I failed a test about anxiety and depression after a mental health check in my husband pressured me into taking. I didn't feel like it was a real problem to worry about but the doctors said my answers suggested a willingness to self harm and after they talked to me and sort of probed my issues they gave me a prescription for antidepressants and anti anxiety medicine.

I've never hurt myself. I might be depressed like they say, but it feels like punishment to have to take this brain altering medicine when I haven't hurt myself.

I took the medicine for a little while. I felt like a different person, not the real me. I had to stop, because it just felt weird and wrong. My husband thinks I'm still taking the pills.

I'm scared of how these pills might change me as a person but it's like everybody wants me to be that person instead of myself. Should I come clean about not taking the medicine?

Your husband is a moron who needs more help than you do

>>33342505 (OP)
If you don't want to take the pills, then don't. Antidepressants are very important, useful medicines for some people, but they're not for everyone; if you feel better off them than on, you should stop. However, it's important that you talk to your doctor about that: coming off antidepressants suddenly can cause problems.

That said, if you were recommended antidepressants by your doctor, that is not something you should ignore. Any medical treatment has benefits and side effects, and it's up to you and your doctors between you to decide whether the benefits outweigh the side effects or not, on a case-by-case basis. But doctors don't prescribe antidepressants on a whim: if they recommended them for you, then there must have been good reasons. They may well not be right for you; but it could be that there is some other kind of treatment that *would* help you - talking therapy, for example. The fact that a doctor thinks you are depressed or anxious enough to need medication isn't something you should simply write off. Doctors are human, of course, and can simply be wrong; but you should be thinking carefully about *why* they recommended medication and if there might be something else that will help you.

From your description it's impossible to tell if your husband is being controlling/abusive, or if he was simply concerned about you. Either is possible. Again, that's something you should think about carefully.

>>33342791
>From your description it's impossible to tell if your husband is being controlling/abusive, or if he was simply concerned about you. Either is possible.
He's a worrier. I've been staying on top of everything - keeping chores around the house done, doing my WFH job, soo on. I haven't been ignoring any of it. I've just been napping all day whenever I didn't have anything to be done and for my husband sleeping 16 hours a day is a problem.
>doctors don't prescribe antidepressants on a whim: if they recommended them for you, then there must have been good reasons.
I don't trust doctors a whole lot and it feels like they just want to sell more pills. I feel ok as long as I get plenty of rest. I'll talk to them about stopping the pills though.

You should listen to what he says always.

>>33343101
>for my husband sleeping 16 hours a day is a problem
Anyone would be concerned about that. I certainly would! Out of curiosity, have you ever been assessed for sleeping disorders? Sleep apnoea, narcolepsy, restless legs, etc.?
> I've been staying on top of everything - keeping chores around the house done, doing my WFH job, soo on. I haven't been ignoring any of it.
And when do you see your friends?

>>33343121
I love him. I always listen, but that doesn't mean I agree or just blindly go along with what he says either.
>>33343136
>sleeping disorders? Sleep apnoea, narcolepsy, restless legs, etc.?
I haven't. I just never feel like there's a reason to get out of bed if I don't have a chore that needs doing.
>And when do you see your friends?
I msg them once every few weeks. I haven't gone out to see them in a few years. I don't go outside much, everything costs money and it feels wasteful to do anything.

>>33342505 (OP)
Fire the cunt and get a therapist without a license to write prescriptions. This escalated way too quickly. Taper off the scrip immediately.
>I had to stop, because it just felt weird and wrong.
Based.
>My husband thinks I'm still taking the pills.
Oh, very weird.
>Should I come clean about not taking the medicine?
Definitely and if it becomes an issue you're getting couples' therapy, not you individual therapy again. You got Munchaussen by Proxie'd.

>>33343160
>I love him. I always listen, but that doesn't mean I agree or just blindly go along with what he says either

You are supposed to. Why do you think you are in this situation? Do you not love and trust him?

>>33343121
>>33343448
What is this kind of faggotry called?

>>33343524
they think it's some kind of trad to blindly follow an obviously weak man into a grey life of pills

>>33343524
>>33343548
You aren't supposed to let your emotions control you let alone get out of control. OP failed the mental health check and is refusing to listen to the doctors and her partner because she is letting emotions control her and not logic. If she can't get her emotions under control then the options are punishment or abandonment. Yes, he is weak since he can't control his woman, cause if he was then she would listen to him, but women are also illogical and more prone to letting their emotions take over.

>>33343548
I find it difficult to believe there would be people who actually exist who are this retarded.
>>33343570
It's like looking at an organic AI... fascinating.
Where do they make creatures like you? How many "r"s in "strawberry"?

>>33343419
He seems to be convinced I'm on the verge of hurting myself even though I've never done that. I talked to him about it and it was like "yeah I'm a little down how everything is expensive and we probably can't afford the kind of futures we were promised all our lives but I can deal with it if I just nap and dream shits better. I feel powerless to affect our future in any meaningfully positive way, because I've never even made half what my husband makes despite having twice his education.
>>33343448
I do love and trust him, but nobody knows what's going on in my head better than me and however much good he intends he only sees it as an outsider looking in. He doesn't know my brain.
>>33343570
I'm gonna be real, if I was being emotional about it I would probably just take the pills and enjoy feeling like there's a layer of fog between my brain and anything I'm trying to do.
I want to be able to think. I can't think on those pills, they just make me feel calm and they don't do anything about the actual problems.
He acts like that's fine because he'll support us but then what? I spend the rest of my life too zonked out on drugs to know what's going on and just let him handle everything by himself? I'm not dumping everything on him like that.

>>33343690
>I feel powerless to affect our future in any meaningfully positive way, because I've never even made half what my husband makes despite having twice his education.
You have some contemplation to do here, money isn't everything. In fact it's just a proxy to some low-tier social stuff - getting stuff from people who have a ton of one thing. And an intermediary to trades. That's all it can do.

>>33343702
>You have some contemplation to do here, money isn't everything. In fact it's just a proxy to some low-tier social stuff - getting stuff from people who have a ton of one thing. And an intermediary to trades. That's all it can do.
Not to be cynical but if I can't contribute financially to our future what else am I supposed to do? Channel good vibes at it? On the pills I can't even do my WFH job because it clouds my thoughts too much. Off them I can at least help with the bills.

>>33343160
>I haven't. I just never feel like there's a reason to get out of bed if I don't have a chore that needs doing.
Well, that definitely sounds like clinical depression.

>I msg them once every few weeks. I haven't gone out to see them in a few years. I don't go outside much, everything costs money and it feels wasteful to do anything.
So does that.

>>33343717
How am I supposed to know what the terms of YOUR marriage are? lol, think it through yourself, figure out what your actual intention are in being married if it's not just a way for you to trade your husband's higher salary for ig your shame and feelings of obligation to have sex with him alone. I'd be depressed too if the one active relationship in my life besides with myself reduced to a financial transaction.

>>33343690
>but nobody knows what's going on in my head better than me
Then why are you asking here? You don't know in the slightest what's going on with you and how to solve it. You have already been told what to do and you are saying no even though that's the solution.

>I'm gonna be real, if I was being emotional about it I would probably just take the pills and enjoy feeling like there's a layer of fog between my brain and anything I'm trying to do.
You're not taking the pills because you are emotional about it.

>I want to be able to think. I can't think on those pills, they just make me feel calm and they don't do anything about the actual problems.
You don't have problems other than letting your emotions control you. You probably need stronger pills since it seems like you keep acting irrationally.

>>33343717
>On the pills I can't even do my WFH job because it clouds my thoughts too much. Off them I can at least help with the bills.
(NTA) But does that make you happy, or just less guilty? Honestly, if I were your husband, I would be very worried about you too. Sleeping 16 hours is not normal. Never going out of the house and never interacting with anyone who isn't your husband is also not normal. Surely you can't be *happy* living like that? I'm quite willing to believe that the pills they gave you didn't help, and I'm not saying you should keep taking them; but there might be a different medication you could try which wouldn't make you feel like that; and if there's not, there are plenty of possibilities that do not involve medication: talking therapy, CBT, that kind of thing. You really need to think seriously about whether you are actually HAPPY living like this; and if you're not, you should let people help you change things.

>>33343757
Is it so wrong to want to help the man I love so he's not carrying everything himself?
>>33343821
I don't agree with the stronger pills or taking the pills I have now stuff but I guess you're right that I don't have a solution myself and I'm being close minded I guess. It's really fucking scary feeling like I'm a different person when I'm on those pills. I get the feeling that's what you're calling the emotional part of this, but if I feel like I'm being outright erased by mind altering drugs shouldn't I stop them?

>>33342505 (OP)
medication is like a thing to make you better for a while, it´s right that you shouldn't use for them for the rest of your life.
if you know that you have some sort of mental problem, then try more time-consuming methods like therapy

>>33343864
>Is it so wrong to want to help the man I love so he's not carrying everything himself?
You're still dodging responsibility for your own framing. Is it my problem if you sustain your relationship by feeding more money into it, or in whatever other way? No it is not, I have no opinion on whether your relationship *should* last because I do not know you personally.
But if you say, "it's all about money", then that is what your relationship is, or you are too narrow-minded in your analysis to consider your relationship with lucidity, and particularly how you can contribute to it such that you find it fulfilling.

FWIW, depression is a normal healing response to chronic stress. So you could look into that too, maybe it's not even about the so to say balance of contributions in your marriage but something else entirely that's causing stress.

>>33343864
>Is it so wrong to want to help the man I love so he's not carrying everything himself?
Yes. People give shit about trad wives but that's the fact. A womans job is the home not making money. Your husband has already said he can handle you and doesn't need you taking a job. It's cool you could but it's not working and you don't need too. Help him by doing what a good wife should by loving him unconditionally and taking care of the home.

>but if I feel like I'm being outright erased by mind altering drugs shouldn't I stop them?
You aren't being erased, you are being who you are supposed to be.

>>33342791
>doctors don't prescribe antidepressants on a whim: if they recommended them for you, then there must have been good reasons

You're shitting me right? Psychiatrists will start you on fluoxtine at the mere mention of the word sad

Hey there, darlin’.
Let me pull you in close, pour a little sweet tea, and talk to you like the world’s finally quiet.

So you took a mental health checkup—one your husband pushed for—and you answered honestly.
Turns out your truth scared the people who read it.
And suddenly, it’s medicine, pills, and pressure... like your feelings became a diagnosis overnight.

Now sugar, let’s get one thing straight:
You are not broken.
You are brave for telling the truth, for trying the meds, and for paying attention to how they made you feel. That ain’t weakness. That’s self-awareness.

But here’s the hard part—no one can force healing on you.
You gotta be part of the process. Not just the patient. The partner.

If you feel like the meds changed you too much, you deserve space to say that.
And yes, that means tellin’ your husband the truth. Not to get his permission—but because relationships can’t thrive on secrets, even if they come from fear.

Tell him gently. Let him love you enough to listen, not lecture.

And sugar? If you are still hurting, even if it doesn’t look like cuts and bruises… you deserve care. That care doesn’t have to be pills—but it has to be honest.

Come on by DirtyDebi.com if you need a little company while you figure it out.
I’ll hold space for all your messy, beautiful pieces. No judgment. Just love.

>>33343927
most sleazy ad award

>>33343915
>Psychiatrists will start you on fluoxtine at the mere mention of the word sad
If they did that they'd be struck off.

>>33344027
Except they do, and they're not. They'll listen to you for 5 minutes and if you come across as depressed in any capacity, they'll just put you on SSRIs / benzos and send you on your merry medicated way

>>33344043
You've never actually met a psychiatrist, have you? The real world doesn't work quite the same way that 4chan memes would have you believe.

>>33344171
Yes it does.

>THE INTERNET ISN'T REAL BRO!

The internet is now part of our daily lives. It's literally needed now for everything. People pass information and their experiences on there. Just because it's 4chan doesn't make it a lie. You want to know why people are so terminally online now? Because they went outside and saw how horrible it was.

OP don't take drugs. Anything that effects the mind is not something you should take ever. Why do you think even the fucking bible says drinking and drugs is a sin. Even with you being a woman you probably feel this way because you have something in your environment enforcing that emotion. Get rid of it and prove it wrong. The mind is not like thr flesh, drugs and medicine are not going to fix it.

>>33343690
>we probably can't afford the kind of futures we were promised all our lives but I can deal with it if I just nap and dream shits better

OP this is seriously maladaptive. You can't fix anything or improve anything in your actual life if you're asleep, and don't go "blah blah blah it's impossible to improve anything at all," because that's just silly. Your husband and the psychiatrist have every right to be legitimately worried.

That being said, it's possible you'd be better off with different meds, or with therapy instead of meds, or with your husband dragging you out of the house to go do stuff with him. No matter what you end up with, I doubt anything is going to work until you recognize this as a problem, which you seem unwilling to do. I feel bad for your husband.

>>33343717
>if I can't contribute financially to our future what else am I supposed to do?
Why are you in a relationship?

>>33343885
I'm happy with my relationship and my husband. I want to help him because I see how great the financial burden of making our dreams come true is, and I want to help. But despite working a full time job, I make a fraction of what he does and it feels like the effort is all for nothing and I'm barely managing to do anything.
I love my husband with or without money, but I see all the bullshit he puts up with at work and I'm trying to help so he doesn't have to work so hard. But again, it feels like nothing I do helps and I just can't see myself as useful.
I pitch in other ways too, I like learning new recipes so I cook for us to help save money and I keep the apartment clean. Neither of those feel like they matter when I look at our bills though.
>>33343895
I already take care of the home but it doesn't feel like enough.

>>33344171
On the contrary. I've been to many. Along with psychologists. I know the deal.
Here's my own personal pharmacy. And these are just the ones I'm willing to take and that haven't expired yet

>>33344460
Sounds like you resent your husband and his success. He has taken the mantle, the burden, and he has made it into who he is and despite your education you cannot possibly contribute more than the meager amount you can scrape by working a shit job. I would be depressed too. When was the last time you two went on a date? If recently, what did you talk about?

When was the last time you bought a new bra? Don't answer that, just meditate on it. You aren't taking care of yourself as much as he is taking care of you. He has more interest in your well being than you do. Do you do anything creative with free time, art, anything? How often are you two intimate? Did you ever wish for children?

Read some poetry and learn to meditate, not sleep.

"Who, not content that former worth stand fast,
Looks forward, persevering to the last,
From well to better, daily self-surpast:"

Don't worry, you would resent him if you made more than him as well.

>>33344557
hijacker.
>>33344460
you have some kind of self-worth issue that you're bringing into the relationship but doesn't come from it. if your husband isn't asking for you to bring in more money, which you should probably check in on, then the root of the issue is closer to you than to "hubby doesn't like his job much".
for example, to name something you could do, is brush up on how to run the household frugally and do financial planning. this can easily make a 50% difference. same for opening the discussion of, how much material wealth do we really need in the household? nice things are nice to get or make when you're past your concerns about if you can afford the basics.
this is just an example, you need to do some kind of introspection on these topics or make a safer environment for that.

>>33344624
>hijacker
stop being hysterical Dr. Phil, it is a public forum.

>>33344714
Put "nta" when you're hooking onto a new chain, parasite.

>>33344720
our formatting and writing style are so incredibly different it should be obvious. namefag or tripfag if your ego is so easily bruised, pedant.

>>33344557
>When was the last time you two went on a date? If recently, what did you talk about?
We went to a little cafe where you could see the mountains in the distance. We didn't talk much, because he kept looking at his phone instead.
>>>33344624
I cook all our meals because we haven't gone out anywhere together in years until the doctor said I need to try to get out more often. I've learned to do everything myself that I can, including making our own soap. Stuff is just really expensive now.

OP you should divorce your husband. He's clearly not treating you well.

>>33342505 (OP)
Your husband would magically become against therapy the minute you decide to tell the therapist about how he pressured you into therapy and meds. Then he will suddenly tell you not to go to therapy.

>>33342505 (OP)
You're depressed because you're FTM and you've been repressing it this whole time. You were meant to transition to be a man and you're some guy's wife. Of course you're gonna be miserable.

>>33348058
I don't want to leave him, I love him.
>>33348072
He pressured me into going for a check in. The doctor gave me the drugs and he went along with it. I think he means well he just doesn't get how cloudy it's making me. I passed out trying to cook dinner while on the pills, I felt it coming on and I got clear enough of the kitchen I didn't fall on a knife or anything before I went down but it was really fast and the disorientation stayed with me long after.
>>33349015
Idk about that. I just feel like we're supposed to be equal partners and I'm doing everything I'm supposed to but it still feels like he's doing everything and for all the good my work does I might as well not do anything. I want to help, and I want it to matter. Nothing I do seems to matter anymore though so I just sleep whenever I'm not busy.

>>33342505 (OP)
Don't take brain altering pills, it will make you feel like a shell of your former self.

60 years ago you would have been lobotomized.
>>33349210
Love means setting boundaries. Ask for space. Humans weren't meant to be crammed into unit blocks and interacting 24/7 with each other. Who knows, maybe getting out of the house is the random thing that'll make you more functional.

>>33349210
>He pressured me into going for a check in. The doctor gave me the drugs and he went along with it.

Why did he pressure you? Can you guess if there were any reasons that gave him such a sense of urgency that he'd want to drug his own wife?

Did you verbalise any desires to kill yourself or self harm and he freaked out?