Not actual tism. Just socially retarded.

>Mumbly voice
>Very restrained and inhibited when talking to people (even close friends, to an extent)
>too scared to even talk out loud in my own room (parents might hear)
>Not entertaining and very boring
>Can't recall any time where I've ever held someone's attention for more than 2min talking about something or successfully told a story

How 2 fix?

>>33270962 (OP)
I have all of these things too.
The voice thing is easy since you just have to learn how to project your voice.
I'm still struggling with the rest but here is some things I have noticed.

I do not feel comfortable with basically ANY level of vulnerability or opinion with anyone outside of my immediate family. No stories about embarrassing things I've done, no opinion that might put someone against me (this can be nearly fucking anything).
I CAN be social if both parties are playing by the same rules, we are both working on a project or I'm at the bar(literally where you go to talk to strangers).
A big thing for me is that I often just don't want to talk to anyone. I have gotten so comfortable in my solitude that I do not have the desire to interact with people the majority of the time.
I have a brother that is very, very social. He has talks to people for hours nearly every day. I need to nail him down and fucking drill him for knowledge one day. If you have someone like that, do that.
I don't want to draw attention to myself. I want attention, but it also brings with it expectations that I can't handle.
I should probably go to therapy but I neither want to indicate to my parents that I need therapy or want a therapist to know that I have problems. I know it's their job but I don't know you.

If your relationship with your parents is pathological, you're not going to make major strides so long as you're under the same roof. Either move out or try and get the relationship to where they let you do your thing.

Do something that makes you proud of yourself - hit the gym for 8 months straight, make some art, finish a challenging project.

Find things that truly interest you and you feel passionate about - this way you will have something to talk about since you care. Try not to have it be a specific piece of consumer media, though, but something broader and more in depth.

Learn to actively listen to people and care about what they're talking about (if it's something worthwhile, if they're just blathering, that's on them) - people like feeling like someone notices them for something they deliberately chose to tell the world.

It's not an overnight fix, but you can be almost unrecognizable by this time next year if you commit to being the more worthwhile version of yourself.

>>33272623
Generally good advice.

>Do something that makes you proud of yourself
I actually have. Been boxing for 2 years now and I'm pretty good at it.

>Learn to listen
Yerp

>>33270962 (OP)
>>Mumbly voice
Deliberately speak clearly. Works on actual autists too.
>>Very restrained and inhibited when talking to people (even close friends, to an extent)
That's smart. Keep doing it. Do your best to locate people who already share your kinks, rather than spilling your spaghetti to normalfags.
>>too scared to even talk out loud in my own room (parents might hear)
That's smart. Keep doing that. Try to get your own place.
>>Not entertaining and very boring
Talk about your kinks and interests. That way you'll be enthusiastic. First find someone with shared interests, obviously.
>>Can't recall any time where I've ever held someone's attention for more than 2min talking about something or successfully told a story
Practice in a mirror outdoors where your parents aren't nearby.