>finally find a girl with similar goals that doesn't want kids after years of loneliness
>she doesn't like anything i like in bed and always wants to turn the lights off
Is it even possible to recover this, or is it just going to lead to resentment from one of us?

>>33344833 (OP)
LOL. Monkey's paw strikes again! Search criteria issue.

>>33344833 (OP)
How often do you have sex? Do you get shut down a lot? Does she even truly enjoy sex? Answer all of these. It's important in determining if she even likes it in the first place, if she's even attracted to you, etc.

if Chad just got home from soccer and told her to lick his asshole she would

Don't settle for partners that aren't attracted to you

>>33345073
I was gonna say if you're at the point of coming here for advice just break up but yeah this too. If you're incompatible gtfo before it becomes 30 years later and worse

>>33344833 (OP)
>oh no muh kinks

who cares bro, do you shove a sharipe up your pooper with clothes pins clamped on your nipples when you jack off? or are you just sitting there jacking off

>>33344833 (OP)
lights off so she can't se you?

>>33344833 (OP)
i agree with what >>33345022 said, is sex even something she's interested in? if not, yeah, you should break up with her. if she's just not willing to indulge your crazy kinks (and tell us if they're reasonable or not. are you asking for kinda rough sex or are you asking her to peg you? different things...), then you should re-evaluate the amount of porn you watch (if any), and focus on finding a sexual dynamic that works for both of you.

the turning the lights off to me suggests insecurity? maybe reassure her that you find her beautiful and really enjoy having sex with her.

>>33345022
It's about once a week now. Sex has always been only at her initiation. Was pretty much every time for the first 2 months, which I recognize is not reasonable.

However she wants me to pull out 80% of the time even though I had a vasectomy, it's always a struggle to even get her to leave the lights on, she almost never returns oral, can't do some positions bc of my size, doesn't like any butt stuff whatsoever and in general is massively insecure about herself and her body.

I just actually got her to let me eat her ass the other day and she said she didn't hate it but now she doesn't want to do it any more.

>>33345190
Yes. I'm in shape with abs though, she is insecure about her body

>>33345197
I reassure her all the time and she thanks me for it. She's extremely damaged and suspicious about the way I treat her because of bad past experiences. I'm trying to cope with her issues but it's hard. She just started therapy

>>33345345
>I reassure her all the time and she thanks me for it. She's extremely damaged and suspicious about the way I treat her because of bad past experiences. I'm trying to cope with her issues but it's hard. She just started therapy

Bro. I'm gonna be honest. She might be too damaged to be fixed. And even if she *could* be fixed, it's something SHE has to do herself. You can't do that for her. It's not your responsibility to care more about her than she does about herself.

It's a man's job to be 90% father and 10% lover. Maybe 80-20 but you get the point. And women are like clay: they can be molded to reflect the light of the man she's with....up until around the age of 23-25. Then she hardens into whatever shape she was in at that time. She's basically the way she's gonna be for now on at that point.

So what is a potter to do? Take the hardened clay, wet it, try to force it and manhandle it into a new shape? Or is it easier to just throw it out and get some fresh clay?

Some things are out of our control as men. And fixing a bitch (no disrespect, just a general term) is one of those things bro.

>>33345373
Maybe it's a sign because she herself has said I deserve someone without all the baggage. Every girl I've ever been with has been damaged as fuck.

If therapy doesn't help her and she doesn't change, it's definitely gonna be miserable. Especially with her poor communication and coping skills.

>>33345385
She's just a real life projection of what's going on with you, no offense. Not necessarily that you're damaged. But something about you keeps attracting damaged women. It's familiar. You're used to it. You're comfortable in it. Otherwise you wouldn't tolerate it, no? So to be honest, until you work on yourself, get to your true foundation of who you genuinely and truly are and build up from that, you're gonna keep attracting damaged ass bitches who never fully give you what you're looking for. It's just gonna be on repeat over and over and over until you decide you don't want to deal with this stuff anymore.

>>33344833 (OP)
kys degenerate

>>33345397
>You're comfortable in it. Otherwise you wouldn't tolerate it, no
Yes that's definitely true. They're always like a decade older than me too

I feel like I have a little more sway this time because she's anxious attachment whereas all the rest were avoidant. However any little changes she's made so far haven't lasted.

I know who I am now more than I did before. It honestly feels like I'm the adult in this relationship and babying her. Despite her being 8 years older. The fuck

>>33345443
> It honestly feels like I'm the adult in this relationship and babying her. Despite her being 8 years older. The fuck
You literally are, anon. Put age aside. Most women don't emotionally develop past the age of 14. This is why a man's job is 90% father and 10% lover. No matter the age, they usually are mentally still children. Keep this in mind the next time you have an argument or you have a tantrum or you get weird ass questions like "would you still love me if I were a worm". Shit makes a LOT more sense lmao.
>I feel like I have a little more sway this time because she's anxious attachment whereas all the rest were avoidant. However any little changes she's made so far haven't lasted.
She's a broken vessel. You can pour water into her and it'll hold for a while, but it eventually spills out of the cracks and returns to the way it was before. Again, throw out the hardened stuff and get fresh clay.
>I know who I am now more than I did before
Honestly, you're ahead of the curve. Most people don't even start that process. But lets be clear: you clearly still have some work to do, no offense. But so do I. I'm not holier than thou. I'm in the same boat. Being as aware as we are, we see the areas where we're slacking and can do better. It's those things. And it's always within our ability; never something extreme or crazy. And no matter how much time we waste, whether it's trying to manage broken women or beating off to porn, the work has to be started at some point. Either that or we stay in the same exact place forever. And I've got to say "fuck you" to that shit. Hell no, lol.

>>33345345
nigger you are putting your mouth where poo poo comes out
that's not fucking normal no matter how much porn tries to make it seem
she's the normal one, you're a fucking FREAK and should kill yourself

>>33345457
>Being as aware as we are, we see the areas where we're slacking and can do better. I
The work for me is in learning when to let go. Always has been

She's been the most promising prospect by far so it's hard. She's only been in therapy a few weeks so I haven't given up yet, but I'm putting the breaks on moving in unless she can get her shit together.

>>33345466
Maybe, but refusing to reciprocate oral or let me cum inside is not cool. I only do that like 20% of the time and it's begrudgingly

>>33345345
>I'm trying to cope with her issues but it's hard. She just started therapy
This isn't the only sign, but there's quite a few signs here that she's not really in the best mental state. She doesn't sound fully ready for a relationship and the bad sex is just a symptom of that.

Dating a deeply insecure and "damaged" girl is our male equivalent of a gal who dates a drug-addicted, jobless NEET who has given up on life. Whilst the female can support the male to improve himself, she really shouldn't have to. Likewise, you should not, heck, cannot fix her.

Most anons here instantly recognised that this is a girl with substantial baggage and unresolved issues. I personally wouldn't even date a girl in that stage unless I could truly see that she was at the tail-end of her recovery. You unfortunately got involved and now it's going to be harder to leave. Did you not see this early on?

>>33345466
shut up virgin, eating beautiful women's asses is based

>>33345631
>there's quite a few signs here that she's not really in the best mental state. She doesn't sound fully ready for a relationship and the bad sex is just a symptom of that.
An understatement to be honest. I've known from the beginning, and she also indicated she doesn't know how to act in a, but I cut her slack because she's been different from the rest in the sense of being honest and thoughtful. The problems came to a head on the last vacation where she totally shut down and threw tantrums over little inconveniences. I thought it was over right there but she agreed to go to therapy.

I don't even know if non damaged women exist to be honest

>>33345715
She's not different, she's the same in a different way, my friend.

There absolutely are undamaged women - although they are rare. More importantly, there are more women who are damaged *but* have overcome their issues, just as every man has to. Those are the women you'll probably get along better with.

We're all human, we all make screwups or have meltdowns that seem like the be-all and end-all, but then we get over it. There's a difference between that and a deep, ongoing personal issue that ensures you cannot stick to the straight path until you fix it.

>>33345863
>More importantly, there are more women who are damaged *but* have overcome their issues, just as every man has to. Those are the women you'll probably get along better with.
Well, I guess we will see if she has the potential to become one of those. Thanks anon

>>33345466
what a fucking pussy i'm sure this nigger can't eat a burger with tomato in it. FUCKING PATHETIC