It's been weighing on my mind for a little bit, but I've been trying to stop wishing people happy birthdays unless they remember mine. I feel like an asshole for it. I turned 30 last year and very few people remembered. Hardly anyone remembered the year before that. And even fewer remembered this year.

It used to be that I would remember everyone else's and wish them one, but years of people not doing the same for me just made me feel like I was thinking about others more than they thought about me. But it's not like I'm just forgetting their birthdays, I'm actively ignoring them, and that makes me feel like I'm in the wrong and it's just their honest mistake since there's zero malicious intent on their part. It makes me feel like I should keep trying to wish them well even knowing I won't get anything in return, because it's the right thing to do. But I can't help but feel that would make me a doormat. Maybe being actually alone is better than being surrounded by people who don't really think about you.

Just a part of adulthood.

Have you considered having a better birthday? Mine is 20th April and everyone remembers

>>33331958
Well I'm April 19th so how about that

>>33331964
OP, birthdays are just a fleeting moment of life. When you are 50, you are going to wish you had not had them. At times, it may be better to remind ourselves we are not getting older. In a way, holding on to our youth.

>>33332019
I already hate having them. They're reminders that nobody bothers remembering the day, even if it's a big one, and also that I'm not where I want to be in life, time is passing, and my life is on a downward trajectory as my opportunities fade, I'm so far behind, and the best I'll ever get is living like a hobo paycheck to paycheck at minimum wage because there's nothing for me here. Every year gets worse.

Honestly, it pisses me off that my immediate family wants to go out and get dinner (I unfortunately share a birthday). I'd rather just sleep or stay alone all day. I don't want a card. They don't care about where I want to go to eat anyway. It feels more like an excuse for my dad to go to a restaurant he wants and pig out. I found that the only messages I cared about were from the three people not in my immediate family who remembered.

>>33331910 (OP)
Youre kinda getting a bit of main character syndrome here dude.
Everyone's busy with their lives. No one is required to think about you ever, and it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not they like you. Just life.
The fact youre scanning your social media for whos birthday is a you trait. It doesnt mean anyone else is doing it. Its a nice thing about yoh, Ill give you that, but that alone doesnt make you better or more thoughtful than anyone else.

>>33332089
I think you to find ways to get over your feeling of dread. Your dread is going to make you feel worse and worse as life goes on. The more you focus on it and the less you drift away from it, the worse your life will be. So yeah your life is going downhill as you have a no fun office job, but it could be a lot worse. What I suggest doing is the moment you feel this dread, start cleaning up your apartment.

>>33332110
I don't scan, I remember because I make an effort to learn about people I meet. When I consistently talk to people, I think "Oh, their birthday is coming up". It's just in my brain. Sometimes I even drop hints when my birthday is approaching too just in case they forgot. Doesn't change anything, they still forget. And I feel like an asshole if I choose not to wish someone a happy birthday now. I absolutely do it for the few people who remember mine, I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart, but it does bother me that even my closest friends who have known me for half my life don't remember when we all remember and celebrate each other's, I'm the exception.

>>33332119
I don't even have a minimum wage job. I don't have any work, I'm stuck living at home. I was actually building a life up until early last year elsewhere, but it all suddenly disappeared and I had no choice but to return home. I haven't even been able to find work since, there are hundreds of applications and multi-stage interviews for even 16 hour a week entry level part-time jobs.

>>33332194
Try to find volunteer work then. Just do not let this awful dread you have consume you. It is eatting you up day by day and at some point will swallow you whole if you let it. I used to be the same 3 years ago, but today I stopped it.

>>33331910 (OP)
Except for my nearest and dearest, nobody I know has any idea when my birthday is, because it's none of their business and I don't bring it up in conversation

>>33332871
My best friends who I've known for 15 years didn't remember, they never do even though they know it