should you write a suicide note / farewell letter to someone who you were best friends with but ruined it, and have since agreed to heal and move on even though you're struggling with that? or is it better to just do it and have them find out on their own with no explanation? its been a long time since you were friends and you don't want to cause them pain and don't want them to think it's because of anything they had done or could've done, you just really have too many issues in life and can't keep going emotionally or mentally. and how can I make it so my family understands why I chose to do it and why it's better for everyone? i'm special needs, can't manage to be independent, i tried a lot of things and the older I get the harder things get and I'm too developmentally fucked to catch up or make anything just good enough. I don't find life worth it anymore, I have tried to give it a chance since I was a kid and by now I am aware there's not much I can do and have grown to hate myself and life has gotten so hard and bad that you can't even stay alive for the sake of people you care about and you don't care if the suicide method is painful or not, you just want out of this nightmare because you really don't have hope in the future and that you can become an adult like everyone else has and have a place in the world and have a lot of bad memories and regrets that haunt you and make it really painful to live.

>>33327207 (OP)
Literally just kys. You can post all the posts you want to online, but it wont make a difference. If you got a gun, just do it. Theres no point on waiting for things to get better. They wont. If you know your fucked and nobody cares about you, just do the inevitable. Nobody really cares and they'll get over your death quickly. You stall yourself by trying to convince your ego otherwise. You say one last fuck you to uncle sam, cus thats all youll ever be. A resource.

Don't do it m8, I'm struggling too. Jews tell you to kys. Live longer if just to spite them.

I fucked my life up and don't have any clue how to fix it. But I'm gonna just keep going.

>>33327362
Trust me. I've been there. Not a jew, cried out to God, but he was silent. He has this indignation against inferior creation. He doesnt answer to people who cant get it together. We belong in the pits, and the sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner you dont blame anyone including jews for your downfall. Im italian irish but it doesnt matter if im azkenashi jew. Loser doesnt discriminate.

>>33327207 (OP)
I promise you. I can give you more love than the God of Israel can give you. He doesnt give a fuck about people like us. I already tried that route. If you end up in hades, ill be there for you. God doesnt give a fuck about your pain, Hes God he'll send you to the pit without second thought. Without taking into consideration your pain. I know you wont accept him anyways, because you cant live up to His standards. I promise that ill be there for you in the pit, never judging you and gently helping you ease your suffering. Dont even try to connect to Him. He doesnt give a fuck. I've been through a lot in life, i can testify that He doesnt care. At all. But ill be there with you, forever encouraging you from the place His bitch ass doomed us to.

>>33327207 (OP)
Suicide is an obscenely selfish act because whatever you write or don't write, EVERYONE who knew you will feel that they failed you in some way.

>>33327734
Good

>>33327734
Not OP but they did fail me. All my friends got absorbed in their own lives and aren't there for me the way I was for them. I've helped them through bad breakups, alcoholism, drug addiction. One friend I had to literally go pick up off the street on a weekly basis because he passed out on the sidewalk at 2 AM. But now that I've become lonely, they have no time for me. Literally all I want after all that is a returned text or hangout once in a while but they can't even do that despite everything. I am slowly turning hateful toward the world. I can't get 10% back of what I gave. I am drowning in a pit of despair and nobody cares enough to even say "Hey man what's up, how you been?"

Fuck them. Seriously. Only reason I haven't kms'd myself is out of stubbornness and spite.

>>33327907
I'm sorry to hear that

>>33327907
I understand man. You are just a nice giving person, but that can also be interpreted as you being soft and a pushover or someone that can be taken advantage of, or worst of all as a man, weak. Its just the position people like us put ourselves in by being this way. This might sound like shitty gay advice, but I got tired of being perceived as weak and wanted other more traditionally masculine influences in my life, so I joined an mma gym (any martial art would suffice) and started going all the time. Its a nice thing to improve yourself with a community of other people that you would have otherwise never interacted with and learn a useful skill at the same time. It will at the very least keep you occupied, and secondarily, give you more self worth so you wont be such a needy pushover. Consider it

>>33327734
op here and I'm aware it hurts everyone who cares about you but I've really tried for the longest to not do it and if I gave in to that I would've done it as a kid, I really don't want to do it and will try until I really can't but things have really gotten so bad that it feels like that's a few weeks or months away and I have absolutely zero hope about anything. I really mean it when I say I don't think I have what it takes and that I wasn't meant to be born. I'm so scared of life always being this hard and painful