Remind yourself of the facts and only act based on them, and not on the emotions they make you feel?

To keep a long story short: I unintentionally upset someone and they used the opportunity to guilt trip me to hell and make me feel like the most pathetic person ever. They even found someone else and tried rubbing it in my face.

I'm not a bitter person but this has been exceptionally taxing. Luckily, I'm so self-aware, I sense what emotions arise in me and I don't let them control me. But I still feel bitter and resentful.

But just now I had a realization. With narcissistic family members and their games, I typically think back to the last positive emotion they made me feel, before the games. If my sister caused me bitterness with her irrational behavior, I remember that one moment when we last spoke normally, and I acted based on that memory. For example: she walked into my room one day in a rage and "accidentally" (intentionally) shut off my computer because she was looking for something very important to her. Instead of being upset, I remembered the day before when we were cool, and instead of going crazy I calmly asked if she was looking for her dildo.

She laughed, I took control, I won and went back to my game.

Just now I remember this tactic and I thought about applying it to this girl too. Our entire story started from that moment when I unintentionally upset her. I felt guilt. Next time I see her, instead of being bitter and resentful, if I think back to the feeling of guilt, I can imagine myself mumbling an apology to her. Suddenly, I feel in control again.

I imagined doing this and all the bitterness went away, despite all her games afterwards.

/adv/, I want to ask, is this a proven method for dealing with narcissists? Did I stumble upon something that is known by the experts here?

>>33307890 (OP)
i think i have come to a similar conclusion on how to approach this. at least with coworkers who try to pull the alpha narcissist power games i just burst out laughing at the absurdity of what they say instead of getting mad about it, and it causes their brain to malfunction a little

>>33307890 (OP)
To emphasize how powerful this is:

I unintentionally upset someone and felt bad. They used the opportunity to "annihilate me". Replacing me, ruining my reputation, ridiculing me in public, disproportional but merely a narcissist attempt at controlling the narrative. Their behavior makes me feel resentful and bitter but if I think back to the initial moment of guilt, and I focus on that, which is what my actual problem is because everything else is just a crazy person going ballistic, instead of going through all the bad shit they did to ME, I am actually inclined to apologize to them, and it makes me feel good.

So person A hurts person B. Person B takes everything Person A has and burns it, and pisses on their face, and tried to bully their kids. Person A walks up to Person B and calmly apologizes to them, and then deals with their actions bad behavior afterwards.

Does it make sense? It is empowering and I don't know if it's confirmed as a legitimate way to deal with these people.

>>33307896
Exactly. And taking it to the next level, think back to the last moment with them when you were in charge.

Coworker acts alpha? Think back to that time when you saw them slip on ice, looking retarded. Now he talks alpha? You just laugh and calmly come up with a witty reply. It gives you the sharpness to act in realtime.

>>33307890 (OP)
>To keep a long story short
>launches into a long story.

tldr

>>33307949
Story was one sentence. The rest is example and more meat to the question.

>Person A upsets Person B
>Person B discards Person A and proceeds to ruin their reputation, replacing them quickly, trying to make them jealous and smearing them behind their back
>Person A can become resentful due to the disproportionate response, or he can maintain his calm, remember the facts and actually act on them, ego aside

Example: You forget your GFs birthday, she proceeds to sext your friend and tell you to not be jealous. You are confused, hurt. She dumps you for him because she never really liked you anyway. She proceeds to try ruining your life.

You can become incredibly bitter over losing your friend and gf, and spend the rest of your life asking what about you caused her to treat you this bad. People spend years coping with emotional hurt. Or, with this strategy as the storm is happening, you can take a breather and act based solely on the facts: you missed her birthday. Is your friend texting you a video of them smashing? Remember the guilt you felt for forgetting her birthday... Response to the video: "Was us when I remembered her birthday, baka" and then block. Composure kept. Did not ply their game. Took control. Kept your dignity. Saved you all the time and cope in the world. And they are now left with a witty response to their pathetic game. What are they going to do? Keep fucking and trying to make someone who doesn't care jealous? They lost. They cringe. You won. You move on.

This works