I have an orientation denial/closet fetish and have had it for many years. Just looking for advice.
>By 23, I fully realize I'm gay and enter the best relationship of my life with another guy for 3+ years
>he proposes to me, and my brain activates something strange, a weird arousal at the thought of sabotaging my own happiness and comfort
>tell him I cant be with him, and lie to him about being straight
>never had arousal towards women in my life
>despite that, start trying to fuck women who have a crush on me
>need to think about cock to stay hard, but the psychological high of being with the "correct" sex is intensely satisfying
>decide to never be with a man ever again
>have had the same gf for 2 years now

my advice is not to do that

>>33277305

OP here. Idk how to tell you this, and it's scary, but forced straight has a way of enticing gay guys in a way that no other kink I know compares. Its not even so much for pleasure, but for the weird and extremely potent high of constant denial. It's so fucking hot to not be able to get with men, but crave it everyday. This is multiplied by 100's when im channeling it into sex with women.

>>33277134 (OP)
Bump.

>>33277134 (OP)
>double bump

Mental illness

>>33280123
Thanks for the obvious. Did you have any questions or advice?

Wow. You made being straight gay. I am in utter awe of your faggotry.