>>33340682 (OP)Realize that you're human, filled with flaws by default, and can only do the best that you can at any given point to take care of yourself physically, and work on your behaviors.
You're not unloveable. You're trapped in a self-imposed prison of feeling like you are. Try to create an exercise where you force yourself to think of something positive that you're working on about yourself evey time those feelings come up. Take a drink of water, a small snack, something to ground you.