So the Girl i have been together with for a few months met with a guy who wrote her on Instagram because they apparently went to the same school together and its rare she meets someone from her hometown (she is from a different country). She told me beforehand and I thought it was weird but didnt say anything, couple of friends told me that this is seriously messed up. What does 4chuds think. I got more context if needed.

>>33279116 (OP)
It IS seriously messed up. Plus, you failed to set the boundary that you weren't okay with it so now she's going to respect you less and walk all over you.

>>33279125
Hmm. So I should confront her about it? I mean for context I have a lot of Women friends and she doesnt make me cut them off, where I think its different is that I don’t think she and the guy were good friends before she met me whereas all my women friends were my friends before I met her. Im not really the jealous type tho so idk what to do

>>33279116 (OP)
It means you are in this the last few months but she is not. If she was she would have not planned this. Doesn't matter if she told you before she went or if you had drawn a boundary. She doesn't feel the need to stop being single because she doesn't feel like she is in a relationship.

>>33279138
>I should confront her about it

OP nta but its too late for any of that. Lots of relationships one person is committed and the other isn't really yet and they may never be. Most people that really like someone wouldn't consider going on a date with another person.

You do need to face reality and expectations or you will get hurt.

>>33279162
I always thought she was really involved, actually in the beginning when we first met she was the one asking for a more serious relationship so basically we have been dating for a few months and maybe for a week or two we have "commited“ to a full on relationship, and now this. I don’t reall understand where its coming from

>>33279116 (OP)
Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Also:
>She told me beforehand and I thought it was weird but didnt say anything
In which case you can't possibly blame her. She gave you a chance to say you weren't comfortable with it, and you didn't say anything. If you did have a problem with it, you should have said something. That you didn't is your fault, not hers.

>>33279171
>I don’t really understand where its coming from

OP after living this kind of thing multiple times it always seems ok until it isn't. So she was all ready until some man from the past pops into the picture then she is confused so she goes on a date with the man. That may not lead to anything but you are on hold until she makes that decision. You saying don't go doesn't change the fact she wants to go.

Only thing you can do is pull back and that is her fault for bringing a new man into the picture. She made that call.

>>33279116 (OP)
>>33279125
This.
>>33279138
Just be honest. That's always the best course of action. Here is what you say:
>Hey anonette, I know I told you I was okay with you going out with your guy friend, but while you were out I felt a little jealous. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm just tell you how I feel.
Simple, honest, to the point.

>>33279458
>going out with your guy friend
She made the decision to go and told him. She didn't ask for his permission nor how he feels about this. There is no way to know if this man is an old friend or not and she didn't offer to introduce OP to the man. OP has introduced female friends to her out of respect. She made plans and dropped a bomb on OP. She knows it would make OP uncomfortable but she chose the date not OP's feelings.

>>33279116 (OP)
I hate hearing shit like this. You think the budding relationship is solid and out of the blue she starts going out with some other man and you are the one that has to cope and accept it. Just bullshit.

>>33279116 (OP)
There's 1 of 2 options, either you and her go together or you dump her.

>>33279568
Thing is she chose this instead of OP already. It would have been easy to tell the other man no thanks but its likely they decided together to go out. OP at that point became an obstacle to overcome and not much to lose. She'll dump OP unless this man really fucks up and that is doubtful.

>>33279116 (OP)
My God, how insecure can you get? Let me tell you a secret - your girlfriend knows lota of people you don't know, and sometimes she talks to them. She may even eat with them. THIS IS 100% NORMAL.

>>33279844
This, he may even eat her out. Again NORMAL.

>>33279116 (OP)
You basically let your girl go on a date with another guy who obviously has romantic goals with her.
I don't understand why women are like that. I don't believe they are naive to this point.

>>33279116 (OP)
She is literally going on a date with another man despite how she frames it

>>33280567
They aren't naive. In this case OP's girl and this other man planned this together. This other man knows everything there is to know about OP yet OP knows nothing for a fact about this other man.

>>33279859
yeah they were probably so madly horny for each other that they banged right there in the restaurant.

get over yourself, OP.

>>33280667
Are you for real? OP doesn't know this man and knows nothing about him or her connection to him. He doesn't know where they are going or if its even a restaurant. So you would be ok with that?

>>33280692
he knows they reconnected on instagram and the reasons why (went to school together, from same country). the question you need to ask yourself if she was doing something nefarious or intending to, why tf tell OP at all?

>>33279116 (OP)
This is the plot of past lives you cant trick me

>>33279171
How long has it been? more than 6 months?
What are her plans for her life? What is her dream man like? Talk to her out what is it that she would change about you. Be open to see other girls and see how she reacts. She could be playing games with you too seeing if you chase her or are insecure, if you don't like those games dump her and be plain about it.

>>33280667
This. Ask HER about what HE thinks if you would invite yourself to the dinner so she can introduce you to him. See it as an opportunity to manage your jealousy and work out your insecurities.

>>33281010
>Ask HER about what HE thinks
Really? This is a new relationship and already she has brought a NEW man into the their circle. It is unnecessary. Sincere adults wouldn't do something that might be misunderstood especially when they give no real explanation. OP thought they had an understanding then she springs this on him. They aren't yet at a point trust is established so it is normal to wonder what the hell and why. It is possible OP hasn't done a good enough job proving his female friends are just friends and she is secretly upset over this. No one wants to be hurt and its normal to question motive and trustworthiness as you fall in love. You take a big risk so both should want to avoid a misunderstanding.

>>33280879
I fucking kek'd at the reference

>>33280879
ah yeah it is. And she nearly fucked the guy even while pretending to be open and honest with her husband. The only thing that tipped it in her husbands favor was how macho the Korean guy is and how much of her shit her husband was forced to eat and not lose it. In the west she's is an equal to her husband and her husband is to blame if he gets upset.

>>33279116 (OP)
Normalfags crack me up, reddit is just a search away you know OP.

>>33279116 (OP)
Why didn't you just meet up with him together? It should be no problem for her if she doesn't actually have feelings for her old friend

>>33279116 (OP)
Let's pause for a reality check here, before the virgin incels begin to explode. She met someone from her home town and had a meal with him. That is the whole story here. EVERYTHING else exists only in the warped imaginations of the trolls.

>>33279116 (OP)
She did nothing wrong.
It might ordinarily be weird to have dinner alone with another man, but these are special circumstances, so the weirdness is negated.
It would ordinarily be suspicious af to have dinner alone with a man without telling your boyfriend, but she DID tell you, so the suspicion is negated.
It would ordinarily be shitty behaviour to have dinner alone with another man despite knowing it makes your boyfriend uncomfortable, but she gave you the opportunity to express your discontent and you said nothing.

It's fine if you're uncomfortable with this sort of thing, and if it comes up again, it's perfectly reasonable for you to let her know that it makes you uncomfortable (you should have said this from the beginning, but that's neither here nor there). But there's no reason to say her behaviour was 'seriously messed up'. You've made up all this insecure bullshit in your own head, and let your friends gaslight you into thinking you're being cheated on. Like a bloody woman.

>>33279116 (OP)
Seems normal to me. It's just dinner. Keep your eyes open obviously but this alone isn't unusual or messed up behaviour IMO.

>>33286448
It is also perfectly normal for me to not continue a budding relationship with a woman that is confused and continues to behave single. She is free to do anything she wants and include anyone past present and future because its her life but my life is my life too. I get to choose whom I share my life with. If a partner wants to bring someone else into our orbit then the least that should be done is run it by me. Not tell me plans are made nor introduce me to someone I do not know forcing me to GUESS how I should react or feel. She doesn't get a bitch session from me nor shame session or a directive not to do it. It is her choice. But when she walks out the door my relationship with her ends. I want an adult that is ready. If they aren't I don't waste their or my time. I should have to ask what the rules are nor should she. I treat people as I expect to be treated and feel empathy and give people wiggle room but I refuse to become a doormat or pretend a "gf" isn't still dating other men.

>>33286584
Seems unrelated to the conversation.

>>33286587
No its not. Your opinion is its fine but keep an eye on her. Some said his fault for not expressing his discomfort. Some call him insecure and its all on him and some say she's cheating. Who really knows.

But according to OP they are starting a relationship and she told him a guy hit her up that is from her home country and town. Thats all he knows about the guy. I'm saying it would be a reasonable expectation to know a bit more about the guy before she goes out. Give me a pitch, why is this a good thing for us both. I learned long ago you never tell someone what they can or cannot do in a relationship because they will resent you and its their life, their decision. If someone doesn't want to provide basic information about who they are with, not even asking for checking in, then there is no future in the relationship.