I can’t stop doing nothing but weed when I have it. Nothing else matters but the escape of myself.

They called my emergency contact without even calling me first. What the fuck.

if I had guaranteed income for life, I'd spend the next 50 years in front of a computer screen. It's horrible for my physical and mental health but socializing and doing activities outside involves a huge battle against myself. I'm incredibly lonely but trying to meet people, especially women feels even worse

>>33332901
Same here. I'm thinking of taking up some physical hobby like woodwork to get away from my screens a bit more. But I've been saying that for years, and I'd just be looking at Youtube instructional videos all day instead anyway.

Inner child is very sad
Good to examine and hold this, rare that I can

i've been awake 38 hours

>>33332857 (OP)
I had an engineering math exam yesterday and i wrote it very badly, i only have one more chance to do it correctly or else i'm kicked out of uni. I laugh becuase there was nothing which could've prepared me for it, it's logical reasoning, nothing you see in a book, and i'm afraid that the next exam will be the same. I felt so terrible that i drank a litre of wine yesterday just to quench the sorrow.

>>33332901
That is why you are supposed to pick up a physical sport, if it's something more dangerous/extreme the confidence for it will automatically translate into your life, you will have no fear of anything, or anyone.

>>33332857 (OP)
Male, early 30, not a single friend, never touched a girl either.
BUT I have a prosperous career, many hobbies that keep me occupied and lots of time to spend in nature where it's quiet and peaceful.
I'd like to have a family tho, but I think it's too late.

I hope you are well, Anonymous. Sorry, I felt like I needed to work on myself more or would have answered you.

I really don’t want to go back in there

The world won't magically change anytime soon, they'll talk like it will but it won't.

>>33333333

Take advantage of the fact that this world is in fact not changing any time soon.

I took such a good shit I had to take a pic. I'm a proud mama

I wish it didn’t ruin my mood

How you gonna rules lawyer and get the rule WRONG you dumb fucking nigger? You aren’t even the DM

I hate the 2020s and it likely going to get worse.the 2010s seems like there hope but now there individualism and nihilism and bullshit like female nature blowing up it messed up that humans likely came from one of these two things a god that likely don’t care or damm apes like the bonobo this life is bullshit

>>33333117
Same, I tell myself everyday

I think I need to develop the mentality that I effectively have two jobs making me money: My actual job, and living with my mother. I need to come to terms with the fact that she has zero concept of privacy, that she owns the house I live in, that I won't be able to afford a home for many years to come, and that if anything slightly inconveniences her she needs to barge in to where I am and go on a crazed rant. And since she is mildly inconvenienced every few minutes, that means I need to accept that I can't really have fun or hope. I've got this week off and I'd honestly rather be in the office. Ironically she barged in twice whilst I was typing this post to complain about how a "pretty" neighbour pisses her off and how she hopes she dies in the next five years because she hates being alive. Thanks mum.

I wish I could be the one for you. I regret not making you mine all those years ago. It would shut up the voice in my mind about you. I've waited too long. If I was there for you from the start, would have been there to stop you from making stupid decisions. I know if you had a taste of me, you wouldn't want me anywhere else but right beside you. You would be stuck to me like glue. This is probably one of the biggest what ifs in my life. Part of me thinks there is still hope but, I know it will require me to undo a lot for myself. For what exactly? Is the question I ask myself a lot.

>>33334369
Cont. you will always hold a part of my heart. That will never change. I love you S. Hope you can feel this from afar.

How are Amazon allowed to do this so blatantly

It's literally NOT a sale. Literally.

I can't find work, although I sent hundreds of applications (although I have some interviews now and then). I have a car, I work out, I am in good health and reaonably handsome, but my finances are dwindling everyday and in a month time I may be ending homeless. I am scared shitless.. I have a kid I need to support. I live in a rich country, but life has just been shitting on me so hard these past two to three years, I almost can't believe it. I am going to loose my head If I can't see any good outcome happening soon..

I really only want a simple life, a decent job, a nice wife, raise my kid un a similar fashion I see the vast majority of people living their own life..

>>33332857 (OP)
Nigger

>walk past that cute co worker
>perfect opportunity to finally talk to her
>give her the most generic NPC greeting
>don't even look back
God damn it. I need to break this habit.

>applied to a job at a store that's opening up near me soon a few weeks ago
>next day i get an message saying that I got rejected, whatever this is just what job hunting is now
>get another message today from that same store
>we're doing a mass hiring event on these dates and we've invited you (the candidate we denied) to come to an interview

I can only conclude that on their website they just have a bot that auto denies candidates for APPLYING LIKE THEY TOLD ME TO. I got an INTERVIEW because IT DIDN'T REMEMBER I APPLIED ON THE WEBSITE. Holy shit man I want to fucking jump off a bridge I am so tired of getting screwed over because I want a paying job. I'm great at interviews so I am 98% sure I'll get in and my fucking god, how funny will it be knowing I got a job at the same company who rejected my resume not a week prior. Fucking christ jesus i hate it here. It feels like the world wants me to be homeless.

>>33334910
It's really jarring to hear politicians and older generations complain over no one wanting to work. Especially all those men who do nothing but stay home in their mother's basement playing video games all day. It feels like such a boogy man that stomps on a younger generations reputation for no reason at all.
Finding a job is more tedious than it should be. It wouldn't even be so bad if companies actually replied to their own applicants responsibly. But instead you have mishaps like yours, applications not being responded to for months, applications expiring without a response, and applications that get thrown into the void. I mean are companies even fucking hiring?

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm actually a bastard or the people that complain about what I do have a delusional understanding of how the world works.

I miss you Adrijus. I wish I could contact you. I daydream about you nonstop because I miss us as a couple. I hope one day you love me again. I wish I did not fail you.

Okay I regret sending that long angry text message to him even if it feels cathartic. I miss him a lot. I'm so stupid.

I didnt get >>33333333

>>33334943
I don't even know why half the companies are even putting out job requests. They seem to have absolutely zero intention of hiring anyone. My record right now is a job request I put in eight months ago. Still processing. No answer yet, I'll be 92 and finally get the coveted "we've moved on to other applicants" message.

They really do have it backwards. Plenty of people want to work, companies just seem to treat prospective employees in this weird adversarial nature and you're punished for doing what you're guided to do. I've been wanting to work for seven months, I've got references, I've got work experience yet I may as well have neither. It's fucking insane.

I can't fully"gradp" the idea of people changing. Like if someone did something fucked up in the past and then changed I still view them as being worse because of it. Maybe partially it IS reasonable since someone's people go back to their old ways or they have some ulterior motive for "changing"and haven't improved on the inside.
To be clear, I've done things I regret mostly when I was a kid (and find it easier to excuse fucked up things other people did as kids because their brains aren't fully developed yet and they're influenced a lot more by peers) so not a hypocrite at least. Sometimes I can be cowardly and weak, which can be selfish, but it's not like I feel malice really, not that doing harmful things is okay regardless. But if someone does something because they don't care or want to hurt people as an adult I struggle to see them as a good person still.

>>33335123
"Grasp" ok I'm stupid lol

>>33335123
Yeah you can be vindictive but if you spend your time trying to fuck someone up over something that happened a long time ago you become the problem.

>>33334369
This feeling will and prob has kept you from havint fulfilling or meaningful relationships, since.

You made me feel like showing love and care is a fault. Like being cold is the norm. Like I'm just some needy, clingy annoyance. You made me believe it. Such bullshit. Fuck you.

Ah yes, here it is.

>>33335417
Same happened to me. Now I hold some resentment and regret for the ones I cared for.

>>33332857 (OP)
I'm at the point where all I want is a bullet in my head. My mom is dead and it should have been me not her. My sister needed her, no one needs me.

It's funny how men bitch and cry about women being "emotional" and "confusing" but they go on killing sprees just because they haven't had sex.

Modern day men are a fucking joke. Where's the strong yet silent kind of man who'll sweep me off my feet? I don't have a problem being a tradwife for a man who's actually traditional. Most "conservative" men still want a dual-income household. You're a man, you're supposed to be the one supplying our family, if you have to rely on a woman for any type of income, you cannot claim you're conservative.

>>33335512
YWNBAW

>>33335530
YWNB -ACK

words of a word smith mean nothing
you can keep them

>>33335512
shut up tranny, women don't use this godforsaken site

I have to suppress the urge to go for a happy ending massage every time I feel it come up. I fantasized about going for years before pulling the trigger 3 years ago and I loved it even if it was just a handjob, but the guilt absolutely messed me up and I privately swore them off in a complete overreaction. But I also associated them and getting any sexual pleasure with the risk or eventuality of something bad happening as “punishment” from the universe for feeling good. This happened because I got into a small wreck the Saturday of the week of the massage. And then another time I forgo a massage to buy myself a toy and my dad faints while out of town that night. I really really want to go but that anxiety of “something bad will happen if you go” stops me every time, either I’ll get caught in a raid as is appropriate to my luck, or something will happen to me or someone I care about. I probably sound schizophrenic lmao.

I really like this life I have. I complain about it a lot, but it’s really nice. I’m lucky my mum lets me just live here without expecting much in return other than the occasional helping hand, but I just feel so guilty. She spends money to keep herself and I alive and meanwhile people my age have moved out and gotten proper jobs, not like the part time low income grocery cuck work I do. I’ve been streaming for 3 years and it hasn’t gone anywhere at all. I feel like such a parasite, but I’m a dropout and I have no idea where to go or what to do. All the jobs that would take me are the exact same low income labour shit because I’m a highschool dropout and my body is fucked from doing so much lifting by now. I could go to school but I don’t even know what the hell I want to do with my life since my dream of being some funny haha internet person has crashed and burned.

I just feel like such a parasite leech. I keep telling her that I’m sorry and that I can leave whenever she needs me to and she says I don’t have to. I would if she asked, but I’m so scared to make the step. This can’t continue forever, and I can’t keep burdening her. I can’t deal with the shameful gaze everyone gives me whenever they look at me, but I just don’t know what to do and I’m so scared.

>>33335552
You gave them up and are mad because they angrily said they didnt want you back?

Maybe they wanted you all along but you literally showed no interest, unless it was in someone else.

Let me hurt you over and ocer and expect you to come running back.. I think that will work.

Interesting when a youngster asks you "was it even that healthy of a relationship, anyways?"

endless understanding without mutual effort becomes self-erasure

mhm

i understand that i am still hurt and healing. i understand i dont want to connect, communicate or relation with anyone and all chan does it hurt my feelings.

i wont be posting any more.

all I am asking is to stop being so insincere
it‘s disgusting
and keep your I love you‘s

>>33335608
I feel like my girlfriend thinks like this. It would explain why every time I try to show affection it seems to only push her away. Is it not obvious I'm genuine after all this time? Maybe she's having fun keeping me at a distance? Maybe I just need to disconnect and stop interacting with her in general if that's what she wants. I don't even have the energy to cry or think about this anymore.

>>33335649
you do something that makes her not trust your words and actions
has she ever caught you lying or being insincere?
anyways, probably the beat for both of you to just go separate ways at this point, no matter the reason for this tension

>>33335512
What's wrong with killing? Are you anti-abortion or something, chud?

**[spoiler]i'm so tired...[/spoiler]**

i've wanted nearly every girl i've dated to marry me and be a good wife

but all they ever want is sex and to play games

even when they didn't act like i was just some disposable sex toy and after i eventually wised up, they would pretend to be someone i'd want to date long term and then switch it up and act like their bs bad behavior is what i signed up for

it hurt so much so many times but it has gotten easier to part with women that aren't compatible

it took a while and a lot of pain before i realized this was God working in me

>>33335714
>God working in me
inside your butt?

If i EVER said that I love you. I meant it, whole heartedly. You were everything.

it has started to feel like nothing but a trick now

I have a terrible taste in my mouth.
And still tried to make the relationship better :/

Im sorry I couldnt be what you wanted me to. Im sorry for not being perfect. Im sorry for wishing things could have been better. Im sorry for not understanding.
I loved you so much, though.
Stupidly.. I still do.

I loved you too. I have no idea anymore if I tricked you, you tricked me, nobody tricked anyone or we both tricked each other. Most of all, I think we tricked ourselves.
How sad.

Fuck
I think I have to give her a hard truth that she's not gonna want to / be able to hear
And it's going to make her pull away from me which is really gonna suck
But I can't not say it because it needs to be said and it's what she needs to hear even if she can't right now
It's also kinda messy because I didn't commit to that right away so now it's going to be a mixed message

>>33332857 (OP)
I started on Mounjaro today. It feels so much like cheating but my options for weight loss and maintenance are becoming more limited every year with how my body's breaking down from my disabilities. I'm not drastically overweight, but I'm overweight enough to wake up and look in the mirror and feel reminded of the fact I'm now a cripple, and that my body is failing me. That I might wind up in a wheelchair some day in the not too distant future, or relying on handrails in our home, or installing a seat into our shower. If I'm going down that road, I at least want to just feel... cute. I want to feel pretty again...

I want to at least like looking at myself. To wear my nice clothes and get dressed up and pretty.

My boyfriend never complained, he's always told me I'm sexy, even after the surgeries and the weight gain. Hell, he likes the amount of ass I have on me these days. He invited this ass to move in with him two years ago, there's that. But I want to be enthusiastic for him again. To do that, I need to like what I see in the mirror. I need to feel like I'm not inflicting an ironically heavy husk of myself onto him in the bedroom, or anywhere else.

God, I hope this works. I'm so grateful to be in a position where I can afford to even try this medication.

I hope I'll feel a little more like myself again, for both of us. The love of my life, I'm sorry for hiding in my baggy clothes. I promise, one way or another I'll be smiling again and you'll be proud to have me on your arm. I adore you.

so many otherwise smart, attractive people ruin themselves with propaganda, drugs, hrt, obesity, tats, piercings, bad posture, etc

it's hard to watch but it is what it is

flew too close to the sun

>>33335657
It makes me feel bad to say this, but she's been like this most of the time we've been together. But I just always hope something will work out. I talk about stuff as soon as something makes me uncomfortable. I always encouraged her to do the same, but she doesn't want to engage. I'm not perfect, of course I'm not, but at least I try to do better. I will definitely try to work on myself if I were told what it is. If I did do something wrong I would like the courtesy of knowing what. But I literally don't know. And I'm very tired of trying to guess. I just don't understand it, this relationship feels very backwards at times.

>>33335828
I‘m not a mind reader, but even if you try to do better, if her trust is broken, it‘s gone, and anything you do might not be enough to bring it back. Also sounds like she is an avoidant. You know the situation the best, but from an outside perspective and based on the very limited info I have, it does not sound like this is going anywhere.

>>33335512
What you need is a time machine or some lake city quiet pills. Either way, no one cares, tranny.

Adrijus if you see this message email me please. If you went by undsleep contact me. You know how…

>>33335843
At this point I feel like I can't trust her either. I think you're right, it's not going anywhere. Maybe at this point it's just fundamentally broken. And maybe she is an avoidant.

How can I kill myself and put it on 4chan?

Today's the day I stop drinking in excess

>>33335743
You should tell them all this.

>>33335749
I'm stalling
Sending her this message is likely going to end it and I'm super attached
Probably in an unhealthy way

>>33332857 (OP)
I'm in my early 30s and found myself crushing on a 20 yo because they made themselves very evident to me, sending me DMs etc. I'm assuming they were interested in me too. but I'd just feel like a pedophile, what's worse is I'm a woman in my 30s, it's exhausting. everything about my life is a mess to top it all off, and they show up showing empathy for it all, like what is their point to ask me about these things and show empathy and interest... so cursed.
everything feels like it is too late in life for me, and this is just like a joke on top of it all, I wish I could ugly cry. I never finished college or managed to get a real job because I have a form of dissociative identity disorder. I'm so tired anons lol

>>33335957
Well first off you call your parents and tell them this.

>>33336017
Just send her the message. Do it now. >>33336047
You are not a pedophile but be careful younger men can also hurt you. I hope it goes well though.

>>33336054
I want to just die why would my parents need to know?

>>33336061
>Just send her the message. Do it now
I did it
Feels like I just ended something
Idk it's in her hands now
Fuck

>>33336061
It's a 13 year difference, I feel awful about it. Maybe it would be fine if I were in my 50s and he was in his 40s but goddammit it feels awful. Maybe I'll just send him a message saying something to the effect of "hey, it would be fucking awesome if you were older." and see how that lands, who knows what will happen.

>>33336066
Because they love you. They don't want their child to hurt themselves like this.

>>33335608
Damn

>>33335552
I’m sorry

What approaching depressed people with me as a carebear on this website is like:

Anon: -starts cussing at the world-
Carebears: Hi anon do you need a friend?
Anon: Fuck off you demon possessed freaks!
Carebears: -looking at each other- I don't know what he is talking about.
Rainbow carebear: "Oh I know! He needs a hug! -Rainbow Carebear approaches anon-
Anon: -starts stabbing the shit out of Rainbow Carebear-
Carebears in horror: "why are you doing this?! We just wanted to be your friend? -in tears-
Anon: -starts screaming in rage attacking the other carebears-

it's over.

I miss fren

I have autoandrophilia but I hate dykeshit. Suffering

I realized part of the reason my dad sexually absued me for years was because I was shit at sports. He was absolutely desperate for me and my brother to play sports, so there was nothing to protect or cultivate with me. He couldn't touch my brother because he was far more successful at sports, so destroying his mental/emotional health would ruin everything. I think it's also the reason my brother and father are still cool to this day, even after I told my brother that he sexually abused me for years.

ugh i hate having all these feelings for you
it fucks me up because i cant do anything about it

>>33336513
Do you and your brother get along?

I don't understand what short guys don't get here. Women aren't attracted to you because it's simply biological. It's not their fault they prefer someone taller just like how it's not your fault you'd pick a blonde goddess over a gross hairy Sasquatch.

It wasn't short men who were knights, riding horses into battle. It wasn't short men who became police officers and maintained public peace (at least before guns). It wasn't short men who were fighting to death with their glistening muscles in colosseum. Short men were unsuccessful in those areas so they resorted to brainmaxxing.

Before all of these fancy weapons, do you think women were depending on small or large men to aide them in surviving in nature? Our monkey brains have remained relatively the same since so you shouldn't expect different behavior from them, stop crying about "muh heightism" like a little bitch.

>>33332901
I feel this way, except I would drink myself to death too if I never had to leave my house. Instead, im sober and constantly stressed out.

You can never depend on someone that is hooked on external validation
They'll betray you or fuck themselves over in the end

I'm tired of managing dysfunctional people
I want enough money to not have to babysit adults again

It's not that staying on righteous path will pay off in the end
Rather it's more like doing mindless hedonism is an empty endeavor

>>33336749
But it is respectful to me. Anon, have you been bullied so much you don't feel like being nice anymore?

fuck i'm smoking weed while fapping again and it feels SO good

>>33335957
Look up exit bags and stream it on kick or something. Post the link to /b/ and wa la. That, or just buy a fire arm, if you're in Freedomland.

I don't know why but I had a dream about sexually assaulting my cousin that I've had the hots for for a while now but never really acted on it nor told anyone. Starts with her walking in on me masturbating, and I joke to her about helping me with it. She laughs it off and I follow up with something like "hey you're pretty" and she goes "hahaha oh wait you're serious about this?". She proposes starting with a kiss just so we know if we'll move forward, and after kissing for a while I force her to the sofa, force her pants down, and start performing cunnilingus on her which hurts her and she starts running away and out of guilt I let her go while apologizing all the while. I've remembered more dreams lately but this is the most evil one so far.

nigga balls

>>33336771
nta but aren't you just contributing to the cycle that got you into that spot in the first place?

"The only thing for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing"

If you don't take an active stance, can't you see how your absence from it all could lead to more "bullies" which could further lead to more people who "don't feel like being nice anymore"?

There aren't words to describe it anymore. Anything I try to type to explain it, just feels gay and lame.

I blew up the sun, no more sunshine, no more rainbow

Well she finally blocked me on everything. Part of me had hoped we could mend things and at least be friends again but I guess pointing out to what I thought was a mutual friend that she's definitely still being strung along by the guy she lets use her as a rebound was the last straw. No more daily snaps, she's given up on me because I guess I'm not allowed to be fucked up over her absence. Like sure I did something bad and hurt her, but after dating for a year and a half fondling you while I'm completely black out drunk is not rape. But whatever, you've made your choice. As pathetic as it is part of me will always love you. I hope some day we can meet again as better people.
Be well.

>>33336095
She didn't leave
She's explaining herself and honestly making way more sense than I would've thought
There are many layers at play here
Need to sit and reset for a minute

Going to keep going no matter what.

>>33336959
Based

I'm not sure if it's because it's been really these past few days but I've been really manic recently; I'll go from laughing, to anger, to sadness, to not even wanting to watch YouTube videos and just laying on the ground listening to ambient music.

>>33337221
No, not based. Really fucking sad

I love him so much. I want to make him happy.

Relationships aren't worth it. It's infinitely worse feeling alone while the person who is supposed to make you feel the opposite is right fucking there, than it is to be actually alone.

Considering the horrible pain and suffering I see NTs do to themselves, I do not want to have their perfect social skills. As a kid I wanted that. Now as an adult I think being socially awkward is the greatest gift I have ever had.

Any other incels out there that think women are lowkey disgusting but they still are looking for “the one” and are withholding their virginity for what is effectively this imaginary nobody person that even if they existed would realistically never give a shit about you unless you’re rich ripped and white or something?

>>33337347
Damn im sorry anon. Maybe they're going through something.

>>33337347
That's a sign they're not the right person for you

>>33336719
Legit babysitting mentally challenged adults or are you using it as an insult?

>>33337468
The problem with that is even when you're ND you still need human connection
It's a facade making you think youre fine without it
Yeah people's lives with each other are messy af but it's still a fundamental need. One day your apathy shell will crack and it'll absolutely freak you the fuck out
>t. Autismo whose apathy shell finally cracked in his early 30s

>>33337702
I know. But I'm stuck, we're having a kid. Yes it was an accident.

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

I dont learn through harassment, It doesnt reinforce my behavior, and I dont back down from it either, I consider pain a necessary and unavoidable part of life, nor should it be avoided, things should rather accord to bravery and discipline when it comes to pain and the process of its hindrance, i dont submit to others wishes except by sociability or mutual alignment, otherwise its an opportunity for the high virtue of courage. I dont submit to morals because my understanding of philosophy puts me at ease and confidence, I consider my precious virtue and prudence the more important over all else

Where is the easiest place I can get an e boyfriend I can hide from my parents who will be my knight and protect me? One that is loyal and willing to find and kill my one ex? What social media should I use?
I am a loser virgin autistic ugly woman but I have ambition and the need for revenge…also very lonely. Where would be a good place for me? Beyond Hell you know.

>>33337974
Any discord server

I'm too hopeful but always feel I'll fail just before I succeed. I am saying sweeter things to her now and they're well received, maybe it's trust. Last time she came around I took her hand just for a little while. This time I will scoop her up when I see her. I have to tell myself I'll try these minor advances otherwise I'll be too focused on the reaction of the moment and not act. The older I get (28) the more I care about these moments even more than just fucking. I want to be close to her neck and rest my hands on her waist. I'm too ashamed of these soft feelings to ever tell anyone.

I know this doesn’t really change anything and you probably would rather not hear from me at all but I know that I behaved in a way that was hurtful to you and all I can do at this point is tell you I’m sorry. You don’t have to forgive me but it’s important to me that you know that I know I was wrong.

>>33338101
You should tell them this anyway, it's nice to get an apology.

I can't possibly humiliate or embarrass myself any more than I have already in the last few days, so why don't I just stop caring? I'm tired of being afraid, anxious, nervous, and self-conscious every time I go outside. I hate myself no matter what decision I make and I can't get anyone to give a fuck about me no matter what I do, so who gives a shit at this point. Maybe ego suicide is the way to break through all of this fear of people.

>>33338174
Maybe. I’m just worried it won’t be received well. The last thing I’d want to do is be a bother and reopen wounds just to stroke my own ego, which is how it’d feel to me even though I am genuinely remorseful and don’t expect anything in return, including forgiveness.

I understand what you mean, the communal narc. I am learning to be okay without the reward or praise. I want to do good. I want to help others. That is the core I am choosing.
I want you to know that I still think of you, always.
I want you to know how truly, genuinely, sincerely sorry I am for what I said. My feelings did not reflect reality. You did not deserve what I did to you. Not at all. You’re the most beautiful person in the whole world to me, still. Maybe always.
If my words don’t reach you, I hope my actions will. I’ll carry what you gave me with me, forever.
I want you to know how scared I am. Scared of being forgotten. Being nothing.
I want you to know that I love you.
You knew all that, didn’t you?

I need a boyfriend or even just situationship to get codependent over I'm going insane from withdrawing from the dopamine highs of that sort of thing even if the lows suck or sometimes the person can be manipulative.. they should just make a dating app for people who don't want a 100% healthy relationship like bro you are allowed to lovebomb and gaslight me who even cares

You caused the main problem. That's not even a debate and you hated it when I explained how. I took responsibility for the things I did wrong, even admitted fault with things you made up just so we could move past it.
Now you want me to jump through hoops and if I jump through them you won't acknowledge them anyway and think it's a "trick" because you apparently want to stay in a place where everything is bad. Meanwhile you still accept no responsibility and consider yourself to be absolutely perfect in every way because you don't make mistakes.
You're a genuinely horrible person and you deserve no happiness.

Like 10 fucking years ago at this point I was in a sharp, steep depression, and I took refuge in getting WAY too emotionally involved in a stupid piece of media. And when that piece of media had a disappointing ending, I nearly fucking killed myself. Like I'd been hanging off a cliff and the weedy little branch I'd been clinging too finally, predictably, gave way.
The thing is, that piece of media had a kind of fire soundtrack. But still, to this day, some 10 fucking years later, it still hurts to listen to any of those songs because it's so deeply connected to such a negative, pathetic time in my life. It's as if I shazamed a song at my best friend's funeral or something.
It's so fucking annoying. Where's this neuroplasticity science is always bragging about? Fling some of that shit my way, I can only navigate around so many black holes.

Whats the piece of media anon I'm so curious

>>33338671
What did you do?

i woke up at 1pm today and immediately ate like 5 ice cream bars someone just kill me ugh i had such a good routine for almost 2 months

Realistically, a bad person doing bad shit is like a drop in the bucket for them
They just pick up like nothing happened and keep moving
Empaths need to stop believing they're remorseful and stop believing they'll see the light

>>33339159
This is just not true.

being single is hell
but having a wishy-washy gf can be miserable too

>>33339159
>>33339163
Empaths are not real

>>33339166
being single with a fwb is awesome, just don't ever catch feelings

I put too much faith in the people I'm supposed to be leading and didn't check their work. I could say, "they should've known," but they do know, and they feel like they can get away with the half-effort because I don't act like my job.
I should've checked everything over and fixed what was there.
But I know I'm overstressing. It was one bad job out of countless good ones. I'll just do it better tomorrow. Maybe print out a list of tasks for my guys to divvy up.

>>33339167
Sorry, not empaths but normal ass humans

>>33339170
I disagree. I only want to sex someone who isn't interested in sexing others.
Isn't it more special if only one person has access to my body?

ie) That girl is a slut if everyone hits vs she only has let one person inside her in X amount of years

why am i so FUCKING sensitive
why am i losing sleep over messing up at work
i didn't get a write-up, i'm not even being threatened with one, all i got was "here's what you fucked up, don't fuck it up again"
i guess i'm embarrassed that i fucked up things i usually don't fuck up
or it's guilt that i made someone's job harder than it should've been after i had a really easy shift
but it's not even big, it's just a handful of things didn't get put away correctly
maybe it was the wording of the text i got about it i dunno man
i feel like such a baby bitch literally unable to sleep because of this
i've fucked up way worse at this job i don't know why this specific time is messing with my head like this

Giving someone a genuine apology and getting a cold response hurts like a motherfucker. Unreciprocated care is just painful in any context.

>>33339261
Very true and I understand

>>33339261
Yeah, that is shitty.

>owned my home for over a decade
>small bush on my neighbors side beside my back fence allowed to grow huge and nobody ever trimmed it
>new neighbor lives there for the past year and is a rude door slamming pig, never changed out the old owners ratty holiday decorations and fake flowers, just a POS lazy zoomer
>backyard bush encroached like three feet over my fence and was blocking light for my plants
>cut it back to the fence line but don't touch her side
>today look out there and she cut it more dramatically away from my side, to the trunk, but left hers extremely tall and bushy like it was cut down the middle
So petty it's almost hilarious. Like you know that cunt is pissy I "touched" her bush when trimming it is normal hone maintenance. Her spite trim job just looks retarded. She needs to grow the fuck up and take care of her shit and learn how to shut the door like a normal person. Dumb whore

>>33339261
Maybe they read it and felt like it would hurt to much to continue the conversation. If you know they were aware of the apology, maybe thats all they can muster up without becoming emotional.

>Friend has untreated ADHD
>Somehow he gets more pussy than I do and was smart enough to get his CDL
Make it make sense.

>>33339261
Are you >>33338101 >>33338671? Did you send her your apology?

>>33339297
Reading this hurts my heart. I hope that you’re doing okay, anon.

>>33339297
All I want is to move past it. I know I was in the wrong and I feel terrible about it. I didn't know what I was doing when I was doing it but I do now and I won't do it again. I just know if the roles were reversed I'd have accepted the apology and moved right on with our usual things.
But that's where I'm the weird one, I guess. I simmer on things in private; I don't even let my most trusted person in on when and why I'm actually upset because I don't want to be a burden.
>>33339321
Not me, but I really hope she can understand him.

>>33339321
That is a very heartfelt apology, and if it was me that it was directed to - I would accept it, probably cry, and still hold love in my heart. I would maintain as much positivity in the relationship.
Who wouldn't want to move past the wrongs? Thats the only thing you can really do. Let go of the issues, accept the apology and heal.

Making mistakes that hurt other people fucking sucks. I don't understand how people screw others over on purpose. I don't like how it feels in my chest and stomach at all.

>>33339362
To not hold hatred, is the strongest thing a person can do. Whatever happened may make someone very sad but its useless to dwell.
(Not knowing the situation) But an apology can't always make the situation better. It is important to understand that and like anon said, move on.

People who are really sorry are able to accept the consequences of their apology without being upset at the other person or else its completely self serving. Forgiveness isn't owed and if the other person wants to hold onto that hurt or resentment that has nothing to do with you at that point. The person I hurt most in the past and apologized to never accepted it and they strictly don't want anything to do with that but I can respect those wishes because I really am apologetic

>>33339413
This. some of the times that people have apologized to me for huge things, I just refused to accept it. I already wrote them out of my heart. Why should they get to benefit from me one last time emotionally? I rejected an abusive bully and abusive ex lovers apologies for this reason. The bully I told to never speak to me or my family again the ex lover I ignored.

>>33339413
I can only speak for my own situation but the issue is that I'm still not seeing closure on the topic and I know asking for it is prodding and going to make everything worse. I just have to wait, and it sucks, but that's why I'm moaning here, privately, anonymously. Respecting the needed time but dreading the waiting process.

>>33339413
True, yup. A self serving apology is worthless.

I'm in love with an onlyfans model and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual (sends me shit without taking my money, messages me all the time, asks for my nudes, etc) but everyone in my life and even anons are telling me it's fake. it's tearing me up but I know what we have is real and i wish she would take things to the next level so i can stop calling her the onlyfans girl and start calling her my girlfriend.

I can accept it and still be upset and need to get it off my chest, what is this topic for bro

>>33339442
It’s a conversation about the wider range, not just you.

Well forget the potion, my brain just blue screen'd mid walking so I fell on my face.
Yay buying bandages and bleeding in public. Fill up my consume-meter.

>>33338782
If the person who really hurt me said this to me, it would make me feel so much better.

>>33339619
The ironic thing is that if the person saw my apology, it would make them feel worse, I think.

>>33339372
Very similarly and right in the feels

>>33339440
I mean, you could probably get something more from it, but I wouldn't count on her being stable or able to handle a normal relationship.

>>33339440
She probably might be using you. It's a transactional relationship. Do you want to be a cuck? She shares nudes to people online, not just you.

>>33339680
Why do you think so?

>>33339739
I think it’s because it could be seen as reopening the wounds and reinvigorating the cycle that we used to be in, abusing each other and fighting constantly into the loving and back in. We made each other into monsters and tore each other apart.

Life isn't a movie. Grand gestures declarations and scheming. It's just brainrot. You're tricked into thinking reality is this place where life is impossible but it's not you just have to decide for yourself what's right and not listen to every little piece of media that passes your confirmation bias.

I fucking HATE taking annual leave so much. I've not actually felt anything or had any "fun" or "rest" for days, I feel awful both physically and mentally with zero momentum and will probably return to work feeling worse off for it. I hate my job too, but at least it makes fun things feel a bit fun afterwards. There's a million activities I could do right now but I've spent most of this week slouched on the side of my bed staring out the window whilst cradling my face in my hands. There's so many horrible things I want to say to the few who care about me but I can never say them, and I never will. People think I'm good and mature but I'm full of bitterness and hatred for all things, I'm like one of those edgy absolutist teenagers but without any of the self-assured cockiness. I've saved over £90k on minimum wage through this humiliating, cowardly, empty lifestyle of mine. Was any of it really worth it? The irony of it all is that I have a fairly easy and simple life all things considered, and I can't even cope on that difficulty level. I've been whining on GIOYC about my life like a little bitch for maybe six years now, do you ever learn to cope?

>gf tells her parents about me on thursday
>tells me she's skeptical of whether we'll really work out on friday
>sends me nudes for the first time on saturday, I send her nudes back
>goes silent and says "thank you" after I say I love her over the phone on sunday, says she isn't sure what to say anymore
>cancels our date on monday
>tells me I'm really funny but she thinks I might just be too stupid for her on tuesday (she is right)
>casually goes back to telling me she loves me this morning, tells me I'm cute and sexy today
can I get a medical diagnosis on this?

>>33332857 (OP)
Amber, Moses recently talked to me, told me you'd moved on, got a new boyfriend, "going for the whole tradwife vibe" and it broke my heart all over again, realising how little it's healed over all this time - I know I emailed you but I'm sure its under a wave of Quora emails, so I want to say here, publicly, as I said in my email:

>Sometimes I still wish that I could have married the girl I proposed to

Truthfully I wish I also knew why you pushed me away so hard, accused me of the things that you knew would hurt me the most, painting me as a monster, thinking everyone was out to rape you, asking me to look at porn over you, thinking I was looking to use you for sex when all I wanted was to love and to look after you, have a life and a family with you...
It all hurt, it still does, every single line you said was like a stake through the heart, I wish you told me whatever was truly running through your mind, but no matter how hard I tried to get it out, I could tell those cogs were always turning for the next thing, the next thing to hurt me, the next thing to push me further and further away...
I'd rather you had told me that you fell out of love, you thought I was a broke bum, I was someone not worthy of your love, that I was holding you back, that you were too sick and wanted to let me down easy, all of these things, whilst painful, would have cut the cord, instead of leaving me guessing, even 2 years later, seemingly leaving a mark fresher than the day it happened.

Even after saying all of this, with all the frustration and all the pain, I still wish I could have married you, for the longest time, you were the sunshine to my day, I wish I knew because, I would have loved nothing more than to overcome it with you, whatever it was and be a simple man, a simple father, a simple, good and dutiful husband, getting to look into what were once such loving eyes for the rest of my life.

I wish I wasn't such a fool, but here I am.

I'm in a bad mood and I don't know why. And I don't know what to do about it.

>>33340110
Everyone wants the normie life.
A loving, caring and contributing partner to do the daily mundane life tasks with.
Not unusual, but we often don't get to experience it.

>>33340143
I just wish I knew why she no longer wanted that life with me.

I hate

>>33340184
That is something you would have to ask her, specifically. I wonder the same thing about the one who left me, all the time.

In conclusion, I have decided I was never what they actually wanted in the first place and there isn't anything that I can do to change that. My heart hurts.

>>33340217
I wish I could, last time I tried she basically just repeated back to me what I thought it was, just like before I had left, still desperate to add distance to me.
I was so desperate to do better, all that my messages came out as desperate, because they were one last attempt to save something special, before she blocked me on everything.

I understand why of course, you don't want an ex sending you paragraphs of cope, now I just feel sorrow, because we were so sweet on one another for so long, the turn felt so sudden, the infliction so sharp, the wound is still far deeper than I wish it were.

>>33340049
she doesn't respect you emotionally and is using you for whatever she wants in the moment. that or she has some mood disorder but likely the former. call her out on it don't just get caught in the tides of her life, if that kills the relationship then that confirms it and you saved yourself more heartache.
>t. been there

I haven't been to a dentist in 10 years

I will never accept the version of me you want me to accept. I'm an amazing person, I love and laugh with all my might. I give my entire existence to helping people and if you don't see that it is YOU that is rotten to the core, not me. Have a nice life. I don't care for what you expect me to be, what you want me to be in order to control me. I'm like nature, like my province, wild and free.

>>33340371
Please don't kiss anyone!

Whenever I get thoughts I don't enjoy having, i.e. lustful or suicidal, I immediately internally scream WAAAARRRR inside my head and imagine cool helicopters flying and blowing shit up and armies of soldiers marching and cool big firefights with cool nu-metal and nightcore. Thoughts immediately go away, it works
Not autistic, btw

I felt horrible since yesterday afternoon. The maintenance people came and rang the door bell--for whatever reason hearing the it ring or someone knock on the door leaves me anxious--so when no one else answered the door I did. They came, said there was nothing they could do, and when I said (i hate talking using my voice) they need to tell my mom that she wasn't in her room. They left, I went about my day until I overheard my mother say that she heard what they said but never came out to answer the door or talk to them. This really upset me to the point where I stopped what I was doing and basically did nothing for the rest of day. They came again early this morning while she was out and I pretended to be asleep until around 12:30 PM. They came again this afternoon and I hid the bathroom and shaved my face while she answered the door and let them in. I feel much better now that i'm clean shaven and my ears are clean, but at the same time I realize my actions were petty I probably should've just opened the door.

>>33332857 (OP)
I feel like every home renovation project takes me 10x longer than anyone else. Something always goes wrong and every single time I do something, As soon as I start something, I can't find shit or it's broken. It's endless. I wish I married a guy who is handy. I hate this shit so much and my husband is useless.

The way most people talk about relationships feels so depressing and superficial (not just in terms of looks, people focusing on more surface-level stuff in general). Makes me lose hope of finding someone.

>>33340451
Yet, I absolutely guarantee you want the most attractive partner possible. Everyone does. Men would do anything for a supermodel wife, it's their basic biology, they've cavemen looking for fertile features, nothing more.

>>33340451
Love is like building a fire. There are different ingredients and processes that are important at each stage, but when you get everything altogether, and everything goes just right, a fire can be made that swallows the whole world... or at least seems like it has to those inside. Namaste, Anonymous.

>>33340458
This is the way I look at love now, It' not about actual love, it's about attraction and what that other person can give or offer a person. People are selfish and awful. I'm ready to die, people are crap. Women can love, it's built into their biology to love, to nurture. Men are wired to kill their own offspring in order to mate. They are basic apes, built only to spread their viruses to infect women with their offspring. Males are original evil.

I have urges to kill males. I really do. They don't deserve to live.

Ive been applying to jobs since November. I hate it. I shouldn't have studied CompSci. I fucked everything i made no connections at uni no friends no girlfriend nothing. Not even anything that could help me with my career. I failed to get an internship. I'm so done. Everyday I've been waking up to multiple rejection emails with the same bullshit text. "We received an overwhelming response to the position and whilst your background and experience is impressive, we regret to inform you that we've decided not to progress your application further". Same fucking bullshit every time. I just want a job want to move out start living my life. I want my own space. I want to travel. I shouldn't have believed the lie that uni will help improve my future. 4 years of my life in the bin and half of it wasn't even proper teaching because of fucking covid

>>33340499
If all hookers were to become like Aileen Wuornos, the world would be a better place. Someone here reminded me that she is actually a true hero. That is absolutely true. Men using and abusing women, need to be killed. She did nothing wrong whatsoever. It is men that should be murdered for raping women (for money). Think about it and learn.

At the very least, their testicles should be removed swiftly with a large curved blade.

Agonizing over whether to finally send a confession message
Trying to find a way to word it so that it doesn't come across so weighty, just like a convo like "btw here's this lemme know what you think" instead of some big cringe moment
I don't think that's possible
And I'm pretty sure he's not gonna reciprocate, maybe at one point he would've but I stalled and the vibe changed
This is mostly just to get me to stop being stuck on him. Get concrete proof that it's time to move on
Thought it was different this time, there was actual mutual attraction and flirting but I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and I think I sabotaged that by getting too in my head about it all

It is not only misogyny I hate in 4chan users, it's their strict adherence to the norms and conformity of the day. They're likely to the ones to have believed that lobotomies or blood letting was top science of the day and should be obeyed. Fascists are extremely stupid people. Creative, artsy intuitive people are always ahead of these losers, by decades, if not centuries. This is the truth and I will die by these the truth in these words, God is watching, God knows.

>>33340569
>it's their strict adherence to the norms and conformity of the day
this one is a doozy

how can an individual be so deluded?

how many covid boosters have you had?

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
https://youtu.be/Soa3gO7tL-c?si=_3pu-tA4gqktRH98

I wonder if any of them knew about me
Or if he told them I was dead.

People can look up marriage licenses in a background check. Most of them were probably too retarded to think of that

>>33340499
No one deserves to live

>>33337240
For you. Screw this galaxy

You won't allow me to know you, so yeah we can't have a relationship. I can't follow you because you'll lie to me to get away from me. It wouldn't be right to look at you.

I don't know how I developed such a self-inflated sense of importance when I actively tried not to

Looking back at it, my self harm was a bit like the last bubbles you let out when drowning, just what was left of me dying to what's in place now

I'm scared, I really do like him but I also know I can't fuck around with his heart being he is a widower. This could be a real thing, he even lives in my country and we connect spiritually, deeply. That is very rare and I know we could become something more... I just know and I know he has always liked me, even when his wife was alive. If I go for it, I can never hurt him... that's hard for me. I

>>33340579
Right, exactly. You won't believe me but I'm the reason why we're even having this discussion.

>>33340943
I feel like I should stay away because I feel the potential of this. If I fall for him, that's it for me, I'm done... I feel like this would be deeper than anything before that I had.

Nothing has felt completely real since 2019 when my niece died. Everything since then has felt like a weird dream I'm waiting to wake up from.

They say that lesbian relationships are deeply emotional but I now it would be very deep with him. He is highly emotional and highly capable of deep love. Fuck. I already like him a lot.

You could wave any famous rich handsome guy in front of me and I'd decline... but he is different.

>>33332857 (OP)
I envy people that can find happiness on the little things.
I feel so delusional, so disconnected of reality I find nothing but dissapointment, dispair and the urge for escapism.
I'm miserable, every waking minute. I hate myself. I'm 18 and I've already given up... I hate myself

I'm unable to connect with anyone, I'm too scared of intimacy for that.

>>33340943
She's probably not dead, dumbass.

This woman is so confusing i don't know what she wants

First, we were friends
then she was like "i love you" always wanting to talk, always wanting to speak
Then she goes " i have a boyfriend"
Then goes "i broke up with my boyfriend"
Then shes back with her boyfriend
She messages me today "when was the last time you masturbated to me"

"im like why are you asking". "Why are you asking though??"

Shes like no reason i just wanted to know

So i throw out some random number..

Then she's like I hope you will stop and we can be friends and then blocks me.

Like woman I haven't spoken to you since the 4th of July. After not speaking to me since June.

Stop asking me questions and then getting mad about the answer when i ask you to stop asking me questions!!!!

>>33341219
Lmao dude
Block that psycho
Literally nothing good can possibly come from her

>>33340796
idk either, it scares me

>>33341219
that was a trick question dude. the right answer even if a lie is zero times. and yeah like that anon said she's obviously nuts.

>>33341219
Should've burned the bridge when she got a boyfriend considering she went and got a boyfriend while telling you she loves you and shit. She would've cheated on you without remorse.

Why is it when I'm in my car just sniffing my fingers in private that some gay dude has to walk by and look at me?
Pinche gay dudes

Can the jannys or bots following my moves on this site do what is necessary and kill themselves with mouse cord, you gay subhuman faggots not fit to hold such power and privileges given to you by God Hiromoot

I feel like giving up, im no longer progressing in anything. I keep going backwards, I cant enter any fields of work because you have to know someone to get in. I used to work in a jail and that was shit. My girlfriend "lent" her ear to me but was just talking most of the time instead of listening to what I had to say. I am serotonin depleted and I just want to trip on shrooms just so I wouldn't have to feel this way right now. I am broke and I am going to break mentally if I cant get myself out of this dark hole. Please tell me an easy career to apply for and I will go and apply. I have a TWIC and a jailers license, my own vehicle essentially everything but nothings working for me

Maybe earth moved too fast

>>33341457
Does the centrifugal force around the equator mean people living there are suddenly slightly lighter?

>>33341474
Hmmmm...

i love you so much but please dont take $12 worth of cheese out the fridge and leave it behind your work laptops fan so it gets too hot and sweaty to put back into the fridge

my gf is ugly

>>33332857 (OP)
Why do people pretend to be nice to me?
Why do they lie to me??
Only me.
After everything I've done for them.
WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM??
TELL ME YOU FUCKERS!!

>>33341554
Did you take that anon's $12 cheese and leave it out to sweat?

>>33340394
Ur a bitch. Ur in denial

I got a lap dance from a stripper last week. First time I ever got to see and touch a naked women for the first time in my life yet it was a little disappointing. I was hard but it didn't feel as good as I expected. It's hard to describe the feeling but after all the years of waiting it was kinda boring. Her boobs were fake so that might have something to do with it but it wasn't what I was expecting. I don't think I'm built for 3D love I think I can only love 2D girls. I can't really feel connected to real women the same way I can with 2D girls. I thought touching physically would be worth it but it just wasn't.

>>33341581
Yes

>>33341593
You crave intimacy and love, dumbass
A financial transaction is not that, it's not fulfilling your needs
It will be very different if you can ever get the real thing

>>33341548
why?

Today I secretly overheard some people talking about me, and to my surprise, it was all very positive.
Everyone said that I was a nice guy, said that I was funny, and one person said that I make the workday go by faster. One employee whose been there longer than all the rest shared that when he first met me, he thought I was fake because "No one is really that nice." And he said that he was surprised when he gradually found out that I was genuinely that considerate.

It feels good to know that my peers candidly like me when they usually all talk shit about each other behind one another's back. It gives me a moment to reflect and realize that things aren't always so bad.

>>33341604
I'm still attracted to real girls so you may be right. Idk how to find a girl who can love me though. I have lots of self harm scars and most women would be turned off seeing me naked. 2D girls won't judge my self harm scars

>>33341612
fucked up mouth/teeth

>>33341554
Let's be friends man, im on the same boat
Disc: phimosisjones.

It seems to me that you have lost something.

I think I'm in love with my friend. There are a few reasons nothing cana happen between us. Today was the first time someone playfully teased me for liking her, the first acknowledgment of it outside my own head. It can't happen. I'll likely ruin multiple friendships if it does. I know I shouldn't get hung up but I rarely have romantic feeling for anyone.

The only winning move is not to play. This is gonna suck!

>>33341813
why multiple ?

I just feel pretty tired. I feel lonely. I wish things had worked out with us getting together. I wish you cared. I wish I’d said more. I wish I’d said less. I can see all that I’ve learned from what happened, but I — moving forward seems to turn into moving back. The days are so long, and yet nothing happens. I miss you. I miss feeling happy when I saw you. Why did you have to act like that? Why’d I let you? Why can I forget everyone else so easily and not you? Why do I regret it so much?

God fucking damn
I want it to work with her so bad
Heavy talking and flirting for a month+
Should've made a serious move then
But how the fuck do you make long distance serious, I would've offered to fly out but I was scared it'd scare her off
Now the energy has shifted and I'm worried it's because she moved onto other people. Still talks to me daily but it's not how it was
This shit kinda sucks
Trying to find the person for you is like a slog through the fucking battlefield
Jealous as fuck of people in relationships
Seems like it's literally every single person already has something committed going on while you're wading through bullshit

>>33340301
eh, she apologized to me today for questioning our relationship and says she’s been really down due to hormones and exhaustion from work and personal life. I really love her. Hopefully this doesn’t happen often. There was an episode a bit like it a couple months ago too.

People are strange
When you're a stranger
Faces look ugly
When you're alone


I don't know how people work. What do I say to make good impressions? What do I do to form meaningful connections? Why does even the smallest of affections feel so massive, and the largest so small?

I have friends, I think, but the whole relationship falls on my shoulders. I can't actually do anything with them other than chat, and they never wanna talk to me aside from a stupid one off joke or showing off their work. I have no real love for anyone, and no love from anyone. No... Care.

... I kept one friend from offing himself the other day. Why do I still feel like I should kill myself when I know it's not gonna do anything? Why do I still feel like things would be better if I just didn't live? I know it's not true. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but it feels like I'm gonna collapse before I get there.

I don't know. Feels empty.

On a side note: have this picture of a lizard.

>>33341974
where did you meet her? duo?

>>33341974
>long distance
was never gonna work out

Do I think like a girl? I don't mean this in a "oh wow I'm such a cool heckin tranny with a leaking neovaginia XD time to go groom some kids" type of way.

I just mean, most of the porn I fap to are more story oriented and have cool stories or how when I've contemplated committing suicide I always wanted it to be less messy and more clean so other people don't have to bear as much with my actions and female attempted suicide attempts are generally less violent and successful than men because of this exact idea.

>>33342171
girls dont goon to story, they goon to degrading shit

>>33342131
>duo
Idk what you mean by that
Met her here on 4chan
>>33342132
Unfortunately probably true
But I think it could if I wasn't so cowardly
During the first few weeks if I was open about my feelings and offered to fly out it probably could've been something. It's had too much time for other people to come in and feelings to stagnate now
Not for me, but for her probably. Shit sucks

>>33342231
if you're willing to ldr just get a filipina they're easy af

>>33342219
oh alright, i thought reading was kind of girly though since most book clubs are wahmen

Whatever you don't deal with today will come back to bite you tomorrow. It's like taking out the trash, the longer you wait the worse it's gonna be. You are not avoiding hardship, you are merely postponing it.

>>33342231
>Idk what you mean by that
>>>/soc/duo/

>>33342251
Or as my ex said “be kind to your future self”

>>33342238
this is extremely true lol
flip girls love ldrs with white guys

It sucks that no one comforted me when my older sister passed away. We only shared my dad so my mom didn't know what to do and my father was so far gone he never checked in on me. I still see her in my nightmares.

I fell for her as a woman
But she's trying to be a man now
This is fucking confusing as shit
I don't expect this board to understand
I can't really talk about this with anyone
I'm actually bi, but the shift from the hetero dynamic to a gay one is surprisingly confusing as shit despite being open to both
Idk how many people can empathize with that

>>33342306
same thing happened to me, it was cool we played hockey, soccer and yugioh together. idk why you freak out

HAHA ALMOST THERE

It's time to move on.

>>33341971
What did they act like that caused this problem?

>>33342309
I'm glad it's cool for you
But idk
Something about it is really fucking confusing for me
Like they aren't conforming to the pronoun change
I tried to ask them if it's what they want but they won't answer
So I think it's about the uncertainty
They're detransitioning but it's not a real want, just a manic expression of how they wish they could be
Really fucking sucks
Again this is way more queer than most of this board or people in general can handle so it feels like it's not easy to vent about

>>33341126
He is not like you, dumbass, he would never lie about such a thing. You're rotten to the core though, that much is apparent.

The truth is I like to wallow in misery. I hate joy and prefer rage and hatred.
My porn addiction is turning me into a sociopath.
I pretend that I want to be fixed when deep down I don't

>>33342619
uness you've seen in person evidence, if someone tells you this online and you just believe them youre stupid

>>33341621
It means they're the fake ones anon, its the truth.

>>33341593
Sexual things will feel foreign when you first start out
You won't get deep into sex until you have it regularly with a person
When you start fucking like crazy then your body adapts and you start craving it
After that switch is flipped then you'll want it

>>33343195
I hope I can find love soon anon :( I'm 23 and still a kissless virgin. I sometimes really think I was meant to die in natural selection and just jerk off to anime women

Will we ever be worthy of the years upon years of personal sacrifice that made us who we are today? Will I ever be able to pay it back someday? People sometimes say how it's not our choice to be born, or how just being alive is enough, or how we owe others nothing, but it gets to me sometimes. I'm a weak person, I've only gotten this far through the sacrifice of others. Yet when the people who put all that work in so I could live have problems I can't help but mutter terrible things about them under my breath. For all of their alienating flaws and excruciating foibles that surface time and time again I genuinely believe they harbour me no ill will. I need to change some day. I've known this for many years now.

>>33343601
when I asked my grandfather why he wouldn't put my severely dementiated grandmother in full time nursing care I told my grandfather he'd been a good husband and didn't deserve all this suffering. He said "if I got what I deserved I'd be a lot worse off" and I have never forgotten it. May be relevant to what you're feeling.

I wonder how bad it is that I missed out on most normal milestones (friends/learning how to socialize, girlfriend, moving out, starting a family)
Not 30 yet and I feel okay most of the times, I'm not depressed but I do feel bad about it occasionally. I don't know if I'm autistic, a victim of growing up online or just a coward. Or all combined. I don't really know what do with my life.

FFFFFFFFFFFF I want him to fuck me so bad

https://youtu.be/yjggPrq5ew4?si=eomNsb0C7zhl-7TD

Looks like I will never get a date with this one girl I want, so back to porn and fapping
Such is life

https://youtu.be/Gff8do2rIdk?si=l1J53fyzqTxnIrXR

All I care about is her now. I don't care about the world, what I can do to help. Only she matters to me and I fucked up so bad with her. This is my personal hell, my karma. No male on earth is important to me, just her. I hate being a messed up, flawed human. I hate that we have actual feelings, are sensitive, unlike most other people. I hate people, they're selfish and rotten but not her. She is the only good person I know.

There is karma for everything. Karma for all the men I loved online. Did I even love them? To me, I did, I certainly did and love isn't new to me offline either. I'm just one of those stupid people that is addicted to love, to romance. I don't even want anything else but a friend, someone to listen to me and care for me. Thank you to all the men I've loved, thank you for spending some of your time with me. I'm sorry for hurting you & I hope you're happy in life, with a woman by your side. I want you all to be happy.

Why the fuck am I so stuck on her
I know she doesn't want me anymore she hardly talks to me now
A few short messages a day and then leaves for days at a time
Haven't actually flirted in weeks
I've tried to start it up again a few times but it's hard when you're no longer having real back and forth conversations
I almost wish she stayed ghosting, I think it would've been easier in the long run

When banned, I wish to know what I'm being accused of, instead of your guilty of not following the rules, now be banned, also if I was reported I would like to see who reported me, then I can take my ban, because 4 chan is an wild west watering hole, why? You can't enforce rules without being a tyrant

I take my ban with grace on the accompanying board, Janny was doing his Job
A small explaination other than you broke the rule would be gratifying, and whatever, I'm a participant on that board
Jannies suck at social skills, and the average anons are spiteful brats when you pisted them off
My peace is said
Average anons are evil
Jannies are doing their Job
Peace

>>33340049
If one of the party is unsure of the other, it is a no to the relationship
" say you're beautiful, and we need to move on from this relationship, I love you, and we'll see each other later at "so and so" as friends
Love you, we separate, I'm going home, then leave
She is not crazy or mentally ill, she is unsure of your Husband material
You seem young, go on, find a career, and you'll find a woman who will give you yes vibes and not maybe vibes,
Thanks, and good luck, God Speed, anon

I got a haircut

>>33340049
I see a lot of parallels in this with the girl I've been talking to for awhile
Honestly I fell hard af for her but looking at it rationally the constant switchup vibe is probably not something I should try to stay involved with, it's confusing as hell

Managing is like taking a dumbass kid to the dentist