I had a fight with my wife, main cause is we're trying for a child and it ain't happening.
So she got upset and went to her parents house for the last few weeks.
Now I got a call from her father telling me to come and discuss the situation with him despite me being very busy.
What should I do?

>>33299881 (OP)
Why you fighting over fertility issues? There's some things worth fighting over and this ain't one of em. This is one of the things you work together on, not fight about. The more you fight on it the more she feels shame about her body failing her and failing your dreams of fatherhood.

>>33299881 (OP)
Dump her ass and find a younger woman is more fertile. I bet she is mid or ugly and has zero value as a human being. Let some other cuck waste his time with her.

>>33299897
Well yeah.
She isn't being logical about it and blaming it on her hormones and her urge to be a mom.
For starters, she won't have sex with me only on her fertile days, something I don't exactly agree on because I can't really make sure to be available on those days.
Which she sees as me not wanting babies, or I have some side chick I'm having fun with.
She even accused me of being gay because I couldn't impregnate her.
>>33299909
We're both over 30, So you have a valid point for that.
I'm mid as well so I'm not bragging about my looks.
Honestly I just wanted peace and settle down not this headache.
I don't think marriage is for me anymore.

>>33299921
>She isn't being logical about it and blaming it on her hormones and her urge to be a mom.

She sounds logical to me and I'm a man telling you this. She wants kids, because her body's hormones are screaming to her that her fertility has an expiry date. That's logical.

>She won't have sex with me only on her fertile days.
So she does want sex with you, but you sometimes don't feel in the mood for it on those days. And she won't wanna fuck on the days you are horny because she ain't ovulating at that time. Makes sense to me so far. She wants you to save your sperm for those days. Saving up sperm increases chances of pregnancy for her.

>She even accused me of being gay or having a side chick

Tell her to knock that shit off and that you won't cooperate sexually until she stops. Put your foot down, hard.

Do you spend your sex drive anywhere else? Porn or rapping?

>>33300272
>Saving up sperm increases chances of pregnancy for her.
That's not how it works.
Fertility window is female exclusive thing, men are fertile all the time.
Are you LARPing?
>Do you spend your sex drive anywhere else? Porn or rapping?
And no.
The constant stress and fighting really take a toll on my sex drive.

>>33299921
>I don't think marriage is for me anymore.
dump her and enjoy the single life for a while. maybe you'll meet a woman worth marrying again? who knows.

>>33300324
I don't know man, We've been together for like 5 years now.
And I'm emotionally drained to go through something like divorce at the moment.
I don't have psychological or emotional support for this shit.
My mother is sick and I'm stressed about that going through a divorce is too much to handle for me.
Deep down I think she choose this moment to make the problem bigger and have her parents talk with me or something.

>>33300307
>Fertility window is female exclusive thing, men are fertile all the time.

Men are not fertile. Men are virile. And yes there are things we need to consider as men to be as virile as possible. Everything from diet, exercise and what we do with our sperm. Sperm can be affected in their morphology and motility and DNA structures. Which means if we have shit sperm we will find it hard to impregnate women. And if the new woman already has fertility issues, virility issues makes it harder. So it goes from x2 harder to impregnate to x4 more harder.

>The constant stress and fighting really takes a toll on my sex drive.

Is it just this issue you fight about?

>>33300349
>New woman
And if the woman*

>>33299921
>For starters, she won't have sex with me only on her fertile days, something I don't exactly agree on because I can't really make sure to be available on those days.

This makes me suspect that she will have zero sex with you after a kid or two.

>>33299881 (OP)
She has probably read books or watched crap about getting pregnant and is acting like a retard and listening to “the science” which is complete garbage. Doing stupid shit like saving up your sperm, not wanting you to fap, not wanting to fuck on certain days. The more jizz you put in her, the more likely she is to be pregnant. The best time is whenever there’s time.

>>33300349
>Men are virile
Yeah, my point is it's something no limited in a time window like how a women have.
Many factors effect it for sure, but not like I'm virile now but not tomorrow.
>Is it just this issue you fight about?
Sadly no, there is ongoing situation about my jobs and hers, with unknown future.
My mom's health.
Also the constant discord between me and her, she wants to go for IVFs straight away while I'm not really keen on the idea, and prefer to go about it the old fashion way, since 1. it cost a lot of money, 2. the fertility tests were normal for both of us
I suggested marriage consoling for her but she refused and wants to go to fertility clinic instead.
>>33300359
Lowkey I feel that as well.
She wasn't exactly high libido in the early years of marriage but I didn't mind that really.
I fear if we had a kid I'd be locked in dead marriage with kids.
>>33300384
She most likely saw this or something like it.
I DO want kids, just not a rushed and forced way like this.
>>33299881 (OP)
>Now I got a call from her father telling me to come and discuss the situation with him
What do I say?

>>33300402
>Also the constant discord between me and her, she wants to go for IVFs straight away while I'm not really keen on the idea, and prefer to go about it the old fashion way, since 1. it cost a lot of money, 2. the fertility tests were normal for both of us

Yeah I agree with your stance. IVF is a dumb idea and not necessary. Even the most severe fertility cases, like women with polycystic ovaries, can have kids without IVF using the right supplements and medicinal boosters. It's how I got my wife pregnant. She just popped some Vitamins, some folic acid, and doctor prescribed metformin to boost fertility and it worked. Pregnant on the first try, despite her Ovulation hormones reading low on piss tests.

You need to stop caring what your wife thinks. I am serious, man. Women don't want you to care what they think. They admit it themselves lol.

https://www.drpsychmom.com/stop-caring-so-much-about-what-your-wife-thinks/

The longer you argue about it the longer she keeps arguing about it. You are the man, the leader. You end arguments you don't continue them. Every time she brings up IVF or stupid shit you tell her "No, we're not doing that at all. We already been over this." If she keeps going just tell her it's final, it's decided, it's this way or no way at all. Be firm but don't be abusive. Don't be a pushover either.

Trust me it works

>>33300409
>The longer you argue about it the longer she keeps arguing about it. You are the man, the leader. You end arguments you don't continue them. Every time she brings up IVF or stupid shit you tell her "No, we're not doing that at all. We already been over this." If she keeps going just tell her it's final, it's decided, it's this way or no way at all. Be firm but don't be abusive. Don't be a pushover either.
Which was my stance, I didn't agree on what she wanted.
So she left to her parents house, and now her father wants a word with me.
Which I feel is a start of a divorce, I know she's daddy's little princess so I think she thinks her parents would persuade me or face an ultimatum of divorce.

>>33300344
whatever you choose to do, don't get her pregnant right now. fix all shit shit first

>>33300438
Obviously.
So what do I deal with her parents now?

>>33300434
>So she left to her parents house, and now her father wants a word with me.

Yeah that part I think is really fucked up. She's your wife. Kid or not, husband + wife = family. Your family. Legally, socially, morally too if that's your thing. You and your woman shouldn't outsource marital issues to people outside of your family.

Her old family is old family. Still family, but this is your new family with her. If she intends on growing that new family with you, her husband, she needs to keep decision making between you and her alone.

It's one thing to run to daddy for advice. Another to have him dictate rules for your marriage. You married her, not her dad. She can fuck off with that.

>>33300450
>You and your woman shouldn't outsource marital issues to people outside of your family.
Yeah, she was against marriage consulting because she didn't want a stranger into our life but she'd rather have her parents involved?
I don't really know how other families work desu, my father was a stoic person that worked two jobs until his retirement and died after it shortly.
So I don't know what to expect from this.
Does she think her father have some authority on me or something?
I really don't know, I think she's overly attached to her family and don't see me as hers.

>>33299881 (OP)
Just put peepee in vagina and make your peepee sneeze. The more and louder your peepee sneezes inside the vagina, the more likely it is for the stork to come and drop a baby for you.

Also is the father going to try to teach you to fuck properly, or why the call for a meet up? lmao

>>33299921
>For starters, she won't have sex with me only on her fertile days

Fuck women man..

>>33300504
>Wants to get pregnant
>Refuses sex
Women are genuinely retarded, it's unbelievable.

>>33300482
>Yeah, she was against marriage consulting because she didn't want a stranger into our life but she'd rather have her parents involved?

Its because she knows and trusts him. Counsellors are strangers. She probably worries what they’d have to say, particularly about her share of issues. She relies on Dad because Dad probably doesnt challenge her on her issues

>Does she think her father have some authority over me or something?

Sort of. She’s a woman. Women, all of them, do this thing when facing a problem - they run to the problem solver. It’s almost always a man. She ran to daddy to slay her fears or problems as a kid. She still runs to him today.

What women should do if they're mature is ideally attempt to solver their own problems. If they cannot, at least run to the husband to solver it for her. That's what we are built to do, mentally. Its why we are problem solvers naturally.

She thinks her Dad will convince you into handling it his way. This means you will be doing it HER way. Cuz her way is dad’s way. Dad raised her, after all.

Trouble is, her dad is presumably a weak father type. That isnt to say a bad man or bad dad, but still a weak one. Weak doting fathers who coddle their kids and never challenge them or discipline them end up raising what your wife behaves like.


If you inherited your dad’s stoicism and hard ass mindset, good news is you will win over her dad. Her dad will roll over. You dont have to worry much

>>33300495
Can't tell if you're being sarcastic or actually dumb or both.
>>33300516
>She relies on Dad because Dad probably doesnt challenge her on her issues
Yeah I can understand that.
The thing is, facing your own issues is the first way to solve it, isn't it?
>weak father type
Maybe, if so shouldn't she see me as better option?
>If you inherited your dad’s stoicism and hard ass mindset
I did, and many people tell me it's a bad thing.

>>33299921
>accused me of being gay because I couldn't impregnate her
huh? and have you guys been screened for fertility issues?

>>33299881 (OP)
>fighting over just trying to get pregnant
>surely having a child will be no problem
anon, you're in for a bad time

>>33300532
You try'n tell me peepee in vagene is not how bebes are made? :0

>>33300535
>screened for fertility issues
Yeah, nothing was wrong
She blurt things like this when she's angry and fighting with me.

>>33300532
>Yeah I can understand that.
>The thing is, facing your own issues is the first way to solve it, isn't it?

Nah. Facing issues is just facing issues. Acknowledgement of a problem is nice, its a start, but you can acknowledge it all day and nothing changes. Eventually the question should be: “Now what can I do about it?”. That's where men come in. Because women default to “I can go to a man about it. My parents. An authority figure”. Lol. Thats how women handle their shit, they have someone else help them handle it. Its just what it is.

Anyway your wife is acting in emotion (again, a woman thing). She wants kids, she also feels shit she is struggling with fertility. She wants the problem solved. (you) can’t solve it for her, yku can’t magically make her womb more fertile. She knows this and wants to run to the doctor to solve it. She doesnt believe her husband can solve it.

But actually, you can. And you were right the first time. Having more sex helps, obviously. But what you and her may not know is that having sex outside of fertility days, does in fact, boost her overall fertility.

Semen contains prostaglandins, which boosts the shit out of her fertility. Also makes her ovulation hormones more stable. Means her body will actually make eggs at the right times.

She needs to understand that. She is too emotionally focused on succeeding during fertility windows. Having sex outside the window actually makes the fertility windows more potent and successful long term, the more you bust in her raw.

>>33300589
>having sex outside of fertility days, does in fact, boost her overall fertility.
Which is what I want, and she doesn't want that.
And being irrational about it in seeking IVF and IUI, WITHOUT sex.

>>33300602
Right. And this is the tricky impasse. You want more sex to boost her fertility, she wants sex only on ovulation days. So it means she wants less sex overall, and wants it on days you possibly wont want it.

Know why you won't want it? Cuz it's forced. Its scheduled. It's turned into a chore. Same is true if you tell her you gotta have sex more to increase the odds. Even if its a true statement, still wont work.

Cuz its turning sex into a chore, a slog, a tool to solve the issue. Thats a shit premise for sex, lets be real. For you and for her. Sex should come out of fun, out of enjoyment, out of feeling good and connected and close to each other.

I think maybe you and her should put a pause on discussing sex, babies, pregnancy etc. Still keep the goal, but don't bring any of it up anymore. Instead just go and do something together. Vacation, or a day trip, or a walk in the park, go see a movie, go out to eat at a cozy restaurant, go check out new stores that opened up in your area, go to the zoo, anything man lol.

What this does is force a bond. Even if you dont have fun kr she doesn't have fun, doesnt matter if you gotta force those bonding trips. Bond still happens in the back of your heads. This then makes you likelier to fuck without even discussing it or initiating it. You lay down and your hand wanders onto her body and before you know it you’re fucking.

Then you’ll get into the groove of it and she’ll be pregnant before you know.

>>33299881 (OP)
Psychological issues. If your wife really was into you and genuinely wanted a child, you'd be fucking like rabbits and have a baby in no time. It's her mindset that affects her hormones and behaviour which essentially leads to problems conceiving.
Anyhow, I don't know about the detailed circumstances, but I would be careful and probably start questioning the marriage

>>33299881 (OP)
What's your dick size, OP?

>>33300641
>turning sex into a chore
Pretty much, and I did point out that to her.
But she's more concerned about getting pregnant than listening to me.
I suggested most if your ideas, she thinks it wasting valuable time of her life that she could be pregnant instead, which really hurt me.
>>33300653
>Anyhow, I don't know about the detailed circumstances, but I would be careful and probably start questioning the marriage
I'm thinking so as well.
But what good would come out of divorce for her?
>>33300656
Bigger than yours.

>>33299881 (OP)
I never understood how people like you get to marry
Were you forced into an arranged marriage in this day and age?
Like, this kind of shit is like finding out your partner has blue skin only after marriage, how the fuck did you get that far

>>33299881 (OP)
For god's sake don't go and talk about it. It might actually accomplish something!

>>33300659
>Divorce
Nothing right now, but once she gets pregnant and births a child, she can file for alimony.

>>33300665
This. Lmao

>>33300659
>Bigger than yours
[X] doubt.
Mine would have penetrated the wife's cervix and shot a hot load all over a long time ago.

>>33300659
>I suggested most if your ideas, she thinks it wasting valuable time of her life that she could be pregnant instead, which really hurt me.

Damn. Yeah either your wife is ice-cold and heartless, or she is impulsive as fuck in her speech and doesnt have any filter. Even in the former case, if she really is self-interested, then she’d be stupid not to listen to your suggestions since it’d make you more likely to fuck her = she gets pregnant quicker lol.

But again, do not let the woman have the last decision. The buck stops with you, always. If you let a woman do all of the decision-making, she ends up fucking things up, like she is doing now.

That means, don’t ‘suggest’ the ideas. Just go and do them. Example, next time you see her, what you do is you get your coat, and her coat. You hand her her coat and tell her to get ready, you’re going out to (wherever you decided to go). You dont suggest it or ask if she wants it, you just bluntly and directly take her by the hand and go somewhere. Its that simple bro.

Remember, if you ask her if she wants it, or suggest it, she WILL do the woman shit: indecisiveness.

Think of how many times she complained of hunger, and how many times you suggested a place to eat or a food to eat. Remember how she’d say no to every suggestion? And then say ‘i dont know’ when you ask her what she wants?

Woman do this for every single decision making process not just food. For dates, for plans of action, family decisions, everything.

So stop asking her for her opinion, dont suggest things, tell her things. Tell her whats gonna happen and then make it happen.

>>33300665
Women are good imitators.
They can hide serious facts from you, and the idea of pussy make men dump.

>>33300659
Why can’t you just state your dick size on the internet? Mine’s like one of those little gherkin pickles. So what?

>>33300686
>Just go and do them
Yeah that what I was doing.
Didn't want to follow through with my plans.
She has this mind set "it's either her way or no way."

OP, how hot is she that you still have sex with her after all this circus? From what you've wrote here I don't see what her appeal is.