I’ll start.
Had this friend from high school days, we were close.
I moved to college and the friendship kind of became one sided. He never checked on me or called. I always made the effort.
I came back home and him and some other mutual friends immediately crashed at my place.
But this time it was different, I felt like they were using me, for the first time I felt like a 3d wheel.
I call him out, one thing leads to next and we get into a fight, I call him a pedophilic freak based on some sources I heard from someone who claims they saw 8 year olds on his computer. That’s that, we stop talking for 6 years.
Since I was in college and these guys never moved out, I am guessing he spent all those years turning our mutual friends against me.
I greet one of my hs buddies and he blocks me. Most of the people I hanged out in hs now hate me because the leader of the pack, the guy I insulted had all this time to spread lies and gossips about me. I never wanted this bullshit. I feel betrayed because me and the pack leader were best friends at one point and now he turned a few of our mutual friends against me and it hurts.

Has happened to me, just a sudden disconnect from someone close like a good friend sucks. Idk what to do aboit it. I guess just crying and thinking about it is all you can do

>>33326397 (OP)
I went through something similar and it's really painful. You have to spend your free time on other things/busy your life, whether that's hobbies or finding new friends. You wouldn't want to be friends with a pedophile anyways or spineless enablers so consider this a win.

>>33326397 (OP)
Before I snapped there was much more. He disrespected me in front of my cousin. Maybe he was drunk but he showed resentment. Ok you want to use my place every week for your drunken friends but you won’t even call me when I am away? Fucking scum..

>>33326412
>You wouldn't want to be friends with a pedophile anyways or spineless enablers so consider this a win.
Real

>>33326397 (OP)
Best friends of mine since elementary school stopped paying rent on our apartment and squatted there after the lease was done. Left me with the tab for damages, multiple months unpaid rent and shit credit.

Never bothered to apologize to me or pay me back 10 years later. It still hurts. I don’t know why we couldn’t have just stayed friends.

There’s no real answer other than “get over it” … its what we all have to do. Time has helped but I still wonder what the point of all this was and the fact that my friendship was only worth 4 grand.

>>33326397 (OP)
Had a friend repeatedly hang me out to dry to go talk to women who usually didn't even like him. I would've been somewhat okay if he'd even try to drag me along with him for some 2-man shit but instead he felt threatened by me (I guess) and would always go alone. Multiple times I'd end up with random people I didn't know because his dumb ass would decide to fuck the night out and ditch us for women.

Reached its peak when he signed up for a senior trip we had planned for without me then played it off like he was forced to by his mom. Talked to him, said I was iffy on it anyway and if he doesn't want to go together I'll just not go but he insisted I come.

By day 2 it became obvious I was his plan B in case talking to literally anyone else doesn't work out, and he was constantly ditching me to go befriend random people, cockblocking me... eventually his reputation got to his retard head and he'd start to try to put me down in front of everyone. Fucked about half the trip before I was able to recover the situation with other people I met there. Ended up pissing away 2k just to have a mediocre trip and figure out one of my closest friends isn't a friend at all and would sell me out at a moment's notice.

He hasn't even apologized or anything. I guess he knows. We haven't spoken since we returned from the trip. Heard from mutuals he's been trying to convince them I was in the wrong but they've all experienced him being a wishy-washy friend in all facets of life so they're all on my side lol

TL;DR fuck this genre of person OP, try to appreciate the fact he showed his true colors soon enough. The longer it would've gone on for the worse the eventual fallout would've been.

>>33326675
>fuck this genre of person

Idd

>>33326397 (OP)
i read only the last part but maybe don't try to suck the dicks of the people who don't like you

bumping
I’ve had my fair share of fake friends
Fuck friendship trios
I personally regret that I was friends with them
I regret helping them, I regret listening to anything they said
I get angry simply thinking that I was friends with them
>it was good while it lasted
it wasn’t, I just had my eyes closed

>>33326675
> Fucked about half the trip before I was able to recover the situation with other people I met there.
how were you able to recover your reputation with the group? I always worry about this happening since I have a turbulent family situation

I posted my story a ton on /adv/
Had friend that made fun of me for liking a woman. Made fun of me for linking “planks” and women “built like a table” and that I like to feel a wall when I grab a woman’s ass.
All of those in reference to the woman I liked. At the same time he was trying to make me “get over her” by pointing out flaws in her, and that she isn’t a woman you’d want to be with.
Fast forward one and a half year.
I meet with her again. She tells me how much she’s always liked me but she can’t have a relationship with me.
Then after two months this “friend” says he went on a date with her and gives me this elaborate story on how basically she asked him out (lie). And he tells me that he didn’t really wanted to tell me because he knew this will damage our friendship but he’s telling me because another common friend told him to tell me. And his justification was that if I don’t find out, nothing will happen.
Then he said that he knows how to get her because I talked with him about her alot and that he knows she has attachment issues.
I told him (copingly) that they’re adults and they do whatever they want when he asked me what do I think.
Long story short he continued to do subversive shit, constant snake behavior, constantly acted like a victim and like I’m better than him and how he has “no options” in the dating market and how I went out with more women than he did that year (when he had a gf for 3-4 months that year?????). Fuck, even compared our car’s headlights and how mine are cleaner (same car).
So I just couldn’t stand him anymore and cut him off.
Had other friends that I told about his behavior, and a common friend went on to tell him. I confronted him and he said
>dude, you told everyone around you, all these npcs shouldn’t know your business
he’s the npc now
I saw them today, they’re still together and still stirred anger in me

>>33326397 (OP)
but to answer your initial question
I don’t know how to get over this
Just try to be more cautious with the people you surround yourself with
Try to get into psychology a bit to understand behavior and intent so you can read and protect yourself better without really engaging/hurting others
For me personally, it worked
The result is that I do keep people at an arm’s length, but I sleep in peace
Aside from the few moments in which I see them and rage/anger just explodes in me
But naming your feelings, being more cautious around people and not letting everyone get close to you are good first steps
My shrink told me this, at least

>>33332936
Depends what group you're referring to.

I didn't even need to recover my rep with the people in our mutual friend group because most of them have first-hand experience of him being a flaky asshole so they understood what happened immediately and stood by me.

If you're referring to the trip friend group; I never even bothered to see what my rep was because I heavily disliked the type of people that were in that group and the only reason I was hanging out with them was because of my friend.

When I say I recovered the trip I mean that I realized I'm incredible at making friends and had no reason to keep hanging out with the twofaced posh fucks my friend befriended so I just managed to make brand new friends who helped me have an amazing rest of the trip.

If you're actually looking to fix your rep though, it matters deeply what you're like in your day to day life. If you're aloof and/or unserious as a person, or if you're regularly combative it's a lot less likely to have people stay on your side. But if you're known for your patience or kindness and usually come across as a mature person you probably won't have to do anything to have people side with you. Let your character do the talking.

>>33326397 (OP)
Just watch Akira. It's basically how it goes every time.

>>33326397 (OP)
You take it in the chin and learn to look out for tells in the future with others. The trick is to not harden your heart enough to where you no longer can trust others, even the ones who have done nothing to you. Essentially if someone does not do for you what you do for them, its time to scale back and make sure you meet them on equal terms. What mind fucked me in life is all my friends would never invite me to anything, but when I set something up and invited them. They would show up no problem. I decided to play the game of just cutting contact for months and they did not even try to reach out. So idk, I only have one good friend now who actually seems to care.

Yikes OP. I've had my fair share of betrayal. The most recent is an older friend/mentor that had really encouraged me to open up to her and then abruptly ghosted me. I eventually found out she had gotten engaged and I was the only "friend" of the group who wasn't invited to the wedding, I spent a few days crying about it and then blocked her. This Christmas I ran into her at a party and she literally approached me and then made a show of turning her back to me. I left that party crying. The last time I saw her she threw a "hi anon!" at me and I told her to choke.

TLDR "much"

But as someone who was in similar shoes and got over here is what helps.
Meet new people make more friends. In the end it hits you that the amount of people on this earth makes them and their past actions insignificant.

>>33334091
>But if you're known for your patience or kindness and usually come across as a mature person you probably won't have to do anything to have people side with you. Let your character do the talking.
thanks. I hope I can find ways to be kind and helpful to them since they're family and not bad people after all
>>33334322
did you tell your friends group what she did to you? I'd probably even tell her fiance and save him some grief, what a shitty person

>>33335932
>did you tell your friends
God no, I actually suspect they're in on it.
I actually knew her husband way before she met either of us. We were doing volunteer work together and even hung out casually, always in a group though. I kinda developed a crush on him but I was 19-20 and he was already in his thirties ( that was about 6 years ago). Only one person knew about this and I suspect that she spoke about it to the first friend, she still hangs out with both of them. Jealousy over that stupid crush is the only explanation I can think of for this whole business. It's pathetic honestly.

>>33336737
I hold a grudge long enough that I'd actually go and tell him, but only once you're out of their lives enough that they can't come back and fuck with you. anyways don't take this as advice, I just don't believe evil people deserve happy endings.

>>33336750
He chose to marry her so she's his problem now. He saw how she treated me and even then he didn't do anything. Anyway, I hope it catches up to them someday.

>>33336929
yeah, sounds like the problem will sort itself out.

>>33334826
not op
people that betray close friends deserve to be hurt in return
>>33334160
iktf
even weirder if you’re invited to just be told what to do with your like and they call it “an intervention”