I'm such a fucking faggot people pleaser and I can't stand it. I'm so averse to confrontation and shatter like glass if I think someone is mad at me

Okay maybe not that bad but I do have a hard time tolerating especially my gf being mad at me which is really hard because I know thats just gonna make the relationship worse, I need to have a spine and stand up for the things I want regardless of how arbitrary I think they are but I have such a savage mindset of guilt and everything is my fault because my dad was aggressive and violent and my mom was really soft and routinely reminded us what an awful person our dad was and to be nothing like him

But now if my gf gets in a mood it just ruins my day and every fiber of my being feels like I have to "make it right" by doing whatever she wants and I just can't fucking stand being around someone who is obviously mad and I just want to learn how to not give a shit and how to not derive my happiness from how much someone else is happy with me

Please fucking help me I can't get married like this, I NEED to become 100% okay with people disliking me no matter what I do

>>33244131 (OP)
you will never be okay with someone you care about disliking you. that's why your SO has to basically be a spec of dust to you, because you can't ever rely on them unless you're some kind of disgusting subhuman

>>33244131 (OP)
Just learn to say..

>>33244131 (OP)
If there is a valid reason for her to be mad, then it's normal that you feel bad about it. If she's just being a cunt, then you shouldn't be mad that she's mad.
Lots of people have problems saying no, it's a thing you have to learn, but the abilty to compromise is jus as important.

>>33244311
the only valid reason to ever feel bad about anything is actually physically cheating on someone who physically hurting them, ig severe verbal abuse too, literally anything else is not something to feel bad for the other person should suck it up and quit trying to guilt trip people into acting how they want

the whole "my feelings are hurt" thing is classic manipulation