>>33258437This is the second time I ever opened this board in 9 years, I just happened to be here. And yeah I get what you mean, my weekend consisted of me gaming at night alone and sleeping through the day, to be honest this is my weekends for years. At work I equip a "personality" just so that things go smooth, which I unequip at home, where I don't care about the outside world. It takes months if not a year to watch a movie I wanted to see, because I don't feel like it. All my friends drifted away, or we stopped talking or I rejected someone's advances long ago. No one wants to befriend an adult man, especially if he is solitary like a 900 bc monk.
I often wondered why it is like this, without much results but slowly getting to accept the consequences. Guess being abandoned and mocked by people you thought were friends in early influential years did not help. As adults it is always about connections and what you can give and if you can't give much, no point in befriending your ass.
And as you say, there are lots of miserables here and somehow they still have hobbies, friends or passions. Those nerd cons and speedruns for example, I "like" gaming but you can't force me with a gun to interact with the people there. Maybe it's a superiority complex, a feeling of "I'm better than them". I like a type of music, but going to a concert or a festival brings out loads of people I can't see myself interacting with. And a guy alone who is not social on a social event, won't go well.
It always felt like being lost between worlds and cliques, like being a flying rock between multiple planets, orbiting then passing through, maybe changing my trajectory. It takes thousand years if not more to pass another space rock, but we are both slinged between gravitational pulls so we go opposite directions, never to meet again.
Sounds gay, I just made it up, but sounds like how it is. Met some people I just clicked with, but it always fell apart for some reason.