real life girl here. i really wanna ask out this guy but im scared, is it true guys are attracted to girls who are confident and straight forward with what they want?

some context, im 18 and hes 18 or 19? i know cause we were in the same year of school.

i dont know him super well, but we have a ton of mutual friends and have talked a few times!!! i think hes super cute and we have stuff in common, mostly music. also hes super kind and friendly to me always, he jokes with me and checks up on me. i feel like theres a chance he could be open to it or like me? but that might just him being a normal friendly guy.

is it a good idea to be forward and just tell him i like him? or give hints and be flirty. the only issue is im not very good at flirting.

also, i broke up with my ex bf in early march. im totally over him but my ex was pretty manipulative and affected me alot. is it too soon to get into another relationship?

and if i do ask him out, what is the best way to go about it, like if a girl asked you out how would you want her to do it? irl or on text? forward or giving hints?

thanks!

>>33257952 (OP)
Ask for a date, like getting a coffee. You don't need to do more, just smile, laugh at his jokes and be nice and that's it, and most men already like if you do the first step. If he's interested he will then put effort into it. If you put too much effort into it, he might just think your easy to have sex with. At least for most men. Text or irl doesn't matter, whatever is most practical. Oh and I guess you can wait with the "i liek you" part, go on a date and see how well you connect. In general for women the hard part is that it's not just ending up as sex relationship

>>33257964
yeah thats true. im actually quite worried about guys being only into me for sex. so i kinda wont have sex or do anything sexual with a guy unless ive been seeing him for a while (my ex was a hypersexual creep) and that kinda traumatised me lol. this guy seems really cool and genuine though!

i feel like its a bit hard to explain without giving out lots of details with me and my life but asking for coffee would be kinda weird? like im 18 and apart of an alternative music scene ppl dont really do that idk. sorry if i word that weird.

>>33257977
I get, the coffee part is just a basic example. Do whatever is natural and both feel comfortable, just maybe not too complicated.

>>33257952 (OP)
All you have to do is either approach him and lean against him or ask him to do something with you. It's that easy, and you're here overthinking, fuck off.

>>33258018
i know im probably overthinking a bit but idk with the context of our lives and friendships i think youd get it a bit more. im a pretty anxious person but i worry that if he rejects me he will tell our mutual friends and they will judge me or something. i dont want it to be weird with him or with my friends if it didnt go well yk?

do any of u have any idea on how to word it when i ask him out? like i wanna be clear and kinda casual but also direct yk?

>>33257952 (OP)
"Hi. Remember me? I'm Anonette. We were in History class together. Would you like to have lunch someday and reminisce?"

>>33258067
we didnt go to highschool together but we went to ones very close. ive only spoken to him on like 5 different occasions or something. but many mutual friends and we are in the same music scene.

would like:

hey ik this is kinda random but i kinda like you and i was wondeirng if u maybe feel the same way? if not its no stress i just thought i should tell you

would that work on a guy? idk what guys like, im a bit of an autist

>>33258095
Just ask to hang. Be a little flirty with smiling, laughing, eye contact, little touches here and there. Test the water, go from there

>>33258109
true i just feel like maybe he will think thats weird cause we havent really talked much but thats true! simple advice like this helps more than you think, cause i really dont know how to act around guys and what they like

what kinda stuff can i do when we r together that guys like, outside of the obvious u just mentioned?

>>33258133
Eating somewhere casual, walking around a mall, bowling, (chick fil a, chipotle) or listening to music in a car or a park are easygoing first hangout ideas. Aside from smiling, laughing, eye contact, and light touching, maybe also standing close, consistent but not constant texting, asking random questions to show interest (fav color, where you from), maybe meet up for lunch at school, play with your hair while talking

>>33258151
true! im a bit of an autist so this stuff helps. ive only been with one guy inthe past and he sucked and was super manipulative to me so idk i just find it hard to navigate relationships and dating

>>33258219
Yea keep in mind a lot of guys are bad at taking hints, so definitely try cute little shots here and there, and just kinda see his reaction. If he digs the energy he'll match it or respond positively, and you can (as you're comfortable with) up the energy / flirting, or just keep it at a consistent level. If he doesn't seem to respond all that well, it's totally okay and no big deal, just finish the hang out having a good time as friends. Yall can still be cool at school, and you can be proud of yourself for at least trying. If yall hang out and it turns out good, set up another hangout. If he likes you back you'll probably be able to tell. Also applies to if he doesn't like you back

>>33258246
yeah true! but along with guys not being very good at taking hints, i am also very bad at it too. which is why im wondering if it would just be best if i was super forward and said 'hey i kinda like you' instead of playing this flirting game yanno? i also feel like itll be easier for me to flirt if we already establish this layer of interest yk? and i feel like if he rejects me straight up then i wont have to waste time on it. also we dont go to the same school but we went to ones very close if that makes sense.

>>33258280
Yea that works fine, especially if you think there's a decent chance he likes you back, and especially if you don't mind the possible rejection. Simple, short, and straight up is good

>>33257952 (OP)
>is it a good idea to be forward and just tell him i like him? or give hints and be flirty. the only issue is im not very good at flirting.
Rip the bandaid off and just ask him if he is dating.

Also you dont know the guy, you might not even like him... but you wont know unless you try.

If you are nervous go on a double date and make him meet your parents. Your parents will see through bs quite easily.

>>33258287
i feel like thats how ill probably go about it, i feel like being straight forward would be best for me. idk if theres a good chance, but hes been so kind to me whenever weve seen eachother, trying to speak to me and joking with me yk. so i feel like its not coming out of nowhere.

>>33258297
i dont think id do that so early but i totally get that. hes def not bs, hes best friends with some of my best friends, i know hes a genuine guy yk?

>>33258338
I dunno man, I definitely would take him yo see your parents. Your dad will appreciate it and it makes it easier to talk to them about it.
You might get some decent advise, plus your mom will prolly be happy to hear it.

>>33258375
noooo i feel like that is not something good to do before you even start a relationship. very intense and very soon. i get that parents can sniff out bd but i feel like thats just a shit idea, i dont need my parents advice yanno im an adult. especially since i havent even expressed i like him lol

>>33258397
nta but you're here asking for advice about just asking out a random guy, don't overestimate yourself.

>>33258402
wdym?

>>33258095
it would probably work

>>33257977
>hypersexual creep
Oh, another frigid woman who doesn't like to put out! What a catch!

>>33257952 (OP)
I don't know if we're attracted to it, but we definitely appreciate honesty and straightforwardness. There's no games and no hints.

Go for it

>>33257952 (OP)
You might have to, some guys are really dense.
You don't have to be really formal about it, just tell him there's a movie coming out and ask him if he wants to come. Anybody will get that
t. Dense guy

>>33257952 (OP)
The answer to every single question that starts with "do girls/boys like...?" The answer is always "some do, some dont, some dont care either way".
Always.
>im scared
Lifes scary. We take risks sometimes. If we dont we die poor, alone, and unsatisfied. Sometimes it blows up in our face. It doesn't kill you.

You will not be 80 years old nearing death looking back and thinking "good thing I didnt take a chance that boy saying no would have been *devastating*" all alone in your hospital room to the sound of a heart monitor.

>>33259303
im not going to go into this properly, but he really was horrible and expected sex from me contantly and would nag me for hours after i said no and guilt trip me into doing it. im not frigid at all, he was genuinely a horrible partner

>>33259666
thats true, thank you sm

>>33257952 (OP)
>is it a good idea to be forward and just tell him i like him?
Yes. Men don't understand hints. Just tell him.

> is it too soon to get into another relationship?
If you feel ready, you probably are.

> if a girl asked you out how would you want her to do it?
As directly as possible.

>>33260540
okay good to know good to know!!!

im really worried aboyt getting rejected but also im quite confident and itll hurt at first, but i feel like i dont really care as its low risk high reward. like if he doesnt like me then its really no big deal.

>>33260618
>im really worried aboyt getting rejected
Why? You're not dating him now; if he rejects you, you still won't be dating him. The worst that can possibly happen is that absolutely nothing changes.

>>33257952 (OP)
> is it true guys are attracted to girls who are confident and straight forward with what they want?
In general, yes. Especially being straightforward.
>is it a good idea to be forward and just tell him i like him?
If you want a quick and unambiguous way to move things forward with him, sure. However, him accepting a date doesn't mean he's actually interested in you. Plenty of men will say yes either for the novelty or the prospect of having an "easy" woman. So don't actually throw yourself at him--don't have sex or make him think it's on the table in the near future. Otherwise you won't be able to tell the difference between interest in YOU or interest in sex.

That said, most guys would be flattered if they got asked out. They don't think that deeply about it.
At worst, if he's unused to it, he might think you're joking or messing with him, but this guy sounds sociable and is presumably quite attractive for you to consider asking him out, so I doubt it applies to him.

>is it too soon to get into another relationship?
Only if YOU think it's too soon. 3 months is plenty of time for your situation. It's not like you're 40 and just got divorced after 20 years.

> what is the best way to go about it
Depends on the guy. If he's sociable like he seems, just spending time around him and giving hints should give him the message. If he's more dense or reserved, then being direct is better. But either way, since you don't know him that well, it should be in person.

>>33257964
This. Approaching is generally fine as long as you have boundaries and can show it--both for your protection and to let a guy know that you're not a slut.
I will assume that anything a woman would do for me, she will do the same for other guys in similar circumstances. If a woman is drooling all over me despite not even knowing me personally, I will think she's insane, a slut, or both

>>33258397
>i dont need my parents advice yanno im an adult.
Because being a self-admitted autist with an awful ex right out of high school is such a great track record.
Sad that you insist on learning the hard way.

>>33259303
kys sex pest

>>33257952 (OP)
Just tell some common friend to give him a "hint".
Really you cant think this by yourself?

>>33260904
>don't have sex or make him think it's on the table in the near future
dont worry lol i wont. im very wary with guys after what i experienced with my ex, so if we were going to have sex it wouldnt be for a while into our relationship i feel like.

>but this guy sounds sociable and is presumably quite attractive for you to consider asking him out,
he is! hes also just super friendly to me, joking with me greeting me, looking out for me etc. i only worry that maybe he treats everyone that way and is just doing it to be nice. instead of it maybe being a sign hes into me.

>>33260917
everyone makes mistakes, and i wouldnt say it was my fault my ex was the way he was. he wasnt like that at the start of our relationship it kinda developed into that. i just feel like im an adult and i guess my parents advice would be good later on but in the early stage of just asking a guy out i dont think its needed.

>>33262306
hey theres no reason to be rude! this board is for advice and thats what i was asking for. plus that wasnt the only question i had. its difficult for me to go about stuff like this cause i have mild autism or whatever. just try have some sympathy.

>>33258061
this is exactly what guys worry about too, except it's worse for us because we also might be falsely accused of rape/being a "creep" if she says no