Hypothetically, how could I forge/buy a fake philosophy degree to fool retarded academics?

I've studies for a few years and I've decided that I refuse to be deep fried by the current academic system here. 7+ years for a PhD? No thanks. Most professors are retards anyways, who's only skill was being obedient grovelers who did what they're told constantly, until the day they can hold power themselves, real slimy shit. I'm not having my individuality destroyed by academia like they did to themselves.
I know this isn't right in the eyes of many, but I'm not saying I'll do it. I just wanna see what people have to say about the possibilities.

>>33253787 (OP)
You can buy a degree from a "we give you credit for life experience" diplloma mill. But no - absolutely NO - real university or academic individual will be fooled by it.

It might impress your neighbors.