I’m 19, serious about relationships, kinda romantic, lives in Florida, nothing I ever try works out, always get rejected
start talking to this girl online — she’s 21, lives in Argentina
she's cute, funny, we vibe, lots of joking and flirting
she never initiates convos, but always responds like she’s into me
avoidant about calls, but flirty in messages
I start to really like her, tell her how I feel — she doesn’t really acknowledge it directly
ask if she’s been serious or just joking, she says “everything I said is true”
never asks to see my face, never gives clear answers
then suddenly posts a breakup message on IG — turns out she had a long-distance Discord BF for a year
“he cheated and ruined me” etc.
her stories are emotional: says she just wants love but needs someone real, not online
I ask what’s going on, she says she just broke up with him for the last time
I tell her I was starting to really like her and was confused
she still doesn’t respond to that part
Now I’m sitting here wondering if she actually ever liked me or if I was just a rebound/distraction during one of their breakups
I’d be willing to visit her or pay for her to visit me if it turned into something real, but she hasn’t said anything clear
I don’t want to chase someone who doesn’t care, I’ve done that far too many times, but I don’t want to walk away if there was something real there either
What I do?

>>33281682 (OP)
>"LDR"
I won't read delusional threads. Picrel is OP talking to his imaginary friend. Go outside!

>>33281682 (OP)
"She" is a fat 50 year old guy in his underwear, typing with one hand while stroking himself with the other

>>33281682 (OP)
Hey man. Been there. Done that. My tip: don't overvalue her - 1000% she doesn't really value you, and sadly it will be a LOOOOONG time before you meet anybody who actually maybe gives a shit. You don't seem to struggle with this so just repeat how you met her with like 5-10 more girls, and juggle them. In my experience it helps to make a folder with each ones name and their details to not get mixed up. To defeat the enemy you must know them, become them, my son. Eventually one or two will pay off, maybe, for a while. That is just how it is.

>>33281682 (OP)
>Stupid Long Distance Shit
Exactly, don't bother, long distance shit never works unless you're loaded and they want citizenship - a pretty shit foundation for a relationship

>>33284087
Other guy. True, but honestly, since when is there any good foundation to any relationship anyway?

>>33284100
Two people being attracted to each other along with common interests is a good start, but that's often not enough for modern women

>>33284116
Beginning to think nothing will ever be enough. You think the dudes who completely completely give up and check out maybe have a point?

>>33281682 (OP)
She doesnt care about you.

Dude I cannot stress this enough. When women are interested theyre entirely up in your shit. They dont let you humm and haww and wonder about it.

>>33284128
I kinda have some sympathy for OP though, many of us have no fucking idea that what you are talking about is even real so we grab at straws like retards.

>>33284139
For sure. I've been there. I used to get mad limerance when I was a lot younger. I've been there.

But thats also why I gotta let OP know, from an outside place of understanding and reason. She doesnt care. Hes gotta stop torturing himself.

>>33284152
I kinda think each of us has to feel it first to understand it though, it does hurt a bit to see somebody else stumbling into a minefield you know from experience is there. Lol, speaking of limerance, I still dream occasionally of somebody I haven't seen in 17 years at this point. Really wish it goes away.

>>33284160
Lol, probably not uncommon. Im 38 and married and still have that "best friend" I thought was the one when I was 20 hanging around. Talk to her often.

She actually came around to me before I met my wife and I was pissed because it was stereotypical picture of "Im done making mistakes and dating bad men and I realized what I need is right in front of me" and I was like no, you had your chance feck off Im not your contingency plan.

Id be lying if I didnt stay there's a bit of "what if" feelings there. But shes kind of a moron.

>>33284181
Yeah, great job not going for her when she started to expire. The way I see it (grew up with older sisters) is those friend situations are basically her just keeping you as a pet or orbiter or emotional tampon or whatever (and usually keep other girls away from you too).

>>33284192
What I noticed is they'll see what they can get from you without any work and if it fulfills a need they'll stop you there. Like if you come at them full romance and just hand it to them, they'll take it and get their affirmation and emotional intimacy from you then see if they can find something better to fuck with no regard for what he can give her emotionally cause shes already got that from you.

>>33284128 #

Sorry I don’t post on here ever and don’t know how half this shit even functions.

I don’t know man. I’ve never experienced that at all. No girl has ever been interested in me in the slightest. Thats part of why this has been so weird for me. She has shown more interest than anyone else but still not enough I guess.

>>33284213
Yeah, true, the girl I dream about sometimes was kept from me behind the scenes by a classmate who I was sort-of in a maybe friendzone state with (fuck knows what to call that). I wasn't interested in her but she was always around and apparently incredibly catty behind my back to anybody who maybe I was or who seemed to be into me. What you say is true, gotta be direct and god knows above all never simp unless she starts bringing you breakfast in bed.

>>33284226
Other guy. I'm not casanova either. I can't tell you what works, but I can give you a fucking Diploma in what doesn't at this stage. I suppose you are also starving for something you don't know the taste of at this stage like me, but you gotta temper your enthusiasm. A hell of alot of girls are just children and stay that way forever, attention is the only thing they crave. You just gotta hit your head enough times to learn what is real and what isn't.

>>33284242
I feel like I’ve been bashing my head against the wall for long enough at this point but I guess not. Just always been the stereotypical nerd. Probably why it’s been so hard on me at my age but idk. Gotten to the point where I just shut down any thought of approaching a girl irl. May just be a retard.

>>33284264
Nah bro. Don't hate yourself. Resist putting yourself in a box, you are a person not a cartoon character. But, you gotta work on yourself, it is not a meme it is fucking paramount. Nobody will EVER love you until you like yourself. I was a nerd too, always goddamn neurotic about hitting the Top 10 in my grade of like 200-250 kids. I never even got a kiss until 28, 4 years after hitting 225lbs of 15% muscle too. TLDR; make yourself as attractive as possible physically and financially and don't even look at any girl who isn't soaking her panties already. This may seem odd too but you will get the most love from a girl you aren't really attracted to if that makes sense.

>>33284326
Idk. It kinda makes sense. Just seems kind of shallow. May just be stupid. I just see those around me like my friends with relationships and its annoying to see them effortlessly get what I want. Makes me feel like theres something insanely wrong with me when my friend with no money or job be in a happy relationship when I sit and rot with nothing.

>>33284233
>>33284264

I dunno if you read the rest of my reply lines there, but, Im also a stereotypical nerd, and like I said, 20 years ago I could have been found making the same posts as you.
You'll figure it out. Just beware oneitis. How it goes for people who dont struggle (and how it will go for you when it clicks and you get it.) Is that most women just aren't going to like you. Its a crapshoot. And thats totally normal. Its not a failure on your part. Nothing is going to sink you worse than setting your eye on a woman you had no chance with (even if you were the Chad. Youre just not what shes after. Plain and simple.) Then feeling like it was something wrong with you, that there was something you could have said or done different, and rhat there's something still you can say to bring it back, and then hating yourself about all of it.

That isn't how it works. She was gonna like you or she wasnt. Your fate was sealed within a day or two of talking to her. If she does, great. If she doesnt, move along.

>>33284391
I have been EXACTLY like you. The truth is it is incredibly shallow. Ridiculously shallow. Unfortunately girls have most of the choice so there are gonna be MILLIONs of us. My biggest thing came when I decided that me being attracted to somebody was a bad thing meant I should completely avoid them if I can. Stop obsessing over cuties. They will never give a fuck about anything but the mirror until they get so used up, old and ugly they would fuck a dog if it meant a roof and a hot meal.

>>33284391
When you go swimming at the ocean you start in the shallow end and move deeper.
All relationships, even friendships, start superficial. Just 2 people having a good time. And as you learn more and build a bond it can become more.

Youre not a shallow narcissistic failure or something for looking for a good time. Most genuine romance starts there.

>>33284391
If you go so long without it like me then you start to see alot of the finer stuff in other peoples relationships that they could never admit to themselves. Example: your friend might just be too pussywhipped to realise his girl is only using him to have a good time on his daddies money - or she is from such a shitty home that she will be literally anywhere that isnt home and just move from dude to dude until that becomes home. You start to see alot of peoples motivations when you feel like you are staring from the outside in.

>>33284401
>>33284408
>>33284413
Thank you guys. Never thought I would get solid advice from this place but I appreciate it. Given me stuff to think about. Guess I’ll just try to ignore it all from here.

>>33284430
I’ve never really thought about it that way but it makes sense. He has talked for hours about how fucked her relationship with her family is. While I still hope the best for him and my other friends relationships, I don’t really see his lasting forever. Still makes me feel like Vegeta watching Goku always be better than him but I guess I just keep going.

>>33284435
Nice. Give us a thought anytime, especially if things go better, we will be here for you, because somebody has to be.

>>33284441
Yeah, true. Man I thought I had a gypsy curse on me too for most of my life. We just need to wait a lil longer for our turn. Like, I wanna be Vegeta but Im just fucking Tien.

>>33284441
Dude, if you can find and fulfil a NEED in somebody, and not focus on a want, you can pull off some spectacular shit.