why am I such a schizo that even the most mild inconvenience fills my head with "I should kill myself" thoughts and my mood changes from mania to absolute bottom of the barrel self-loathing in literal minutes? How do I fix this? Live like this?

>>33290050 (OP)
Find either something or someone that you trust that won't judge you to get you grounded immediately.

>>33290050 (OP)
By adopting a detached viewpoint on such occasions, viewing your feelings and thoughts as not you. To practice this, next time you stub your toe, think "that's interesting, what a curious phenomenon." You will find that it loses its forcefulness straight away. The pain is still there but it isn't happening to *you* and it dissipates quickly.

>>33290093
On par with magical thinking. Takes a special flavor of personality disorder to successfully disassociate at a flash notice.

>>33290093
>telling retard schizo male anon to go even more schizo
kek

>>33290094
If I can do it on command then it's a feature, not a bug, you poor normiefag.

>>33290094
>successfully
Compliment noted and acknowledged.

>>33290094
the personality disorder is what makes you want to kys bc u stubbed your toe actually. the latter seems like coping with it

>>33290050 (OP)
Man, this pasta looks delicious

>>33290050 (OP)
I have compulsive thoughts and when I'm in a bad place, I have suicidal visions a lot. I think a lot more people do than you'd think, most wouldn't admit it. But they're just thoughts. You have to learn how to reframe the thoughts and expose yourself to problems to prove you can survive them and get stronger. It'd probably help too to get counseling. I've called the crisis hotline a few times just to vent and it's walked me back from the edge a few times. Journaling and other things may help as well.