Title. I’ve been talking to a girl for about a month, and she was obviously interested in me. We planned many dates out, talked on call, sent Instagram reels to each other, etc.

We went on our first date on Monday, and it went well. She broke the touch barrier with me, and even hinted that we should go to the beach together in the future. However, at the end of the night I gave her a hug after walking her to her car, and I tried to hold her hand but she pulled away. She texted me when she got home saying she got home safe, and we talked a little more the next few days. However after I suggested another date, she told me she would rather be friends.

I’m genuinely confused, as she did try to touch my hand earlier in the date, and she broke the touch barrier by grabbing my arm a few times, but she seemed to lose interest by the end of the date.

I’m not sure where I went wrong, but is there any way of saving this? I genuinely really liked this girl a lot, and I think I messed up by not looking my best during the date (mainly I had a mustache, but I decided to shave it after since I figured that may have been a reason she didn’t seem interested in me anymore)

I’m thinking of giving her a week and maybe reaching out to her again and explaining I was a bit distracted during our date and may have not given off a good first impression, and asking if she would like to try again. Thoughts? I would do anything to get another chance with her again.

>>33313611 (OP)
She decided over the course of the date that she wasn't attracted to you. It's impossible to say why, but given only the context you've provided, it's possible your fear of making a move may have been a reason. Charge it to the game and move onto the next one. Putting this girl on a pedestal won't make her like you, but it will make you lose self-respect.

>>33313621
But i genuinely really liked this girl alot, and i really don’t want to give up on her. The reason why i didn’t make a move was because she was giving me mixed signals. When we sat together and our legs touched, she pulled her leg away, which usually never happens on a date when me and the girl are attracted to each other. In fact, this was the first date I’ve been on where the girl pulled her leg back, yet she still broke the touch barrier with me a few times after that, so it left me confused.

I don’t plan on begging her to come back or anything, I just wanted to explain that I enjoyed our time together alot, and I had alot going on that day so I may have not put my best foot forward. I would say I respect her decision if she declines, but I would rather try to go out again sometime and see if the chemistry is there, as I believe we have a lot in common and I genuinely enjoy spending time with her.

Is there literally anything I can do at this point? I don’t want to sound stupid but she and I had so many similarities and she had so many qualities I looked for in a girl, and I don’t want to give up on things that easily

>>33313640
>she was giving me mixed signals
A piece of advice that will take you far: Typically, if a girl likes you, she will not give you mixed signals.
I get that it's hard to move on dude, but you have to realize that she's not the only girl you'll ever meet. The fact that she actively took the time to friend zone you means she's aware of your feelings and was politely rejecting you. You can convince yourself that a some kind of grand romantic gesture will turn the tables in your favor, but I'm willing to bet money that it won't change the outcome. If she likes you, she will make it easy for you (unless she is severely mentally ill or cluster-B which is a completely different conversation).
If you need help moving on, obviously meeting someone else will help, but something that may be more immediately helpful is to stay active and picture he taking the biggest, nastiest shit imaginable.

>>33313662
Well I’m NGL, I’m pretty sure she wears a little “different”. She’s like one of those artsy, goth girls who’s really into magic/witchcraft, so I wouldn’t particularly say she’s “normal”. The main reason why I really like her was because she dosent use Snapchat (a huge green flag for me), is really into drawing/writing (as I am), and is genuinely just really sweet and soft spoken.

Unfortunately it’s not easy for me to just find another girl as I’m kind of ugly and don’t get many matches or chances with girls. We had been talking for a month and I grew a bit attached to her because of how different she was to the other girls I’ve met on tinder, and we shared alot about each other and it just hurts me that she did a 180 on me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m ugly, or have a shitty personality or what, but I just don’t want to throw in the towel with her if there’s any chance I can make things right between us.

>>33313680
It sounds like the core of the issue here is your self-worth. Do you consider yourself a generally happy person or are you looking for a relationship to fill that hole and make you happy?

>>33313684
I can’t even lie, I do seek out a relationship to be happy because I feel so lonely. I have a couple of friends, but ever since me and my ex of four years broke up last year, I’ve been trying desperately to replace her. I did date a new girl for 5 months, but she ended up becoming a huge health nut and was obsessed with waking up early every day at 5 am for the gym, which didn’t align with my schedule (I enjoy going to the gym at night instead and I’m generally more of a night person), so things didn’t work out between us.

I guess I’m just still not over my ex completely, and I’ve just been trying to fill the void she left, because I miss having a girlfriend who I can go out to places and listen to music with and just do fun stuff with. I just feel like there’s something wrong with me or I’m less of a man because I don’t have a girlfriend. Im 26 and literally every single person I know has a girlfriend, so I feel left out or that I’m not good enough.

I know having a girlfriend shouldn’t be my priority, but I feel so depressed when I’m single that I get borderline suicidal. I just desperately want a loyal girlfriend that I can spend time with, but I can’t seem to get one no matter how hard I try.

I guess that’s why I’m struggling to move on from this one girl. I felt like I was so close to finally filling that void my ex left, and it just fell apart. And it really hurts.

>>33313611 (OP)
>Girl I really liked friend zoned me, is there any way to save this?
move on anon
41 yo here who wasted A LOT of time in their early 20s pursuing girls that friendzoned him
it's time wasted
nothing of value was learned during that period
only started growing up and having healthy relationships once i let those go
truly wasted time, i wish I went back in time and slapped myself.

>>33313736
The problem is I have no other alternative options. I hardly get matches on tinder, and if I do they always ghost me. I have like a 5% success rate and I usually never get a second date. This girl really liked me too, but I must’ve not looked good enough on our date. That’s why I’m hoping I can at least try to get one more date and really up my game to impress her. I’m not going to beg her to come back or anything, but surly it can’t hurt to at least talk to her and explain I wasn’t really feeling good that day and tell her I really enjoy spending time with her and to see if we can give it another shot, right?

Just wanna say I relate hard to all of this, anon. You’re not alone

>>33313827
What do I do? I’m so tired of being alone

>>33313611 (OP)
>is there any way of saving this?
No. There is nothing to save. You didn't mess up: she is simply not attracted to you. Accept that and move on.

>>33313909
I have no one to move on to. I must be ugly as fuck because I can never get a second date no matter what I do. It’s so incredibly rare if I’m even able to land a first date.

>>33313956
>I have no one to move on to.
And?

She is still not attracted to you, and you have no choice but to accept that reality.

>>33313956
>I must be ugly as fuck because I can never get a second date no matter what I do. It’s so incredibly rare if I’m even able to land a first date.
Speaking as someone who is, conventionally speaking, extremely unattractive, but who nonetheless has a body count in the 40s, I can assure you that looks are not your problem. If you are confident and funny you can look like Quasimodo and still get laid.

>>33314197
Wrong. No need to humble brag.

Bump

Bump

>>33313662
Totally agree with anon. If only men would accept this it would save them a lot of angst

>>33313743
Leave her alone. Don't text her. No contact. If there's chance for "another shot" she will reach out. Do not pursue, I repeat do not pursue. Search the next chick. Believe me. We've all benn there.

>>33319919
I mean can it really hurt that bad just reach out in a week or two and just say I really enjoy talking to her and that I’d like to give it another shot or something? I genuinely really liked this girl and I really don’t have any other girl to go to. I hardly ever get matches and she was really into me before our date. I don’t know what I did wrong

>>33313680
Pack it up anon. Maybe confess directly if you need closure and a hard rejection

>>33320047
So what did I do wrong? She was really into me before our date and then did a 180 after. Do you think she just rejects guys a lot or something? Did I do something wrong? Surly if she’s been in dating apps for awhile then she’s rejecting other guys than me right? I just don’t know what I did wrong. Should I just kms for being a failure?

>>33320083
i mean if you are even acting a quarter like this towards her then I can see why she didn't want you romantically.

>>33313611 (OP)
Did you make any sexual jokes or innuendos or did you just act like a good boy? Your mustache is not the problem, I guarantee you that.

As a man who has never been friendzoned in his life, a few sexual jokes will go a long way, anon. You have to be comfortable with your sexuality and put it out there. If she reacts badly to it, just tell her you're used to making jokes like that and if she doesn't like it you can stop, then move on. Even this is better than not saying it at all, because you are making it very clear that you are not timid or afraid of sexuality. Seriously. It's actually better to just say it and offend her then apologize than to not say it and risk her seeing you as too timid. Every time. So do that. On the first date. But do it naturally, after you've built rapport. Don't blurt it out. Timing is important.

>>33313640
The other anon is correct. If she has stated her feelings towards you, you need to respect what she's said. She is giving you more grace and respect than a lot of women, who would just ghost you. So she deserves you respecting her feelings in turn.

That said. Yes, you can hold out hope that she will change her mind. But the thing is, you will need to change your behavior/approach. She has already evaluated you and determined you aren't what she's looking for. Trying again with the same approach is not going to work. So try to move forward, work on yourself, try with other women. Even if your ultimate goal is to get this girl. Because I'm sorry to say, but you can't have her right now.

The good news is, you are actually close to having her. She agreed to go on a date with you. That means she opened the door to possibly sleeping with you. Give yourself some credit. You did well. Now you just need to work on yourself for a bit. Learn how to give yourself just a little more edge, and come back to her after a while. There is a good chance you can change her mind, but again, only after you make some tweaks.

Good luck anon.

>>33320083
Everyone fails at everything they try to get good at. Even the most talented people. Failure is a part of life, and part of the process of increasing skill. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing very well. Continue to learn and improve.

>>33320083
Just try to calm down man. I understand that your mind is racing looking for answers and it hurts. But this is just how it goes with dating women. If you want any chance with her at all,you need to cut off your emotional impulses before you start begging her like a desperate faggot which will ensure she will never give you another chance. Ive been on a lot of dates with women I really liked and the fact of the matter is that it simply just doesnt work out sometimes. Try your best to occupy yourself with something else. Time will make it easier.

>>33320083
you're annoying and overthinking

>>33320094
>>33320116
>>33320120
>>33320104
>>33320126
I don’t think I did anything bad. I wasn’t acting like absolutely desperate I was just showcasing interest in her. I let her talk the entire time and I talked about myself a little but I let her do most of the talking about herself and interests. I made her literally burst out laughing a few times to the point where people around us looked at her and she got shy. She texted me when she got home and that’s when I noticed she was being dry

The only reason why I’m finding out hope is because she told me after our date that she was being distant because she was sick because of her period and that she has a medical condition that is extremely painful to her. I happened to notice that she hid her Instagram story from me for the day and opened it back up after the day. I kind of view it as a double edge sword because she didn’t take the time to respond to me, but she still cared enough to hide her story and then unhide it afterwards.

Basically after all that I told her she seemed distant and that if she wasn’t interested in talking anymore she should just say so we don’t waste enough others time, and that’s when she said she thinks we’re better as friends. After that I told her I’m not interested in being friends and I told her to take care, and I unfollowed her on Instagram and removed her as a follower. In turn, she blocked me on discord, but kept my number saved and didn’t block me on Instagram.

I’m probably over thinking all of this but I just feel like I might still have a chance with her if I play my cards right? Maybe she wasn’t feeling good that day and that’s why she was acting different? I’m not sure how to proceed. Again, I didn’t do anything weird, and during the date she broke the touch barrier with me and even implied we should go to the pool in the future. I just don’t know what to think.

She was never attracted to you.
You are just a tool for her. You will never be any other thing to her.

You are a nice, dependable and useful male that it's not genetically fit to put your seed on her.

But you are very fortunate, want to learn why?

Because since you are ghosting her right now, you will never experience the martyrdom of hearing her telling you (with juicy details reserved to gay friends) how he fucked seven niggers in one night just for fun in her last trip.

>>33320302
Just believe what she tells you. She told you she was on her period and had a painful condition and you got needy and sperged out on her. That's the issue here. You should've just empathized and then let it rest. She's not your girlfriend and you went on one date, she doesn't owe you her full attention yet. You've demonstrated that you don't listen and you're too needy. So that's what you need to work on.

>>33320481
>he
Telling

>>33320302
Dont message her until you've had a lot of time to think about this. Youre hysterical right now. Just shut the fuck up

>>33320600
What should I say
>>33320528
I don’t think I was being needy. I don’t think it’s polite to ignore someone for 24 hours when the night before you were texting all night, and she didn’t tell me she wasn’t feeling good until after I said she seemed like she wasn’t interested in talking since it was two days and she sent me like two messages in total yet still posted on Instagram and looked at my story and shit

>>33320629
Dont say anything idiot. You are acting like a hysterical unhinged lunatic.

>>33320664
I’m not gonna message her for another week until I calm down. What should I say to her? I just really like this girl and I just broke up with my ex so I’m feeling extra lonely and I really felt like me and this new girl had chemistry.

>>33320988
>just broke up with my ex and feeling lonely
Kek, this chick dodged a bullet..

>>33321020
Nigga how?

>>33321025
Ignore him he's being cruel and spiteful and is lying.

>>33314254
>Wrong
Not wrong. I am speaking from personal experience.

>>33321038
Is there anything I can do to fix things?

>>33321207
Show up at her house with flowers and chocolates and beg her to go out with you again.

>>33321332
Way too creepy. I think I’ll just send her a text sometime next week and explain to her that I had some family issues going on that day and I may not have presented myself in the best manner, and was wondering if we could try to go out again if she’s free since I really enjoy our talks and since we’ve known each other and have been talking for over a month, I would at least try to go out one more time before cutting things off. I would also say I have never done this before with a girl but i genuinely really enjoy her company or something like that

>>33313611 (OP)
>However after I suggested another date, she told me she would rather be friends.

Don't even fucking talk to her anymore. If a woman you drop them instantly and don't even ignolage their existence.

>>33321346
Dude no. It's over. Literally you are setting yourself up for an ever worse heartbreak. If you didn't click and impress her on the first date explaining to her that you're shy and emotional is not going to win her over. Men are supposed to be stoic and confident no matter what fucking happens. You failed. There is no do overs or round 2. She does not care about your emotions or feelings. Leave.

>>33313611 (OP)
She doesn't want you. Get over it and move on. Oneitus will waste years and years of your life. Dont do it move on.

Plenty of fish in the sea

>>33313680
Doesn't use snapshot is a green flag? You don't even know her. Move on. She decided she doesn't want you. And nothing will change that. Unless you get rich and handsome tomorrow

>>33313736
This

>>33313956
You were attractive enough to land the date. After that you turned her off. Its nothing that can be controlled. She wanted to see if your personality would be enough and it wasn't.

>>33320083
Stop being obsessed and face the facts, emotion boy

>>33320481
Omg stfu

>>33313611 (OP)
Get another girl.

>>33313611 (OP)
It's ogre most likely. She didn't find you attractive enough irl, maybe you had some weird mannerisms or spilled too much spaghetti. Or maybe she just thought you were cuter in your pics.

Don't pursue her. If she reaches out try to setup a second date, but don't hold many hopes. Continue searching for more girls.

>>33313743
bro try to get girls IRL, tinder is too shallow, if you didn't make a good first impression the odds of that advancing any further are close to 0

>>33321376
>Men are supposed to be stoic and confident no matter what fucking happens.
Im the opposite of this lmao. Man. Its torture.

>>33322964
I can’t.
>>33323090
I’m too shy/nervous to approach girls IRL
>>33322929
Yes it’s definitely a green flag.
>>33322916
>plenty of fish in the sea

For normies yeah. Not for people like me

Bump

>>33321346
You’re wasting your time and energy. The only way it would be possible to salvage the situation you are in is if you two had met naturally and you actually have to make a conscious effort to avoid her in your life. Your connection is tinder. Not a mutual social circle. Not a location you both naturally frequent. You’re not going to randomly run into her. You aren’t part of her life and the harder you try to be the less she will respect you. It’s done man pack it up.

No, there is not. You need to get over her if you're going to remain friends.

>>33320038
>I mean can it really hurt that bad
Yes. The more you pursue the more you drive her away. The needyness is seeping from all cracks. You already offered yourself. The ball is clearly in her side. Don't text her. The more you talk, the more you open up the less she wants you. Just search out the next girl. If she wants you she WILL reach out. If she won't she does not really want you and no amount of talking or texting will convince her otherwise. You are planning to BEG her to give you the time of day. Imagine how pathetic that looks from her perspective.

Pretty much everyone ITT thinks it's best to move on, OP, and I'll lend my voice to say that they are all right, speaking from personal experience (that I learned of very recently the hard way).
You still seem pretty awestruck though and honestly, sometimes you have to make the stupid mistakes you are warned about before you truly learn.

>>33313611 (OP)
>I’m thinking of giving her a week and maybe reaching out to her again and explaining I was a bit distracted during our date and may have not given off a good first impression, and asking if she would like to try again. Thoughts? I would do anything to get another chance with her again.
Do not do this. Tell her that you're not looking for friendship, wish her well and move on. If there's even 1% chance that she'd give you another opportunity, it will be reduced to 0% if you begin simping and send her some gay shit like that, begging for another chance.

I know the feeling OP - I've been there - but you need to respect her decision (and yourself) rather than stoop so low as to beg for another chance.

Just wish her the best and move on.

OP here. You guys are right, I’m just going to cut my loses and leave her alone. It just sucks cause I really liked this girl and it sucks knowing I wasn’t good enough for her. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, whether I’m ugly, autistic, etc but I feel like I always fail with girls and idk why. They say not to put women on a pedestal but it’s hard not to when they seem to have these mind reading capabilities and can sniff out every single malfunction you have.

To change the topic of the post, how do I cope with being alone for the rest of my life? I’m thinking of just getting back into weed and alcohol to numb the pain

> thread 1010 about my peen not being touched
4chan really is pathetic. Life is more than women, retards.

>>33313712
This is why you aren't having any success. No (relatively) sane woman wants to be the condition for your entire happiness. Desperation is extremely unattractive, and if you think you need a relationship to be happy, that is going to put off any woman you try to get with. They can sense that shit. That's most likely why this girl did a 180 on you as well. Nothing to do with being physically ugly, everything to do with desperation being the biggest pussy repellant imaginable.
>>33314254
He's not humble-bragging, it's true.
>>33323493
>I can’t.
Yes you can
>I’m too shy/nervous to approach girls IRL
Just like anything else, you can grind at it until you're not. Your situation and you yourself will never improve if you stay in your comfort zone. Growth and comfort are mutually exclusive.
>For normies yeah. Not for people like me
No, for you as well. The problem is that you have to be willing to become the best version of yourself that you can be, as cliche as that sounds, it's true.
If you're actively working to improve yourself, women do pick up on this. As I mentioned earlier, they can feel vibes and smell desperation. If you're happy with yourself, you immediately become much more attractive.

>>33330019
>Life is more than women, retards.
Ironically, OP will not have success with women until he truly realizes this.

>>33329987
>To change the topic of the post, how do I cope with being alone for the rest of my life? I’m thinking of just getting back into weed and alcohol to numb the pain
Focus on self-improvement and learning how to be happy with yourself. If you do that, you will not be alone forever. That said, you WILL be alone forever if you forever refuse to improve yourself and continue to be a faggot defeatist.

>>33330426
>they can sense desperation

Bro what the fuck is up with these women and their fucking super power sixth sense? I’m not even fucking doing anything when talking to them like begging them to hang out or some shit. I literally just show interest in them and show that I enjoy talking to them. I’m not going to her fucking house at 12 am knocking on her window asking why she isn’t responding to my text. I swear to fucking god I do not understand this shit at all. No matter what I try I always come off as desperate for no fucking reason. How the fuck do I not come off as desperate? This shit is fucking pissing me off
>>33330435
Dude I know life isn’t all about women but it’s not my fault I feel fucking alone. I’m not going to work towards a future where I’m gonna be some fucking loser living in a one bedroom apartment by myself while everyone else I know has families and kids and a fucking wife. This is exactly what I’m just gonna quit fire fighting school because I don’t belong with these other people. They all have girlfriends/wives with side chicks they’re fucking on the side and a whole ass family meanwhile I’m going to be forever fucking alone. Fuck that shit bro. Telling me “life isn’t all about women” when our literal biological purpose is to fucking mate bro. Fuck this stupid ass Mickey Mouse shit I’m fucking done

>>33330515
Anon please don't quit on becoming a fireman just because you're alone. You'll get female attention just for being one.