For context, I am a Pakistani ex-muslim. I'm not open about my apostasy except to my friends. This is mainly for survival as I currently live with my parents and don't want to rock the boat and ruin my relationship with them.

About 2 months ago I met this Indian girl on Bumble and we clicked. However, I realized I can't pursue a relationship until I’ve told my family I've left Islam. Meaning, the other day after getting home late from a date my mum asked if I was seeing someone. I lied and said I was seeing friends. She knew that I was lying and guilt tripped me for it. This then annoyed me, why should I have to sneak around and lie about who I'm seeing? I can't keep lying forever and if things get serious, say if I want to meet her once a week (she lives about an hour from me) things will get complicated very quickly. Dating in secret for X amount of years and then revealing that I want to marry her isn't feasible either.

Im not entirely sure how to approach this with her. I would like to pursue a relationship with her but I can't until I've come clean. Would it be fair to say that I'll get in contact with her again once I am out about who I am to my family? I mean I also plan to tell her not to wait, if she meets someone else then she should be with them. I'm not being an asshole here am I? We aren't exclusive in any way shape or form and we've only been on 3 dates. So its not like I lead her on, made her my GF and then broke up with her.

>Why don't you just tell your parents now?
My parents just got back together after nearly divorcing. Their relationship is stronger than ever. Me doing this will almost certainly tear them apart again. They'll blame themselves and then eventually each other. I'm not ready for that. I'm also not quite ready to deal with losing my extended family either whom I'm very close with too.

If anyone has any general tips that might be relevant in terms of dealing with the family fallout that would be appreciated too

Depends on how religious your parents are brother, I know a man who said he would die for his son yet if he left Islam he would never speak to him again

unlucky you were born in a ideological prison

>>33258221 (OP)
first, do you live in a country where apostasy is a crime, or are you in the west, so your only consideration on your secret keeping is whether this will hurt your parents and cause them to disown you?

>>33258524
My parents are unfortunately both heavily religious. They aren't whabbi-tier but still believe in the core tenets, pray everyday etc. Unfortunately its a mind virus that I cant seem to escape from.

>>33258531
I'm lucky that I was born in and am living in the UK. So no the only real ramifications of apostasy here are being ostracised and disowned

>>33258221 (OP)
Return to shitistan and marry one of your cousins. Problem solved (in every sense).

>>33258221 (OP)
Ditch stupid hadith and return to Islam focused on only Quran. You are welcome.

>>33258221 (OP)
You have to make up your mind about telling your parents either way. But yeah, just be open with pajeeta about what's going on and things should be fine. In fact, women love the whole "forbidden love" thing. As long as she knows what she's getting into, it's her choice whether to stay involved.

Sorry you were born into that dumbass religion. Best of luck, hope you don't get beheaded.

>>33259949
Fuck off and kys

>>33260600
I see what your saying but Ive stopped believing in Islam completely. I would still be lying if I said I had some faith in what the Quran says. Besides, the Quran still says you need pray and fast. I just want to leave the religion completely and live my life as I want to live it

>>33260620
Yeah, I'm going to leave it up to her. I'm going to frame it in a way where I'm going to say that I can't give her my full attention while having to keep us a secret

Bump

>>33259364
You could get mobbed and the authorities would cover it up

>>33260600
That's haram. Quranism is cope. Soon you will leave Islam like OP.

>Me doing this will almost certainly tear them apart again. They'll blame themselves and then eventually each other.
They're adults. They can handle it

>>33258221 (OP)
>>33259364
>>33260778
why would you date an indian instead of a white girl?

>>33264741
Doubt it. My parents wouldn’t let this get out to the wider community because of embarrassment

>>33265673
Can they? To them, their eldest son will not be joining them in heaven. He’s chosen to become a kafir. I’m not sure if they will be able to accept it

>>33266006
I’m open to dating any girl of any race. The issue isn’t that she is Indian. The issue is that I can’t give her what I should be giving her in a relationship because of not being able to tell my parents about who I’m dating and having to sneak around

>>33258221 (OP)
Damn, that's pretty complicated I can tell you what.

I can feel for you as I'm an ex Muslim as well. The best thing you can do in your situation is to continue lying to your parents it's all you have to do and try to slowly cut them out of your life or distance yourselves from them. I was fortunate enough that all my siblings ended up mean ex Muslims too so I was able to have them for support.

But I suggest for you not to ruin your relationship with this woman just because of your parents that would be the worst regret you'll ever do if you have to cut them out of your life do it but make sure you're smart about it make sure you are self-sustainable.

>>33269209
Thanks bro. Crazy how your siblings all became exmoose too, must have been a big moment when you all left the cult.

I get what your saying about having to lie and cut them off. It seems as though I want my cake an eat it too. I want a relationship with someone who is non-muslim AND I want to maintain the relationship I already have with my family. The prospect of them not talking to me saddens me the most.

I'd be alright with lying if I was say 16 or something. But man im 24, why the fuck should I have lie at my age about what im doing with my life or who im seeing. Im not casting her out completely btw, I plan to bring her back once things are stable and my situation is clear

>We aren't exclusive in any way shape or form

You're not ready to date, regardless of any of the religious or familial issues.

>>33273107
How so?

>>33258221 (OP)
Tough situation. GF is the least of your problems. It really depends on how you think your parents would react. Even if they’re going to flip out, if you think they would not use their leverage over you (I.e. kick you out, cut you off, etc.) then you should tell them and deal with the fall out. That’s easier said than done, but it’s like breaking up. There’s never a good time to do it.

If you think they will use your leverage over you, you need to become independent. Only then will you be able to live how you want. I would think that based off that you are even asking this question, independence is going to be the way to go. And you need independence anyway.