i feel like i'm gonna die alone
i haven't figured out how to socialize and i am heavily isolated...at age 20, when most of my peers are going out and living life, i'm not doing shit bcs i have no money, i'm depressed, don't know how to talk to anyone besides my family, etc.

when my family dies, i'll just be...alone lol
seriously, most people have it figured out by my age or go do stuff whereas i just...don't
and i have big problems in being an adult, like i'm just so irresponsible, depressed, don't have any skills, emotional control over myself etc.
i'm polite enough to the point where i don't break down in public as much anymore but man is it hard

all i can do is finish college and work a dead end job until i drop dead
should i try getting into drugs to numb the pain? i have no one irl, no one, NO ONE, not a single living soul and the people i have online, i feel like are fake connections and if i ever vent, they'll leave me
i've been banned from communities before for being a depressed wreck and it's just like
i don't think there's any saving me, i'll just be a shut-in for the rest of my life
i go out into nature a little bit and maybe to the supermarket but i am just so, so isolated and alone

>>33328094 (OP)
consume media that will make you feel worse

Do you want my email?
You can practice your talk with me.

>punching a child should calm me down
This but with macaques.

>>33328094 (OP)
It will be like this until you make up your mind to change it

>>33328395
even if i go out, i'm really bad at socializing

>>33328094 (OP)
anon ur not alone i relate to everything here cure for me has been zoloft, therapy, and faith that things will get better

>>33328094 (OP)
You're 20 you fucking retard just put yourself out there, there's still time for you.
life isn't over until you're 28+

>>33328094 (OP)
This is basically normal now. Modern life is isolated, sterile, and depressing.
You have to fight against society to find some kind of community or meaning, that's basically retro fantasies now like pirates or medieval knights.
You have to fight the world for this stuff

>>33328094 (OP)
Around your age, I got into contact with my old school friends and "rehydrated" the social group.
I had ulterior motives: I was trying and failing to ask my old crush out.
But that group is still going strong ten years on — even though I don't live there anymore.
They even do sport together now, whereas I... don't.
Still: Best group of friends in the world for me.

You could always get into contact with your old school mates, organise a pub night out.
Fairly lowest-common-denominator activity.

>>33328094 (OP)
>at age 20,
You still have time
Once you're 30 it's over.

>>33329083
i was bullied in high school, the only people i can talk to from there are retards that play only cs2 and just makes jokes about how "niggers are dumb apes"

like sure, i guess it's funny but they literally do nothing else honestly
i wanna go somewhere, do something

>>33333659
Defeatist and laughably inaccurate
>>33328094 (OP)
OP, I used to be you, you need to change ur attitude. Little by little day by day
You have already tackled the hardest part, acknowledging the problem. Now for the solution, I'd push myself to talk to random people in college, I'd look up free events near you, pick up new hobbies in social settings surrounded by strangers. It is scary, but here's the good part: many of them will be in similar situations.

Shy people will likely warm up to you as you chat them up, and outgoing people are usually looking forward to making new acquaintances so work on your posture, hygiene and manners. Confidence can be tricky but it will come naturally as you push yourself a bit out of your comfort zone and realize that the consequences absolutely don't warrant that kind of anxiety.

Don't rush or exert yourself, social anxiety will be a bitch, but it will become more manageable the more you face it.

>>33333741
i've had these problems since i was 15 and i really don't know how to fix them
i'm just broken