My gf of 4 years broke up with me back in December. I wont go into the details, but ever since then, I just started believing that falling in love is not real, and love is based rather on how useful someone is to you. Once that usefulness runs out, the love dies.

Since she broke up with me I have been having a lot of casual sex with random women. Everytime some form of relationship starts to form I just end up blocking them since I really don't want to do the whole pretending we love each other because we have a current use for one another.

This idea makes me feel very depressed and hopeless. If this is true I don't want to have kids, I don't want to be married, and I don't want a girlfriend. Which would mean I would be alone for the rest of my life. I live in a big city and every time I go out for coffee or to my gym, I just feel so jaded about everything as I look at everyone around me.

is love real?

>>33267251 (OP)
Love is not real. You don’t need to be a giant faggot about it. Find someone you can settle for and who mutually benefits from strengthening your weaknesses and vice versa. Have babies. Die.

>>33267251 (OP)
>is love real?
Nope.

>>33267251 (OP)
No. I do believe in mutual dependance in some degree.

>>33267251 (OP)
It's a strong emotion for men, if that's what you mean by real. For women it's just cold eugenic selection.

>>33267251 (OP)
The problem is that women don't like to be comfortable, once she's used to you and you're her best friend you're no longer seen as a threat/intimidating and that is the biggest turn off for women, it's the same reason women live romance novels starring mysterious men.
I grew up thinking my family was really close and genuinely loved eachother but after my dad died my mom confessed that she had hated him for years.

Women only want you for excitement or personal gain, if any one of those stops she will leave you, it's just how nature made them unfortunately

>>33267251 (OP)
Of course love is real, you moron.
but the fact that you dated a girl for 4 years and didn't make it permanent means you weren't in love

>>33267251 (OP)
Love, as you understand it, is not real.
Impulsive attraction is not stable.
The choice made to continue feeling emotions for the same person over months, when your instincts contest you? That is a skill that you likely aren't capable of, and the people you're with aren't capable of either.
>This idea makes me feel very depressed and hopeless.
Depression is cringe.

>>33267251 (OP)
It's not that you have experienced love, you have not experienced true love. If you mix up love for lust, like you probably did, you will see no difference, hence why you probably did a bunch of casual intercourse to replace it. True love is not doing something what will make you feel good, it's doing something right, as such, if you truly feel bad about your girlfriend take this as a signal, better yourself and do something which she can never take away, something which no one can take away, greatness. Reject this cheap lust and do what's right, repent for your actions and you'll feel true love, the one from the Lord.
God's love is by its unconditional, enduring, and sacrificial in nature. Human love, on the other hand, can be conditional, fleeting, and based on emotions, but all humans err, all of us mistake something terrible for smething good, but His mercy endures forever.
Godspeed, love is real, He is real.

>>33267251 (OP)
Love is an abstract idea; if you can imagine it, it's real. What you're asking is whether successful relationships exist, and obviously they do. That doesn't mean you can't be fooled by your own emotions; it just means emotions can never be the full picture. Your neurochemical reaction to the start of a relationship is meant to encourage going deeper into it, not support the entire thing. You have to consider the relationship itself if you want it to last, which obviously involves both parties.

> tldr: yes, but only for people who have emotional intelligence sufficient for that purpose

>>33267251 (OP)
>Is love actually real?
Yes and what's more, it's a choice. You can love something or someone at any time, even in anger or sadness. The only time someone believes love isn't real is when they make the retarded mistake of assuming that love is an emotion.

Such people pretend to be rational and cold and stoic, but they're idiots who operate on emotion, ironically. They expected love to be full of emotion and this proves that's how they operate; emotionally. Then when love doesn't make them feel how they want to feel, they emotionally throw a piss fit and declare it isn't real lol.

Anyway the reason you can't love those women is because you presume it's about transaction, about using one another. You are the one using them, in your own words,

>I have been having a lot of casual sex with random women. Everytime some form of relationship starts to form I just end up blocking them

See?

>I really don't want to do the whole pretending we love each other because we have a current use for one another.

That's (you) setting those limitations and conditions. You are the one who makes it transactional and loveless. You know who else did that? Your ex-girlfriend. She took 4 years of your life and then when you outlived your usefulness, she said bye bye to you.

You've become exactly like her. You k ow this right?

>>33267251 (OP)
love is real but it is different for men, women and children
for women, briffault's law reigns supreme

>>33267251 (OP)
it's real, but not permanent

>>33267468
i don't
women will be openly dependent and needy of their man/male
but men who show open, outward dependence will give women the ick and be rejected sooner or later
by that i mean that men can need that woman they invest so much in, but they musnt act or feel that they do or she'll run circles around the poor sap
a guy needs to be able, even willing to drop the woman at a moment's notice
not even to be appreciated, but just out of self respect and commitment to living his own life
she grafts her life onto his because she needs him, but he doesnt need her except subconsciously

>>33267742
two lies and an insult

I believe in love.

>>33267798
>The choice made to continue feeling emotions for the same person over months, when your instincts contest you? That is a skill that you likely aren't capable of, and the people you're with aren't capable of either.
that's why it's called love, not desire or emotion or even feelings
that's why the Greek had three words for love
paulo coelho goes through that well

>>33267251 (OP)
why did you guys break up? was there cheating involved?

This is why you shouldn't have a bunch of casual sex after a breakup