How do you deal with feelings of guilt and undeservedness over positive outcomes you didn't work for?
I got a return offer at a nepo internship in a field where getting entry level jobs is really hard right now (CS)
Its strange because I don't feel this way about other privileges that I didn't do anything to earn, like not being ugly.

>>33247986 (OP)
It's called imposter syndrome.

>>33247988
How do I deal with it?

>>33247986 (OP)
get used to it that's how the world works
I'm a landlord because my parents started buying a lot of land and building on them, did I do anything to deserve that?
nah
as I tell a lot of people college is to make connections, most good and well paying jobs are reserved for people you have a connection with
that's just how the world works
you not being an ugly virgin like most people here should know some people are dealt some massive bonuses and some others are deal shit all, and it is just the way it is.

>>33247986 (OP)
your feelings are correct. the capitalist job system is not based on merit. you fix this by supporting unionization and tax rates for people who got lucky, so it isn't miserable to be struggling

>>33247986 (OP)
>Feelings of undeservedness
Which will lead to envy - you know it will, doncha? There people out there who gained something wonderful by literally shedding blood, and you won't be able to shake the feeling that you want to drag them down and to concoct justifications for doing so.

>>33247999
Ignore it and enjoy that you have this good stuff. Ideally, you are grateful.

>>33247986 (OP)
Say to yourself: "I deserve the riches of life"
"I am worthy of happiness"

>>33247986 (OP)
Young half-millionaire here. I managed to break into the the upper classes. I got where I am without any nepotism whatsoever. But I still have impostor syndrome.

The injustice is not that I'm not deserving. I got here despite many obstacles. The injustice is that 80% of the schmucks here don't deserve it. And it will affect you even if you are part of the 20%.

If you want to combat this guilt - give donations from your inflated salary to scholarships for disadvantaged kids. One of the worst travesties is when someone wants to learn, but cannot.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do is act as a stop-gap when your company is trying to do something immoral. Refuse to do it, be a whistleblower, intervene, whatever it takes. If you're a nepo guy then losing your job won't send you to he hungry. Watch the movie Ikiru.

>>33250054
>stop-gap
I am a retarded nigger who used that phrase incorrectly. But you can figure out what I meant

>>33247999
Imposter syndrome is linked to self-awareness and above-average intelligence. Also, checked

>>33247999
Sorry for the late response. Yeah so imposter syndrome is best dealt with by not dealing with it at all. By that I mean, just let the shit feeling happen, allow it, but always acknowledge it's just a feeling. Feelings come and go like piss in the wind. It eventually fucks off. Could come back, maybe. Assume that it will. Allow it to come back. Just make sure you still cognitively choose to pursue the things you want anyway.

You can also go the longer route to solving it, digging into your upbringing, but that's a big time sink and might just hold you back long term. But the big spoiler on it is usually:

>Your parents didn't give you much approval or feedback or guidance and praise for anything you did, good or bad. Your actions had no emotional echo growing up. You grow up, and you are permanently uncertain whether or not your actions or achievements or progress is merited or not, because there was no strong parental role models to code that internal validation system in you. So you are left guessing whether or not you deserve the fruits of your hard work.

What you do with that info is up to you. But the process arrives back at the same technique - acknowledge it's just a feeling, let it in let it pass, remember to notice the feeling =/= reality.

>>33247986 (OP)
>>33250415
Also, try to redefine the feelings. You say undeservedness.

None of us deserves anything. Neither good or bad. Instead, throw the word 'deserve' in the trash. Replace it with 'consequence'. Actions have consequences, all of them, even inaction.

Your actions lead you to an opportunity. That's the consequences for your actions. Whether the actions was through what you know (expertise) or who you know (networking) matters not. What matters is that (you) yourself made actionable steps to getting towards an opportunity. That's about as real as it gets. There's no need for the guilt at all. There's no need to stroke your ego either. Go for the middle, just accept it for what it is, and accept it. Same way you accept putting one foot in front of the other when you walk. Do the same as you progress through education, work, anything. Just walk straight as you can.

Also keep cognisant of other agents, other humans who are/were involved. You got the opportunity because someone else decided to give it to you. Should they feel guilty for giving you that opportunity? No. We can't decide how others should feel can we? Fact is whoever it was who gave you the opportunity did so because they wanted to. There's no need to second guess what others want, only they know why they want things.

So again, just accept it without the emotional games played on yourself.