I hate the voices I can't control in my head. It makes me want to die. I hate the idea of living on psyche meds, and I'd rather die in a way that doesn't hurt much or make a mess. I feel guilty about my mother finding me.

>>33285716 (OP)
Meds time, schizo.

>>33285716 (OP)
schizo debating taking meds: a classic tale

>>33285716 (OP)
It might be age-related, which is to say that some schizos grow out of it: either the voices go away or they become more malleable, as one gets older. Other people destroy themselves.

I tend to think we all have voices and that a formal diagnosis of schizophrenia is more of a skill issue, of learning to manage them. As I've gotten older, it just seems much quieter in there, and if I have a "mood" then it is much easier to shunt it aside or talk it down than when I was young.

>>33287130
Or consider that nutjob in the news who crucified a pastor. In his interview he has a detailed plan. I don't know if he has voices but he certainly has delusions. But then, I've had weird, amusing-in-hindsight fancies about changing the world. Stupid people lack the reflection-ability to suss out their own nutty ideas. Maybe they could, in theory, develop it. I don't know.

>>33285716 (OP)
>I hate the idea of living on psyche meds
You hate the *idea* of living on psych meds. Okay, but perhaps you ought to actually try them before jumping to any conclusions about that? I'm sure the *idea* is best y scary, but the *reality* of taking them may well turn out to be a great deal less unpleasant than you're expecting. I've known a number of people who were much happier on antipsychotics than they were before they started taking them.

>>33287130
>if I have a "mood" then it is much easier to shunt it aside or talk it down than when I was young
I had a further thought, OP: There are people whose job it is to talk people down, for example on help lines or the cop whose thankless job is to talk someone down from a parapet. Maybe they have courses or manuals, I don't know.