost replies on new threads. OP probably closed this tab and forgot about it.