My father has left me 3 months ago. I have major depression and anxiety. Things just go worse and worse. I feel like my grief is eternal. I am still mourning the death of my dog that passed away like 5 years ago. I cant really accept my father is gone by now. I kept remembering him, wanting him here. I am really stuck at life. I have a gf and friends that love me, but I feel like a drag to all of them. A burden. Its not worth having me in their lifes. I only demand things from them and have nothing to offer back. I feel like I am shaped out of only pain. I once liked myself, before getting this mentally ill and losing people I loved. I miss this version of me, but its long gone. My whole life is a mess. I cant stand looking at the mess that is my room. I really love my things (mainly my vidya collection) yet I cant find strength even to play anything anymore. The whole world lost its color. I just ramble around, even my thoughts dont make much sense. Thanks to whoever read this shit.