When we dated and got married it wasn't so bad at all, but overtime my mom and his mom and remembering how my father raised me have drilled in the idea that as his (biological) wife, I am his property. My life's purpose is to serve him. My body should be whatever he likes, my job is to keep his house clean and functional and appealing to him, to tend our children and never ever let anyone help. If they help me I'm a failure who can't hack it. Thats what all these older women tell me, thats how its SUPPOSED to be. Isn't it? I'll never be as important as him, as intelligent as him, I'll always think like a woman and need him overseeing me and my decisions.
So why does my own husband hate it? He says it's disgusting I see myself as an object, he doesnt understand the change, he hates that I'm "belittling" myself. But I've seen how efficient and smart he is compared to me, why should i be under his direction forever? Why else are most successful families patriarchal? What's so wrong with being an object if its just what nature designed me to be? I've realized that as much as I used to resent being what they call a "trad wife", its all I'm meant for. Nothing bigger. I dont know how to make him see. He just gets more upset when im stressed about housework not being good enough or noticing I gained 5lbs from my 21BMI position and deciding it may be best to move down to BMI 19 where there's less space for face fat abd getting too pudgy. He acts lije its so disturbing, "when did i ask you to do this? What makes you think I want you that skinny?" Uh, because why wouldn't you? Youre a man. I'm VERY aware he hates fat women, what's the big deal if I want to optimize and be as skinny as I realistically can be for him?
TLDR; My husband hates my "increasingly extreme" traditional views and I dont know how to reconcile this

>>33247352 (OP)
Please get off this board and raise some children instead. Stop worrying about what your husband thinks. He seems wholesome and pure and hasn't realized the mechanical truth about foids yet. Let him be.

>>33247360
Its creating legitimate conflict. He wants "me" back but doesnt seem to understand this is how it has to be, he'll give me paradoxes like
>so I have ultimate authority?
Yes
>then Im ordering you to just decide what YOU want to do tomorrow no chores or anything like that
But I can't i need you to tell me what to door where to go
>nope your authority figure just told you that YOU have to choose
I dont like that. Why is it so hard to just accept that his life partner is inferior? He doesnt simp, he clearly thinks most women are complete retards and act lije children.

>>33247352 (OP)
He should order you to have some self respect, I would hate to have a gf that is so self hating even if I don't want a narcisist either.
I wish for a gf that is my equal if not a superior.

>>33247352 (OP)
>Thats what all these older women tell me, thats how its SUPPOSED to be. Isn't it?

No. That's not traditional at all. Also which tradition are we talking about? People talk about 'trad' this & 'trad' that, but ask 'em what tradition are they talking about, and they'll have no answer.

If you mean the Christian tradition, then your current model of marriage doesn't fit the tradition. Yes the man is the head of the household. But the context is the man (husband) has to emulate Christ.

Christ is the head of the church.
So the Husband has to be the head of the home. (You) Are the home. The wife is the body, the heart of the house.

What did Christ do for the church? He sacrificed Himself for it. So it follows: The man should sacrifice for the home.

That sacrifice comes in the form of work, labor, helping his wife at home. The man is to respect his wife as his own body, that means he must respect her. And the woman must respect the husband and submit to him as the head, the leader.

You are going about it in a power dynamic way. In tradition, it is not a power dynamic. In tradition, a leader serves he does not dictate, because that leader role model is based on Christ.

>all I'm meant for. Nothing bigger.
It's a big role to be the body of the home, the heart of a house. You are not meant to do it alone you have the head, your husband, to guide you.

And right now he is trying to guide you out of low self esteem. So let him do that.

>>33247899
Thats both of purpose parents' dynamic, honestly it is just difficult with both insisting I must be completely subservient and that my sole purpose is care for house and offspring, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I must do it alone. It should never be his job to take care of the children or the house. He's staunchly against that. But dont all men secretly just want a female that is a subservient companion?
>>33247940
They're fundies, we're atheists. I still believe in a natural order, the male performs hard labor or provides food and the female raises young and provides the home. Historically speaking women have not had the right to vote, divorce, hold gainful employment, seek higher education, or really do much besides serve her husband. THAT is what I'm told is my life purpose. Serve him. Respectively my father and father in law were happy, and they brought in all the money so thats all that matters. If I work im only "stealing a job from a man with a family" anyway.

>>33247352 (OP)
>oy vey im a stay and home (not mother) taking care of the house,
you obviously aren't happy, just leave. work a food job and support yourself you lazy cunt, men do it every day. If you are eastern orthodox i kind of sympathize. if not you are a lazy retard.

This feels like bait, but...

>>33248089
>But dont all men secretly just want a female that is a subservient companion?
No, obviously not. You might've been taught that, but you can now see and hear with your own two eyes that what you were taught isn't true.

>Uh, because why wouldn't you? Youre a man.
You need to believe him instead of imposing your own predefined opinions of what he should think on him.

In general, I would find it deeply disturbing if I married a person who wanted to be treated like a slave or an object. That might've been more prevalent hundreds or thousands of years ago, but we don't live hundreds or thousands of years ago, OP, we live in the modern day. It might be difficult to break out of a way of thinking that's been drilled in for your entire life, but your husband will be happier and you will eventually be happier if you do.

>>33247352 (OP)
>So why does my own husband hate it? He says it's disgusting I see myself as an object, he doesnt understand the change, he hates that I'm "belittling" myself
Because it is. I'm cringing just from reading your post, assuming it's not made up.
>He just gets more upset when im stressed about housework not being good enough or noticing I gained 5lbs from my 21BMI position and deciding it may be best to move down to BMI 19 where there's less space for face fat abd getting too pudgy
Because this is an incredibly toxic and self destructive attitude towards yourself and since he's your husband I would assume he loves you and it breaks his heart to see you do this shit to yourself. At least that's how I would feel in his position.

>>33248089
>But dont all men secretly just want a female that is a subservient companion?
No, there's actually many men that want their woman to be happy, so if being subservient makes you happy keep doing it but try having something else going on for yourself.

>>33247352 (OP)
this is a good thing because he gets to have his object and be a feminist. it's like porn. just follow the narrative- i notice you have no external worries either like a job, kids, bills, etc. kino post