what's the point of living if you don't have talent? you're a superfluous body. everybody else subsidizes your existence but at the same time tortures you with their scorn and social marginalization. people look at you like how i look at chris chan, "oh shit, could that have been me?". i used to cope with existentialist philosophy, that nothing *really* matters, but i've come to realize i was adopting a surface-level formulation of that philosophy to try to bring everybody else down to my level and justify laziness instead of admitting that in all ways that matter i'm genetic trash. all my efforts are forced and unnatural. if your life is lived spontaneously then you aren't living your own life, instead you're superficially mimicking the attitudes and behaviors of others to get by like a chameleon. only good at following order. at best you're servile and neurotically self aware, but too unintelligent to understand that the neurosis is too a trained compulsion and not some higher form of reflection that might lead to your ascension. no potential. stuck in an ugly mind forever

i meant
>if your life is **NOT** lived spontaneously then you aren't living your own life
and it's true of course. most of your thinking, feelings, and behaviors are automatic. the most important decisions are made in a split second, all the deliberation afterwards is usually just delaying the impulse.

>>33312350 (OP)
>everybody else subsidizes your existence but at the same time tortures you with their scorn and social marginalization. people look at you like how i look at chris chan, "oh shit, could that have been me?
There's your answer. We are all God's device, and we must play our part.

>>33312363
actually you get filtered out of existence based on arbitrary genetics, and by believing in God all you have to look forward to is death. your true god is the bell curve.

>>33312368
I can smell your cope.

>>33312379
it doesn't matter when we're in a system that by design worships the genetics of individuals. the weak and useless have suffered under every form of social organization ever

>>33312384
>we're in a system that by design worships the genetics of individuals
An instinctual system. One beautifully designed by our Lord. Your resentment lies in your denial of fate. Have faith, and fate will discover you as you will it. Praise the Lord!

>>33312350 (OP)
>if I'm not the best then should I kms?
Stop posting this crap.

>>33312394
Fate discovers you no matter what. Delaying fate leaves you in an aimless limbo, but sometimes it is better to remain there and die wondering "what if". Much better than learning you never had any potential at all. Trying only means failure, and failure only means you've found one more thing you suck at it. Life is about slowly learning how useless you are unless you were blessed with talent, health, love, etc. But all comes down to talent.

>>33312398
Can you even answer the question?

>>33312350 (OP)
You continue to live because you're a pussy who can't kill themselves

>>33312404
>Delaying fate leaves you in an aimless limbo, but sometimes it is better to remain there and die wondering "what if".
Perhaps that is your fate. Your denial has no effect on the out come, it only fuels your resentment. Accept God in your heart, and you will accept your fate with a smile. His plans are beyond you and I. Praise the Lord!

>>33312423
i only live because i narcissistically believe there's some hidden potential inside me still
maybe in a few years once i realize my mind/body aren't worth preserving i'll turn to drugs and eventually suicide but for now i'm delusional and mercurial, producing outburst threads like this

>>33312428
No you're alive because you're a pussy who is afraid of death just like everyone else, to deny this is true narcissism

>>33312447
i should've killed myself 5 years ago when everybody still thought i had potential. one of my art teachers told me to become a great composer, now robots can make music and i've never finished a song. she eventually started looking at me with the mixture of pity and scorn i was talking about. if you're quiet everybody assumes you're smart.

>>33312350 (OP)
i dont have any advice but i feel the exact same way
i cant draw, i suck at music, everything i try really
cute deer btw

>>33312457
If you make art solely for validation then you're not an artist, just a faggot

>>33312508
so either i want validation and get it because i'm talented, and maybe later on i won't want it, or i'm talentless and don't get any validation regardless... living with yourself is just a cope for people who couldn't live for others because their goods and services were unwanted

there's this guy on tiktok selling milk in a can, not exceptional looking but well groomed
i've been kind of watching and i think it's stupid but he has been trying for like 4 months to just sell canned milk

his channel is all about him selling canned milk he just talks about selling milk in a can
i used to skip it because like who cares but at this point his raw persistence intrigues and inspires me

finally, after months of passively watching his journey i thought maybe alright i'll buy some just because it seems virtuous but it was like 20 dollars for six little cans so naturally i was like fuck that BUT he has sold HUNDREDS of BUNDLES of cans of milk and there are even people posting reviews of his canned milk and he is scheming to go on shark tank

it's like literally who cares about fuckin expensive ass canned milk that's not even new or interesting BUT persistence is beginning to prevail, i've seen it second hand

>>33312533
being alive is a cope for inevitable death

>>33312575
Being alive is a default state. It's easier to float along.

Kill yourself, not even finishing reading that. Lazy worthless fuck

Update: been awake for 30 minutes but day is already ruined because I came across an article of some math prodigy Putnam fellow, while the best anyone at my university could do was around a 10. You can only feel fulfilled in high skill ceiling activities but unless you have talent all they can bring you is shame. Your best hope is to pretend nobody beyond your immediate surroundings exists (doesn't work if you're not even talented enough to be the best among the yokels) or be like me and delude yourself into thinking that with enough work you'll uncover your hidden potential that makes you a genius (miner meme or self help grift!)
>>33314289
>lalalala I can't hear year you life is good hard work pays off we're all gonna make it hahaha

>>33314403
I'll kill myself if you can reconcile the paradox that comparison is the thief of joy but still necessary to feel joy from improvement in the first place

>>33314403
you know you're wrong so you lash out as others how you secretly abuse yourself. your worldview is a facade, quickly constructed day to day and just strong enough to withstand the looming suicidal fantasies. this results in a fragmented, permanently provisional self, leaving you in an emotional purgatory in which you will never feel happy or fulfilled. it's okay, anon. maybe if you stop being so defensive we will work through this together <3... oh my is this what hope feels like :OOO

>>33312540
i have no interest in being a buffoon salesman
the point of talent is that people are more patient with you and have a higher baseline for respect so you don't need to resort to being an sycophantic clown that people keep around as an emotional relief pet

>>33312350 (OP)
You are competent to cope with the challenges of life and you are worthy of happiness.
"Six Pillars of Self Esteem" - Nathaniel Branden

>>33314869
being worthy of something doesn't mean you get it
everybody is worthy, or even deserves, things we never get
>competent to cope
you have no choice but to cope unless you want to kill yourself, so coping is a natural psychological defense mechanism everybody is incredibly competent at. this isn't helpful

>>33314887
actually to correct myself, being suicidal is its own coping mechanism, so everybody except those who choose to kill themselves are skilled at coping. suicide itself is a final retreat

>>33312350 (OP)
Join the ranks of the beta uprising that I'm preparating. There's no way to win playing a rigged game by the rules if you are genetically inferior, all you can do is bring other people down with you and get your revenge.

>>33314842
>the point of talent is that people are more patient with you and have a higher baseline for respect

you are conflating talented with successful which is why i went through the effort of posting my story

>>33312350 (OP)
Accept Jesus into your heart!

>>33314985
lol a "beta" can't rise up otherwise they wouldn't be a beta. people figured that out back in 2014 after elliot rodger failed because he couldn't get past a locked door.

>>33314996
talent manifests itself
success by your definition is about social manipulation which is a talent of its own

>>33312350 (OP)
There really is none. Its hell for the talented. The talentless should be removed from the earth, but if that isn't possible then they should at least be forced to serve as Serfs for the actually talented, this is kind of the case now but it's not overt enough. There needs to be a two class society, the haves and the have nots

>>33315030
the talented need the talentless otherwise their talent would be meaningless. we need to suffer exclusion and sadness to experience love and joy, otherwise we would exist in some kind of nothing state that is equivalent to death. you can't have your cake and eat it too with wanting to rid yourself of all the characteristics of a living person and still live
i think this is what buddhism and evangelion are about

>>33314985
least obvious glowie
i was going to pretend to be interested just to string you along but it's not even worth it

>>33312462
yeah if it weren't for deltarune anticipation i would've killed myself already