Imagine you were suicidal since you feel like a burden because you have been unable to get a good job for two years while recovering from severe health issues. Now that your health is better, you want to get a better job but have to wait 2 months because your work schedule has to align with another important schedule that you can't sacrifice. The wait is unbearable because you are extremely suicidal about your situation. You are not in financial stress because you have savings and a support network but you can't help how suicidal you feel anyway and your self-esteem is currently non existent. What do you do?

kill a politician THEN suicide.

>>33307906
I laughed. Thank you.

If you're quitting your job in two months anyway and you don't need the money, why give a shit? Quit or half-ass it, and spend the two months more focused on getting yourself lined up and ready for that better job. And ask someone in your support network to give you a hug.

>>33307903 (OP)
Why would you be suicidal in the first place?
As far as I understand it most people that are suicidal and actually go through with it feel like they have no way out.
However, in your situation it seems like there is a way out. You just don't want to wait.
Is there something missing in this analysis?

>>33308213
I tried to kill myself when I was 17 because I was sick and thought I would never be able to finish my studies and get a job and would become a burden. That feeling of being a burden is now back and that makes me extremely suicidal (it's very hard to tolerate it for 2 more months). I'm also afraid my situation won't actually improve because I'm afraid of failing at getting and keeping a better job or of getting sick again. I'm not sure why I feel suicidal, I just know I do. I know it's confusing, it's not logical. I'm sorry.

>>33308233
That previous suicide attempt was 11 years ago, just to clarify. The situation was somehow similar. I think this is triggering past trauma. I just rather die than become a burden.

>>33308233
No it does make much more sense now. Also it isn't logical. But guess what. Suicide isn't logical.

It sounds more like you need to change the way in which you view things. If that makes sense. Like you feel like a burden. How so?

>>33308259
I am not making enough money to feel independent right now and haven't been for the past two years since I got sick because I had to quit a stable job to do only temporary work. I feel like a burden to my family. I have been using my savings but my family always tries to help a lot, especially with paying my treatments and I feel so ashamed but I can't refuse otherwise I wouldn't get treated. I just want a stable job with an income I can be proud of again but I'm so afraid I won't be able to find it or keep it. I'm terrified of getting sicker too. I don't want to become useless and a burden to everyone around me.

>>33308290
I completely understand. That really does suck and I'm sorry you are going through it. My advice is that you don't just need to provide money to your family to support them. You can do other things (i.e. work around the house). Those things will show that you are still helping which should show you that you aren't a burden. Which you aren't.

>I just want a stable job with an income I can be proud of again but I'm so afraid I won't be able to find it or keep it.
Also know this, we are all scared of that. You aren't alone. It will be better.

I know there isn't some magic bullet that can fix this shit. Just be honest with those around you about how you feel. Good luck anon. You will succeed I believe in you.

>>33307903 (OP)
Sorry. I can't imagine any of that