What do I do with my life?

I am 30, European, upper-middle class with a cushy job and a mortgage. I tried having some hobbies, and honestly, nothing really gets me excited. Like sure, I can spend some time on things, be it sports or vidya or painting, but it doesn't really "click". I always liked spending time with cool people, but I'm just tired of fruitless search and decided to become a shut-in. Consequently, raising a family is not going to happen.

I'm really missing the feeling of moving towards some bigger goal. My life is just same optimized loop every day.

>>33327872 (OP)
Adrenaline rush hobbies like skydiving or big craftsmen hobbies like guns

>>33327872 (OP)
Find a bigger goal then? Maybe build a summer cabin near a lake or something.

>>33327872 (OP)
>Consequently, raising a family is not going to happen
Fuck, don't say that.
I only just found my drive to start at 31.

>>33327872 (OP)
weekly howie rewrite

>>33329157
why does he do this? is it funny to him? is he trying to teach us something?

Maybe get into occultism, magik and spirituality. It can help you reveal more about yourself than you thought you knew. I know its not a mainstream Christian path but its by no means bad.
I recommend reading two books
High Magik by damien echols
Angels and archangel by damien echols
Also Gallery of magik books on Amazon
Spend some time learning about ceremonial magik maybe thelema. (Also get meditating)
I gaurantee if you practice it for a few months 3-6 you will start to feel things and see changes. Perhaps it can guide you towards your destiny. Better than dealing withering away from the pain. Good luck!

save up enough money to be able to afford paying your mortage and bills for a few years while unemployed then quit your job and go to university - once there you can speak to people, go to parties, lose virginity and experience sex and relationship and the fun parts of life