i spend a lot of time on the internet, I don't even go to school so most the time I am just on discord or doing something with ai chat bots, watching weird ass animes or just whatever.

> I'm a 14y boy, never leaves house except to go to doctor apts.
>10-13hour screen time
>forgetting most things, days past fast and blurry.
i have never been to school in my LIFE let alone any physical social interaction outside of my family, all of my other interactions are online


my mom says I should stop spending my money on weird things like anime figures and a bodypillow that comes in the mail soon, but it makes me feel not as alone to have stuff like that.

i also got broken up with not to long ago, I'm pretty sure cus I was getting in the way, iwas told iwas a problem that they had to get a rid off, and I've tried to take my life like, 2 time this past month, I want it to end lwk.
but I don't want to hurt my family, I don't wanna berden anyone, I wish I could end it fast and easy without anyone remembering who I was,

I don't think I would be able to grow into a fully functioning adult; I just want to do whatever, forever (Mobo reference, haha). i wanna do drugs and drink but I ran out of xans and alc.

i feel like I act older then I am, I just wanna numb it all, but I also wanna stop being like this, no one wants to be with some dude who sulks in his own shit forever, no one really cares unless its there job so I know I have to stop this, stop being so pathetic.

You must be 18 to use this website

1. you shouldnt be on this website.
2. read a book "the war of art" by Steven Pressfield. Ill quote something out of there real quick.
"Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between both stands resistance."
If you are aware the only thing stopping you from doing whatever you want is you yourself- read this book, and if you resist due to "laziness", resistance has just kicked your ass.
You should never wait until later, a hope that there is some other perfect time to start. But truly, youll be wasting your time until realisation hits you- there is no perfect time. You just have to start. You can fix mistakes, but without a first step, there will be nothing to fix or learn off of. "Resistance will bury you. its a battle for the rest of our lives, it will never leave."
A step is a battle with resistance
Defeating resistance is war.
I suggest you get rid of addictive media such as tiktok, any app causing you to doomscroll, as well as chatbots. Your screen time will naturally shrink. It may be hard, but once you complete these steps, it will be easier to move onto the next resistance based target. ever wanted to workout? even if you dont have the budget for gyms, start with a few exercises in the morning. Make it a healthy habit, gain more such habits, make it your life. visit local interest events- attempt to make friends there, people are much easier psychologically constructed than you think.
What i am trying to say, that if you dont start working on yourself right now, i doubt you wont set it later in the future again and again.
Go read the book. It will give answers, advice, and what to work on.
I believe in you. You are 100% capable of changing things for the better. (go back to 1.)