I’ll get straight to it.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 years. Over time, I’ve suspected she might have a drinking problem (both her parents are alcoholics), but it became clear a month ago when I found hidden bottles in her drawer. I confronted her and told her I can’t see a future together if she keeps drinking.

There are other issues too — she’s had the same minimum wage job since we met, and despite my efforts to help her grow (encouraging courses, job applications), I’ve ended up doing most of the work. She shows little drive to improve her situation.

Today, I checked her emails and saw multiple drink orders, all on days I’m at the office:

June 5: 4 IPAs delivered

June 13: 4 pints at a bar

June 16: 3 x 660ml beers delivered

June 17: 3 x 660ml beers delivered

June 23: 3 pints at a bar

June 24: 750ml wine delivered

June 27: 2 pints at a bar

Some of these days she lied about being at work or the gym, but she was actually drinking.

I’ve decided I can’t see a future with her. The issue is our lease — we have 1 year left. I pay £2000/month (rent + utilities), she pays £700. If we break up now, I’d be stuck with £2700/month, which I can’t afford. Living together post-breakup isn’t an option in our 1-bed flat, and I worry she might leave the country and stop paying rent altogether.

I know breaking up now is the right thing to do — but I feel used, lied to, and honestly, I’m past caring about the emotional side. I'm looking at this from a practical standpoint now.

What would you do in my situation?

>>33280005 (OP)
Even right at this very moment she is texting me that she will be late at work - when in fact she is at the bar. I have the order receipt open on her email right in front of me.

>1 bedroom flat
end the lease early, or pay for it with money borrowed from your parents or a credit card

>>33280018
It's obvious she has broken your trust and you won't accept this.
So what will happen?
You will want her to go through some version of rehab for alcoholism. She will change or she will fall back into bad habits. If you spent 5 years with her and she wasn't always like this I think she can go back on track

>>33280005 (OP)
Honest answer? As a younger man I'd have enjoyed a final months/year on the lease and started drinking myself. Hope she and I can trauma bond and drown sorrows together while I float other responsibilities, year ends and I can move and HARD behavior change breakup with her and clean my shit up. Probably signup for another race that always works.
It's gonna be messy either way king may as well have fun in the kindling before it's all ash.

>>33280005 (OP)
to be completely honest, if your list is all she's consuming, she definitely isn't to the point yet where it's considered a problem. alcoholics don't take days off let alone a week.

>>33280018
this is what happens with addicts. they lie to keep getting their next hit

i used to do this. i would lie and run off to go take a hit. or say i had to check on something inside when i just wanted drugs and would come out like nothing happened. lying to your close people to get high on your addiction is brutal

>>33280725
deadbeat mindset
>>33280005 (OP)
in your heart of hearts you have to be ready to break up. you tried, anon. if you can't fix her, don't waste your life trying. you HAVE to be ready to let go otherwise she's gonna make you miserable too.

>>33280005 (OP)
>leasing with someone you're not sure is stable
you played yourself and have no one to blame but yourself
last year a very dear friend asked me to start a business with her
we went the experimental phase and tried stuff and asked for prices of stuff to buy for the business but then I saw she was very unstable, drank some days, would oversleep, got too confident about times and prices and would arrive late or spend more than expected
so I just told her I had to spend the money in something else and cancelled the whole thing
would I have wanted that business
to be honest I would, it was a good oportunity
but I can't see myself taking it to the goal with her.
anyways you played yourself, never share expenditures with someone until you're ready to cover for it all if you don't know the person too well, or better yet, get to know if the person is reliable before doing so.