Hello all, i saw a prostitute the other day. It was the first time i had been with a woman in over a year and a half. She was expensive as fuck and not that attractive which is just a great combo, i dont understand why i even saw her but it had to be because my head was so not straight from being this alone and she had tits so big that i felt it might be worth it.

Ever since then the thing that happens after i see one happened. I am totally disinterested in porn. My mood is significantly better, i feel like i am a part of the human race and society again. I am willing to work harder at my job and give back to society. I in general make effort in my life to improve myself. This has happened over and over again. I become *normal*. The issue is my entire life i have been basically an incel functionally and i seriously think if i had a girlfriend i was active with literally every problem i have in my life could be solved. Because i know for the next month i will be like this, tell i need it again.

What if i could save my money, and instead of seeing them do something else? Like how else does anyone here not have sex once a month and still be fine? Or even physical touch from another person once a month? I am told this is common among normal people, that every dude goes years without it. Just years and years without even so much as a hug. So how are you all not pissed off and irritated all the time? How are you all not depressed all the time? Is there some genetically wrong with me?

I really want this feeling to last forever but as it currently stands i can only get this feeling from another persons body. That is a huge huge problem. Maybe theres some meditation or cbt i can do to myself to like rewire my brain to not see another person as the solution to my life. Maybe release the chemicals needed to mimic this? There has to be some way right? It has to be a mental thing where i think im a loser for not having a woman so when i get one theres a release of emotions because i feel like that chronic issue is "solved". Maybe i can retrain my brain to not see that as a problem and break away from this luxury need.

>>33337812 (OP)
Interesting, well written, and informative. Thank you for sharing.
I get a massage sometimes, once I went to a new place and they offered a happy ending. I paid an extra $50 and have to say the whole experience- 1 hour of lying naked and being massaged all over with warm oil before your penis is massaged- was very nice.

>>33337848
Ive been to a few too. Its cheaper and yes it does feel nice especially if you get someone who knows what they are doing, sure, but its still the main problem, which is having to use another person to get this elevated normal feeling. I still have to use a person who is probably illegal and trafficked to feel like a normal happy person in society. I want to just feel normal all the time. But requiring another person makes it so so much more difficult and complicated. And i am too immature i think to get a girlfriend or keep her. I have so much to learn and develop before i can even think about that but the loneliness is absolutely torturous.

I dont know how other guys do this other than having the confidence to know they could find someone again. I am always in a position of absolute scarcity.

>>33337879
I would also like to live without porn too. Ultimate goal is to live a long happy life without any sexual attraction or romantic attraction at all. I feel like a better person when i do it but i cant seem to do it well. Which is the problem. I would love to just take a pill and get the same experiences that prostitute brought me. No other person needed. Private matter.

>>33337972
I think we can observe our nature and have awareness of our body's needs and find safe ways to keep our body satisfied- without beating ourselves up about it. We are animals with consciousness and have to look after the animal part.
It's OK. Everything is OK. We are having an experience, learning what it is to be human. It's impossible to get existence wrong.
I heard a nice thing once- a wave in the ocean is never wrong.

>>33338006
I agree that its not wrong in its existence, but in the person it inhabits. Tell i change a lot about myself, i cant expect another person. Considering im pushing 30, i think its safe to say that other person will never come. So what i going to do? Keep fucking prostitutes forever? I know what wont make me happy but what other choice do i really have? I tried for almost two years to live without any physical anything and it was tortuously miserable.

This is a problem as old as time.

No one here has a solution to this problem because they are all slaves to lust and cooming. All they know is beating off to porn and sex. You're basically asking an old Buddhist question on how to eliminate suffering. And then you are asking how to eliminate suffering that is a biproduct of what makes us human. Love, affection, relationships, these are what separates us from animals and robots. The problem is you are in a situation where you're made to fight against what shouldn't have to he fought against. What you should get by default. The misery is there because you are rejected.

Anyone?