Any ideas on how to disappear completely?
My life is ruined. There's nothing left. I decided I'm going through with it. I purchased a nitrogen gas tank for a painless end. My plan is to disappear, stealing a boat and sailing out to sea. Then I'll kill myself and let the ocean consume me, making sure when I die I sink into the depths far away from land as I make the boat ride automatically off far away without me. I had a lot more I had passionately typed here but my personal life isn't important., and I don't want any traces of me left. I wish I never existed. There are no positive tomorrows and you all know this. There is nobody left anyways in my life to seek me when I leave so it doesn't matter.
>>33250586 (OP)Suicide is a crime. Mods are going to delete this thread for illegal content.
>>33250622Well fuck you too ig, guess ill just go to 8ch an or whatever
It's sad, I thought about it, but it's just a thought
>>33250586 (OP)I'm not gonna give you advice on how to kill yourself. I went through homelessness addicted to crack and clawed my way out of it. Today I support myself live in an apartment in a nice rual town, and have a job I love.
People can come back from almost anything. What do you have to lose by just picking up and trying somewhere else, if you have nothing to lose anyway?
>>33250586 (OP)I won't read over-wrought, farewell-cruel-world, creative writing slop. [smallest violin.gif]
>>33251450Murder is illegal and wrong. Dont murder anyone including yourself.
idc im typing a bible
What the fuck even is there? My situation is inescapable. The "reasons for living" are just unfulfilling bs.
No jobs can afford my apartment and my necessities and i live in the cheapest place around here for a long time. Can't drive legally. Dont have a car. No public transport. No friends or family left to help. My personal possessions will all be gone when i lose this place due to lack of storage, including my sentimental stuff and whatnot. I recently got out of homelessness myself and fought like hell, but I cant get hired anywhere I try. My crippling anxiety causes me to freeze and forget everything mid interview so i lose every single one. I'm not kidding. It's every. Single. One.
Im so paralyzingly anxious around others and co-workers that it gets me fired from every job and everyone treats me like a complete retard and i never open my self up socially so they dont know me, im more than capable when im alone and there isnt social pressure on me, I usually have to quit before they fire me because when I'm around others I freeze and simple rudimentary cognizance becomes impossible.
Nnever had truly memorable moments with peers, friends or family. Family was extremely abusive and neglectful and they are responsible for things like my ptsd and anxiety that have crippled me and all of my relationships, I only ever had my dads side but they are gone now. I'm trapped, completely isolated and alone here in this apartment. I cant get into any nonprofits programs or government assistance besides food stamps. Out of the tons of people I have dated none *really* showed effort, love or care and the ones that were special, the affection didnt last and quickly wore off. I cannot be sold in the personality market to anyone but complete fucking losers and im so insatiable that I dislike most people as well.
>>33251603That would be solvable if I didnt have my anxiety thats threatening all I have left. It's destroyed me and my life all throughout. Im a husk. My life has always been shallow. All I want to do is get away from people but all I want to be is close to people, with people who care just as much and are as passionate and considerate as me. I cant act right in public, I never want to leave my apartment due to its effects on me.
I'm stuck here in this shitty dangerous place. I dont really have options as im going to lose this place and all I have left soon. Too soon to solve anything. I looked into all of my options. The best thing for me to do if I were to lose everything is to freight hop to somewhere else and that definitely is more nuanced and far more difficult than im saying it is
