So my ex of about a week now has been very cordial, said that she still loves me, etc. and she said that I shouldn’t wait for her. I love her so much tho, I can’t help myself. We’ve grown to know and love each other for 12 years now. It’s hard to deny the feelings that we have for each other. She still has the “I said I love you first” background on our instagrams dms, we’re still sharing each other’s locations, and she didn’t ask for any of her stuff back (which she did when we got into a big argument and almost broke up a couple years ago). She even said she wants to keep the jewelry I gave her as a reminder of me. With all of this being said (I know I’m asking you to be a mind reader rn), is it possible she still wants me but she needs some time a part to focus on personal issues she’s dealing with? She told me that she’s going through a lot of mental stuff that she’s trying to figure out. I tried reaching out to her but she asked if we could wait a bit longer to start talking again and that she isn’t ready rn, so I said yes but godamn my life feels so incomplete without her.

>>33321967 (OP)
Stop talking to her for a while unless she contacts you first. Tell her it's everything or nothing. She doesn't get to keep you as a crutch while she recovers emotionally. You're worth more than that.

>>33321978
Yeah we’ve been no contact now after I reached and she said she needed more time, so I told her to reach back out when she’s ready. I’m not sure when that’ll be; if that’ll be when she’s better or when she’s gotten over me romantically, I’m not sure. She became too reliant on me as a crutch to help her sort out her issues so I hope she’s finding some way to cope so we can be together again. That’s what started the whole break up in the first place. She doesn’t hate me or have any critiques to make. She just wanted to not drag me into her mental issues and she didn’t want to be so reliant on me, which I understand. It’s not like I’m going anywhere, I genuinely love her with all my heart. I don’t watch porn, I don’t even think about other women when I see them when I leave my house, all I want is her. I think she recognized that but saw it as a weakness on her part to be reliant on me

>>33322020
You're doing the right thing. Don't stress about it, but anticipate her never calling back or being with someone else. Accept that this is a possibility, and you won't be as hurt. Whatever you do, don't beg.

>>33322217
Well, given everything that I detailed, what are the odds that she does reach back out? I’m not too worried about her reaching out, I have a good feeling she will but I’m more worried about what I should say when we meet up and talk. Should I ask her if she’s okay? Should I confess my love for her? She always chased after me and maybe it would “wake her up” if I chased her for once. You’re right tho, at the end of the day I shouldn’t anticipate anything and I should take this one day at a time

>>33322255
>what are the odds that she does reach back out?
You know her better than I do, anon. Chances are good from my experience, as most girls have tried to talk to me again after a breakup, even when they resoundingly dumped me.
>I’m more worried about what I should say when we meet up and talk
The same things you did when you were together. Tell her you love her, and that you always will, that she shouldn't feel guilty for relying on you because you rely on her just as much. Don't worry about chasing or not. If she wants to meet, it's because she's hoping you'll confirm that you still love her. Take it easy, and don't feel too bad, anon. I know she's special to you, and I know what it feels like to lose the love of your life, but you will recover, and you have a better chance than I do. That's what my gut instinct tells me.

>>33322276
>If she wants to meet, it's because she's hoping you'll confirm that you still love her
Would this be a good time to ask her out again? I guess it depends on what I can gauge before confessing my love to her but maybe some time apart was what she really needed; to know that she’s still a person and not just my partner? Maybe she doesn’t need to go to therapy and figure out all her problems before feeling comfortable opening up her heart again? I’m not sure

>>33322303
It might be. Play it by ear. Ideally, when she contacts you, you take her out somewhere, and that will make the old habits kick in. That being said, be firm. It's all or nothing. She either wants to be with you or she doesn't, and if she does you're right there in front of her. You need a decisive answer from her. Remember that.

>>33322310
Touché. I’m hoping that at the very least she’ll admit she wants to be with me. I can wait if I must. She’s a good girl, I’ve known her for half my life so she won’t be fooling around with other dudes while she works out her personal stuff but I want her to admit to me that she does want to be with me but just when she’s in a better place so she can love me to her fullest extent and not have to exhaust so much energy on fighting her demons

>>33321967 (OP)
"Ex" what? 12 years for a gf is a long time. Maybe she has the very sensible view that you should shit or get off the pot.

>>33322679
We've just known each other since we were 13. We went to the same middle school together and I had a little crush on her, then we became friends at 16, lost contact after high school but from 16 - 21 we were thinking of each other and then we reconnected when she saw me at community college and saw that I grew out my hair (something that she always said would look good on me), and she reached out to me and then a week later I asked her out, and after 4 years, here we are

>>33321967 (OP)
Its over duh. Move tf on stop torturing yourself

I just don’t get it. If it’s all due to a mental breakdown that she’s going through, wouldn’t she want to be surrounded by people she can trust? Depression is so interesting, people will cry for help but then push away anyone that comes near them. I wish I could be there for her but she doesn’t want me to and I guess I just have to live with that until she’s better or she moves on from me

bump. Does she still want me?

>>33324791
Bro, do you not remember the age old adage? If you love something let it go. If it comes back it loves you to.

>>33325461
Fair enough. I spoke to someone else who explained to me that people who are severely depressed will rely heavily on their loved ones to fill the void and not actually get better themselves. In order for them to get better, they need to be isolated, to sit with their own thoughts. I decided that I'm gonna do this - I'll let her go and when she reaches back out, I will confess my love for her and hope that her feelings for me have not changed

>>33323331
>If it’s all due to a mental breakdown that she’s going through, wouldn’t she want to be surrounded by people she can trust?
Don't try to to apply logical thought processes to a situation that by definition does not involve logical thought processes. You will only drive yourself crazy in the process.