It's currently the eve of my bd(early 30s) and I can't shake the torturous thought of my past fuckups.
>be me beetwen '16-'22 before 'rona
>got a job I liked
>got a gf for 8y, wanting to marry me, have kids, really showed her love for me daily, the whole 9 yards
>had a solid group of buddies
>healthy
And my shitty brain slowly sabotaged every good aspect of my life like a hellbound demon.
Now I'm all alone, my most loyal companion being the constant fear that it will never be as good as the past decade and that I have only myself to blaim.

I took one valium and one sleeping pill to at least get through this night. Unironically, a couple of beers at my local bar would make feel good, but I've gone teetotal for a couple of months now.

>>33316900 (OP)
1. I intend to live forever, or die in the attempt.
2. Given sufficient time, there are no insoluble problems.
3. One's attention is sovereign: You have absolute control over where to direct it, doing so makes you free, and it gets stronger with practice.

>>33316941
Sorry but you just wrote empty gobbledygook.

>>33316941
Until I think of a better name for my philosophy, I call it "Panglossian Nietzscheanism." Even suffering is a wonderful privilege, in this, "the best of all possible worlds."

>>33316951
>Sorry but you just wrote empty gobbledygook.
No need to be sorry. Maybe it will come to you later.

>>33316977
>Even suffering is a wonderful privilege
Of course this is true in theory.
One can only suffer if one is alive and it's generally considered that existing is better than not existing.

>>33316900 (OP)
>how do you deal with regrets of your own making?
I have done shit that would get me in jail booty raped for life if any of it was taken seriously in today’s world. Fortunately I would be tortured and die before you get that information out of me.
That being said, I live my life in pursuit of improvement, forgiveness, and treating myself like I know better— or knowing that I should do better with myself than indulging in demeaning things even if people around me think it’s cool or normal to invest and encourage their vices
I don’t hold grudges anymore. I think the only grudge I carry (and even then we’re on loose speaking terms) is towards a girl I loved that left me for someone else. BPDemon. Even still after all that pain I have let go, because if I can do that good with somebody, I can always do better. And I already have done better by getting the interest of better women for me