Anonymous
6/27/2025, 2:06:04 AM No.33280087
Since I was young and discovered the internet, I've fallen into rabbit holes and more rabbit holes, each time reaching increasingly extremist and isolated groups.
I feel like I've never been able to grow up or have a normal life. I live conditioned by the opinions and positions of other people online, even those of people who consider me a subhuman by default who should die (with arguments to back it up). I've mechanically imposed their views on myself and limited all my positions, artistic tastes, or lifestyles that I should or shouldn't live based on those communities and their rampant criticisms.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? Go out there and pretend I'm normal when there are people out there arguing that my entire gender, or my religion, or my political orientation should be crushed to death? It's so pathetic that I've even asked for help on /X/ to find out if there is some supernatural way to undo it all.
The only solution is to kill myself because I'll never live a real life, but like everyone else who says that I'm a coward, and that won't happen. I have knowledge that I regret knowing, and I'm anchored to all of this. The first thing I think about when I see someone on the street is fantasizing about having their life and not mine. I should be young, I should feel alive, but I feel like a sick old man. I hope I have a fatal car crash that gives me lifelong amnesia or just kills me.
I feel like I've never been able to grow up or have a normal life. I live conditioned by the opinions and positions of other people online, even those of people who consider me a subhuman by default who should die (with arguments to back it up). I've mechanically imposed their views on myself and limited all my positions, artistic tastes, or lifestyles that I should or shouldn't live based on those communities and their rampant criticisms.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? Go out there and pretend I'm normal when there are people out there arguing that my entire gender, or my religion, or my political orientation should be crushed to death? It's so pathetic that I've even asked for help on /X/ to find out if there is some supernatural way to undo it all.
The only solution is to kill myself because I'll never live a real life, but like everyone else who says that I'm a coward, and that won't happen. I have knowledge that I regret knowing, and I'm anchored to all of this. The first thing I think about when I see someone on the street is fantasizing about having their life and not mine. I should be young, I should feel alive, but I feel like a sick old man. I hope I have a fatal car crash that gives me lifelong amnesia or just kills me.
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