I used to have a lot of friends in my 20's. However, some got married and busy with the kids. Some I lost contact with on my own accord because as we aged, it seemed all they talked about was themselves and their accomplishments, i.e. making a lot of money, getting boats, properties. (just boring self-masturbatory talk) or they belittled me and called me names and were mean to me.

Which leaves me at this point, a single 30 y.o. man with pretty much no friends. I've had younger people want to be friends but they lose interest fast and move onto other things.

Is it hard to find friendship that lasts?

>>33290687 (OP)
I barely talk to my friends anymore. I think that happens as you age and your interests change.

yep the only time a lot of people aged 30+ meet others is during work or during kids' soccer games.

>>33290687 (OP)
It is normal for some friends to drift away. But you should always be on the lookout for replacements

>>33290687 (OP)
That's normal. You maybe have the sitcom relationships with some neighbours as your friends. But that's not realistic anymore, considering how much people move and how people stick to their own family. What's left are friends from high school or college you barley see. Or you befriend unemployed addicts, they always have time. My boomer dad also stopped having friends and met his old buddies maybe twice a year, and the rest were work colleagues.

>>33290692
>>33290700
>>33290701
>>33290713
Thanks for the response anons. I feel less isolated with this. I just truly value deep connections with people and that's hard to find

i'd say it's the norm and in fact i think social media skews our perception of how common that is.
i don't have active social media, just burner accounts used for marketplace/watching videos, but one day i found a coworker's facebook and noticed he had like 1.9k friends.
years later we get to talking and we usually go for drinks after work once every month or so. told me i'm the only person outside of family he hangs out with.


i'm part of an MMO guild with many people playing there for over 8 years, got yearly real life meetups and everything, and i have noticed that when one guy stops playing the scheduled events, that's usually it when it comes to hearing from them. you play 12 hours a week together for years and once they're gone, radio silent or maybe a yearly "hey what's up".

>>33290687 (OP)
Having friends as a grown adult (i.e. 30+) is cringe.

Having like "friends" you know from work, or the gym or whatever other hobby you might have that involve other people is fine. Like you said though, most people are too busy with their careers or even their marriage and kids.

I can't imagine as a 40 year old going to another 40 year old's apartment to do bong hits and play game cube like a couple of 19 year olds. That sounds like a nightmare.

>>33291093
>Having friends as a grown adult (i.e. 30+) is cringe.
Lol, lmao even.

I (early 30s) have a bunch of friends and I truly believe they are healthy for every human being as they offer emotional support, feedback, advice, fun times and much much more. Even my dad which is in his mid 60s has bunch of friends from work, childhood, neighbors, w/e that he talks with regularly. Sure he doesn't hang with all of them but still.

Skill issue I guess.

>>33291093
>I can't imagine as a 40 year old going to another 40 year old's apartment to do bong hits and play game cube like a couple of 19 year olds. That sounds like a nightmare.
sounds pretty kino. i'd rather be that than all the other 40yo paying child support and hanging out at bars.

>>33291128
>using friends as emotional support
Lol that was a good one.

>>33291141
>and hanging out at bars.
That is where a lot of 40 year old friends hang out actually, given how zoomers don't go to bars.

>>33291128
>they offer emotional support, feedback, advice, fun times and much much more.
Generally speaking, at that point in your life it should be your wife & kids that do all that.

You can and should still have a social circle of sorts of course, but having friends in the same way that a 19 year old does is cringe. I don't want to have to be obligated to go out every single Friday night to go smoke weed behind the skate park or watch WWF wrestling or go clubbing, lest I get a blogposts' worth of guilt trip that we "never hang out bro".

>>33290687 (OP)
If it were a different culture and time, we'd still connect and have the same milestones at the same times, but we're stratified and losing touch is the norm. Don't take it too hard.

>>33290687 (OP)
Well no, it's not normal or healthy, but it isn't uncommon anymore. In most cases it's more the fault of inheriting a failed society that provides no context for community or non-commercial interaction, so don't beat yourself up about it too much. A lot of people are suffering.

>>33290687 (OP)
Yeah you lose your friends as you get older. If you're lucky you find one or two who stick around for the long hall, almost never friends you had as a kid.

>>33290687 (OP)
I'm not 30 years old yet, but honestly it's probably normal to not have friends at 30 years old considering you have a wife and kids. Maybe try connecting with the younger generation?

>>33290713
>Or you befriend unemployed addicts, they always have time.
kek, that's like the guy my old dad sometimes goes to the fleamarket with.

>>33290687 (OP)
i think you should develop new relationships and not burn bridges but this is pretty common

>>33290687 (OP)
I hear you man. I am on a similar spot, 30+ years old. I still keep in contact with some friends, but as life goes by people tend to drift away due to having to allocate more and more time to work and family.

In my case, similarly to what you said, I cut contact with others on purpose since I feel embarrassed about my life, and don't want to hear them bragging on and on about how much they got. I mean I'm happy for them, but I must admit I feel miserable in comparison.
I just wish people got a hint and stopped trying to talk about personal life if they know the person is not in a good spot and they don't like to talk about it. Why not just stick to talking about common interests and stuff?

But yeah, in short, it is unfortunately common to lose old contacts as the years go by. Normally, you start to befriend coworkers, but only if you are lucky enough to get some decent ones.

>>33290687 (OP)
It's pretty standard. I didn't have a lot of friends but I did have a few close friends but now they've got families I rarely see them, I've asked to meet up a few times but they're either working or spending time with their wife/kids. It's just the way it is, friends dift apart because there really isn't enough time in life, we work five days to be free for two

>>33290687 (OP)
No-one told you life was gonna be this gay…

>>33291128
Probably a location issue. Do you live in a rural or urban area?

>>33299452
I often think that life would be so much easier if I had been born gay. In the country I live in, not in some ass backwards poohole ofc