I've only been married for eight months. We didn't live together before the wedding, since we both came from religious homes. My husband has been distant the past two months, focusing on stuff with his computer whenever he's off work.

I wanted to spend more time with him, so I tried joining him but he seemed annoyed with me being bad at the games so I stopped. I tried learning more recipes for snacks and sweets, just stuff to encourage him to maybe watch a show and munch on stuff. He'll eat the stuff I cook, but he still focuses on his games.

I'd told him how I felt before when he was spending this amount of time on his computer, how it seemed like he'd work most of the day then sit on the computer until bed and maybe spend some time awake with me in bed.

That he's doing it again after that talk made me upset so I got a hotel room. I told him if we couldn't be closer I wanted to at least be as physically distant as we'd gotten emotionally. He asked me what hotel I'm staying at, and I still love him and everything so I told him. He sent me door dash and I feel like he's genuinely sorry but I'm worried he's not really going to change despite knowing my feelings. We've talked about it already but he's already been doing it again and I'm just worried about how long it will be until he goes back to treating me like an afterthought.

>>33262316 (OP)
sad. wishing you two the best.

>>33262316 (OP)
I'm afraid you're right, anon: he's not going to change. This is exactly why it's so important to live together before you get married: so you realise what the other person is actually like before it's too late.

>>33262316 (OP)
Usually men who do this are doing this because of one or multiple of the following reasons:
>he has low sex drive and after the initial honeymoon period of fucking you he's gotten over it
>you're ugly and he only married you because of societal pressures when he really likely wanted to coom for a few years in Asia before settling down
>prior to marriage he felt trapped in his home life and thought this marriage would be an escape from that
>he never really got that period of his life to just play vidya alone for several hours a day
>he's stressed from work and playing games is his way of unwinding, while talking to you is mentally taxing (requires concentration because women get mad when it looks like you don't pay attention to what they're saying or remember every single detail from every conversation they ever told you)
>he has depression

Would any of the above reasons be true in his case?
Also have you considered setting aside specific days of the week when he can play all he wants and when he has to spend time with you?

>>33262316 (OP)
This is a situation when having specific requests might be helpful. How long do you want him to spend with you? Maybe suggest a couples activity?

>>33262316 (OP)
Marriage counselling

>>33262316 (OP)
I won't read wall-of-text threads. Get to the point next time.

>>33262371
This. It's not enough to tell him how you feel, you need to also be solution oriented, and put forward specific solutions that he can agree to/act on.
What is it that you want, exactly? What would make you not feel this way? What is reasonable to ask of him?
Maybe suggest scheduling one or two nights a week to spend together. Maybe ask him if he can be patient with you when playing games, and tell him you want to spend time with him playing them. Maybe ask if he can help you get better at them.

"But I want him to come up with something himself. If he just does what I ask, and I have to ask each time, he doesn't really love me."
If you think this way, please recognize that it's an unreasonable expectation to have. It's not anyone else's responsibility to address and resolve your emotions but you.

Also, some people also just kind of like to have their own space and time, to be by themselves, alone, even when living with others. I know it may be hard, but try not to take him being withdrawn personally.

>>33262316 (OP)
>I've only been married for eight months. We didn't live together before the wedding, since we both came from religious homes.

So you married some dude you don't know at all. What you describe really doesn't come as a surprise, there is a reason people do the "getting to know" part before committing in any way whatsoever.
Because otherwise its a total crapshoot, and it looks like you happened to draw the short stick.
I'd seriously consider that you may have made a mistake - my advice would be to not waste too much time on the sunken cost fallacy by trying to "make it work". Take whatever time you need, but be ready to cut your losses and move on.
It s all fine, as long as you learn from it and make sure you actually know and get along with the next guy before signing any legally binding contracts.