Hello I am a closeted bisexual having faced "hypocritical" homophobia by people beforehand. I've been a victim of bullying for 2 years and now I'm finally free of their social bullying. Whenever I get physical they are cowards not being able to fend for themselves (sure I asked my parents for help "ignore them" was the worst advice I took to heart) when I finally told the principal they stopped. I really hated them and there's so much I can explain. I just wanna let go, and now I'm sent to another school I'm finally free. But I really am doubting myself if that it'll get better, even with my coping mechanisms getting healthier the pain is still there

>>33258343 (OP)
Rape them to assert dominance.

>Hello I am a closeted bisexual having faced "hypocritical" homophobia by people beforehand. I've been a victim of bullying for 2 years... I just wanna let go... I'm finally free... but I really am doubting myself if that it'll get better...
You’re not crazy for still feeling the pain. Repression of emotional responses (especially when advised to “ignore them”) is what we would call a shadow-building experience. You weren’t allowed to confront the wound, so now it lingers, unintegrated.

>Whenever I get physical they are cowards
Cruelty often masks cowardice. But responding physically isn't resolution. It can feel like it, but it’s often the ego compensating for powerlessness. What’s really needed is for you to consciously reflect on how this bullying shaped your view of yourself and others. Otherwise, it festers.

>I really hated them
Maybe you still do. That’s fine, really. Hate has its place. It tells you something real was violated. But now you’re in a new school, new phase. The danger is turning that hate inward if you keep seeing yourself as someone permanently “scarred.” You’re not. The past is real, but it’s not eternal.

>I'm doubting it'll get better
Let me be blunt here: it won’t magically get better. But it can get better if you understand what you actually need: not just coping mechanisms, but transformation. That means confronting what happened with the intent to understand, not erase it. “No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” You’ve seen hell. Now plant yourself.