How do I stop being a toxic piece of shit in my relationship? I am 100% sure our problems stem from my bullshit. Is it even possible to be 100% non toxic?

Some examples of the bullshit I do:
>I don't like playing with other people that aren't my boyfriend, so whenever his brother or his best friend join in, I try to bail. I feel like his brother mocks my skills in the games so that makes me feel bad too, but I argued with him that that was the reason. My boyfriend basically told me I was annoying him and that he's never done that with my family, so that "I'd have to think about that".
>Getting extremely jealous of other women, specially past crushes, my episodes of jealousy have been extreme. Worst one was that I screamed at him that "I hated him" for having a past crush that he spoke positively of, she's been living in my head ever since. I told him I didn't mean it but she hasn't left my head since, we've never had partners before other than each other.
>Haven't lost weight due to my health, even though he likes my chubby figure. I am afraid of the fact he might not like my figure if I lose weight and also it takes a long while. He says he doesn't mind waiting as long as there are results.


These are the primary ones, other than this we do not argue much. We are an LDR, I don't wanna lose him, I love him and I know he does too. I just wanna know how to not be toxic at all? I fantasize about being born again, correcting every single mistake I ever made and being 100% non toxic way too much.

>>33254364 (OP)
Your toxicity comes from your insecurity. Do things to make yourself better and you’ll have more confidence, ergo less toxic.

>>33254415
My life is an endless pit of insecurity I don't seem to get past and I hate it. What is something that increases confidence anon, that isn't just the gym?

not even joking

people like you are a mistake

>>33254436
pick up a sport and learn to lose, yes people will mock your skills there too and it'll help you lose a bit of weight
for the jealousy? grow tf up

>>33254479
Lmao

>>33254490
How do I get rid of jealous thoughts?

>>33254364 (OP)
you need to see a psych and stick to it for years. Its the only hope. Not a therapist. A psychologist. I was like this before and it was really hard to change. I suffered so much when I was like this and made other people suffer too.

but basically you have deep underlying assumptions about the world that your mind will constantly revert to because your genes+experiences growing up. Its hard to truly deprogram from them.

>>33254745
Psychologists haven't helped, I guess I want quick results but I need to be better about it, keep sticking to it.

Would you say you've made progress? How did you make progress?

>>33254364 (OP)
another thread filled with shitty advice. here's some actual advice: don't think about him all the time. i'm assuming that youre young, and you aren't going to marry this guy, so you don't need to revolve around his world. it sounds cliche, but the more you focus on your own life, the more you focus on things within your control, the happier you'll be. if you bet your entire happiness on whether or not this one guy is into you, you'll never be happy, full stop. get a hobby, get other friends that aren't him. (as for the here and now, try to pretend that it doesn't bother you until it doesn't. fake it till you make it, sister :^) good luck!)

>>33255184
Thanks a lot for the advice but we've been 5 years together and we do have plans on marrying, he is basically my fiancée. He means the world to me, truly. I don't want friends because they dissappoint me, he is the only person who hasn't been a total piece of shit to me. I would love to know how you cope with these feelings, but he is truly my soulmate, that's why I care so much about this.

>>33254364 (OP)
>how to stop being toxic
I won't read yet another repetition of this meme.

>>33255286
then i'm afraid you'll be stuck like this for the rest of your days. try, for yourself, to find other friends, even if you plan on getting married. as much as it's fucked up to say, there's still a chance it might not work out, and despite your confidence, i still wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket.