>grew up frequenting incel autist websites
>turn 23, still khhv, only went on one date ever, insecurity is eating me up inside
>bite the bullet and download tinder
>after like 2 months of embarrassing cringe conversations and dates make out with some chick
> I embarrass myself over text again, but lose my virginity to some other girl a week later
> Have had sex with 7 more women in 1.5 years since then, all over tinder, no fats or uggos, even been in a threesome with 2 girls which still feels surreal
> even more jaded about women than before, don't even feel like looking for women to hook up with since my last FWB broke it off
Not one of the women I went out with was someone I felt like I could be with and trust, and I think the feeling was mutual with all of them. It's not from a lack of trying to form a genuine connection, my intention has never been just hooking up. I've asked a few girls out in person (gym, bar) and it's the same shit, it all feels so forced and pointless. Am I damaged goods? Does my autism only attract evil BPD women and the normal women can smell something is wrong with me? Girls irl have never indicated they are interested in me like they did with any of my friends.

>>33267336 (OP)
>Am I damaged goods?
yes
but also serious trust issues, unless you're picking up girls living on the streets then you shouldn't feel like you can't trust
of course if you harbor extreme ideologies you'll never feel like you can trust anyone until you find another weirdo like you, but you're 23 and interact with normal people, you should be disregarding most nazi and incel crap people say around here on the basis of how untrue it actually any of it is once you go out to see the real world.

>>33267405
So many of the girls I've gone out with lie for literally no reason. When I catch it any interest in pursuing something more is gone. I enjoyed hanging out with ALL of the women I've had sex with, but all of them do some bullshit that makes me not be able to take them seriously. Lying, playing games (especially childish texting games), having emotional outbursts in public, having batshit insane opinions etc. And of course since I (thankfully) can't get attached to them it fizzles out.
But again, in my everyday life women don't really express much interest in me, I've caught a few signals and smiles and approached but it ends up literally exactly the same as the dating apps. Cold approaching sucks ass anyway and it's not who I am at all. At school, uni, work I've never heard of chatter of someone being interested in me like I did about my friends and acquaintances.

>>33267405
>>33267502
But to address your point, it's hard not to be a le nazi incel when your experiences are this blackpilling. I interact with normal people, some of these girls were outwardly very normal, and I don't even frequent 4chan anymore, I just needed somewhere to vent.

>>33267336 (OP)
You saw and interacted with people at their worst, yourself included. Now you're jaded and feel there's something wrong with that. What did you expect?

Without knowing you in real life, it’s hard to say. I have a natural “mean mug” and have been told I look serious, which definitely affected my luck with women throughout my teens and 20s.

I was an absurdly late bloomer and a bit of a wallflower. I followed a similar path, using most of the apps and sleeping with okay-looking women—which usually left me feeling empty—until I realized what I really needed was intimacy, not just sex.

That said, this would be a great topic to discuss with a therapist. Often, it’s the spaces we spend time in and how we carry ourselves in those spaces that shape how people perceive us.

Just some food for thought.

>>33267336 (OP)
>Not one of the women I went out with was someone I felt like I could be with and trust, and I think the feeling was mutual with all of them.
LOL. Enjoy the "gay disco" while you can, and then leave the rest of us to inherit the earth.

>>33268448
>gay disco
Is this a reference to something? It sounds familiar.

>>33267927
I do have a mean look to me, yes. I know and always knew I want intimacy and not sex. Sex is still better than nothing, and being a kv at 23 gnaws away at you no matter how principled you think you are. People definitely judge you for it, especially women. I feel that I am done with it now, getting a good fwb is a pain in the ass and one night stands are worse than jerking off, just pointless ego stroking.