I feel sort of wrong for doing them, although I can't put into words, why I feel bad it? At first, I justified it to myself by saying "I'm getting more practice in" But that isn't enough.
Why are casual hookups bad?

>>33347817 (OP)
are you a woman?

>>33347817 (OP)
They don't fulfill your emotional needs and likely remind you of that every time you engage in them. Think of it as a form of procrastination.
>Why are casual hookups bad?
They're not bad, they're just unlikely to help you fulfill anything besides your immediate sexual needs.
>>33347846
Men get lonely too.

>>33347817 (OP)
That's your conscience. You can just keep ignoring it and doing what you're doing until you're dead inside.

>>33347817 (OP)
bump

>>33348045
Fuck you, I already gave you an answer, faggot. There's no magic solution. Either keep doing what you know is wrong and die inside or don't. Do you need someone to hold your hand?

>>33348083
you know, I was looking for other responses? I don't see the harm in that, I wasn't saying you were wrong??

>>33347817 (OP)
> More
So you are already spoiled then..
Sad. I hope you regain some of what you lost.

>hookup culture
are you gay?

>>33349971
like purity? Does that make me used goods?
>>33347846
>>33350025
Not really relevant, think more general

>>33352878
It's very little to do with purity for the most part.
It's just retarded for men and even heart breaking to realize that they have to work hard for physical affection that will let your emotional connections become manifest if he sticks at it for a long time. But you know also sometimes you just let some people skip they whole process...just not the guys you like.

Purity matters but most men are tired of working there ass off in relationships to get half of what women give randoms when they are board.

>>33352929
There is no reason to have sour grapes. Just date women who wanted to hook up with you to begin with.

>>33352951
Who would want to hook up in the first place?
Don't be disgusting.

>>33352956
Women.

>>33352963
Yes, and it's disgusting.
Women acting disgusting... Yes.

>>33352970
If you had the ability to do it effortlessly (like women do) then you would've had hookups a long time ago. Everyone likes sex.

>>33352977
Not when it's meaningless.
I get why people who can have it effortlessly but I have to work for it and have said no many times.

>>33352878
>Not really relevant

No, it is very relevant. Sleeping around is shit behaviour no matter the sex. But if you are a woman, it’s a whole degree more reckless and damaging than being a man doing it. You have a uterus. Men don’t. You get pregnant, and men don’t. One fuck up means some poor kid either has to grow up fatherless, or have its fetus head crushed in with forceps, its limbs removed, and the carcass vacuumed out of you. Those are called abortions. So yes it is relevant. If you are a woman, you have a higher standard to adhere to. Not just for potential kids sake, but also your own.

>>33347817 (OP)
>I sort of feel wrong for casual hookups
>Why are casual hookups bad?

So to answer your question OP, you feel bad because its inherently psychopathic behaviour. You don’t dint have to be a psychopath to act out a psychopathic activity. Why is it psychopathic? Its all about short term gain using another human being as a prop, a tool, to get that gain.

Thats the essence of psychopathy, really. Use someone else for an end, with little to no actual care or empathy of consequences for you or the person you use. Its the definition of psychopathic.

Doesnt matter about consent or if the other person is playing the same game. Outcome is still the same, using other people as a prop to please yourself. Thats why it feels shit. Its also why you can’t put it into words, its because such a way of life is so anti-human that human language struggles to make sense of its deranged aspects.

>>33352986
Masturbating is meaningless, isn't it? But most people do it for a physical release. It's probably more fun to have a hookup than to sit at home alone.

>>33352989
Yes. Masterbation is negative.
> But people do it so it must be ok.

Ok I am realizing you are just trying to justify your own short fallings.

>>33352993
So how long have you gone without masturbating?

>>33353006
Would it change its morality or how disgusting it is?
Is it more moral because it is common?

>>33353012
I mean, pooping is gross, but you have to have the physical release or you might run into issues.

>>33353014
Weak metaphors.
Just understand you are gross.

>>33353020
You're jerking off though, so how can you claim to be morally consistent? At least I am free from self-judgment and I can spend my energy on better things.

>>33353024
When did I say I was not disgusting also?
I simply am not trying to justify my actions because "I also poop everyday" that being your logic.

>>33353033
I need no justification for actions that I consider amoral. It's for you. This is the advice board and I'm offering advice.

>>33353036
Oh it's an advice board so let me restate my advice.
Casual sex is disgusting.

>>33353055
That's not advice. That's your personal preference which has no bearing on the reality of how most people interact.

>>33353061
Again you are appealing to normality.
A huge part of what is normal is disgusting and immoral .

No person should ever be comfortable accepting themselves for who they are.

>>33353082
I would argue the opposite. What you think is virtuous is actually a form of deprivation and you might be stagnating in your life by refusing to engage.
You think normal people are engaged in heinous acts, but actually they are doing better than you and you're trying to cope with that by assigning morality to it.
Kind of how being rich is usually considered by religion to be immoral, because the poor people who go to churches need to feel good about themselves.

>>33352987
>Cont

For >>33347817 (OP)

Casual hookups are also shit because whatever feelings of low self value you struggled with, or self esteem, or whatever is made worse from hookups. Same way alcohol makes depression worse. People do it at first to take the edge off, temporary way to numb or forget misery or stress. Short term. It absolutely works. Long term it makes everything worse. Forgetting problems = you never confront them. Problems grow, become bigger than you can chew, then you sink into hell.

Hookups do the same thing. Short term gain, you get to feel special wanted sexy handsome attractive potent desirable whatever. Then that void inside starts blowing a chill again. You sleep around again, and again, and again. Void inside gets worse and worse. You don't immediately notice it, but it's a slow descent. By the time you notice, you're already neck deep in suicidal ideation.

Because every time you fuck and dump, or hit and quit, or use someone or get used by someone for only a time, it reinforces the belief that no one truly wants you. It recreates whatever it was on life that gave up on you. Whether that's absentee dad, or neglectful mom. Or the cunt ex gf or psychotic bastard ex bf. Whatever it is. It recreates the same process of

>Someone feigns interest in (you) as a person
>They connect sexually
>Sometimes mentally
>Never emotionally

They leave, they fuck off or you leave and fuck off. Bottom line is, you program yourself into normalizing a reality where you are not worth sharing a life with. Only good for one thing, and everything else you got to offer? Nah not worth it. Who cares.

That's the mindset you cultivate unconsciously each and every time you go for hookups.

You will notice it reaching it's cold and sad conclusion the minute you witness yourself in the act of bedding someone, physically on them or under them, skin to skin. And yet there's nothing there. You feel alone even in the most intimate physical act humans can share.

What good is "getting practice in" for someone you won't be maintaining the practice with? Everyone is different. Getting good at one girl isn't going to transfer for another. Not really. If you think it's practicing anything, that's just you making an excuse to engage in poor behavior for yourself and others. You aren't honing some skill, you're just using bodies and letting yours be used.

The reason people feel bad about hooking up is because you're making the process of sex entirely transactional and remove the spiritual facet of it. I don't mean it in a religious sense, but in the sense that you are resorting to just instinct of the lizard brain, and repressing the needs of the higher functioning neurological desires. Humans are complex, and sex is much more psychologically involved for us than other animals.

You can do what you want, but you are conditioning yourself when you do-- that is the only thing being "practiced," the dehumanizing of your own body in that space with others. It doesn't technically make you immoral in a natural sense, in a vaccuum, but in regards to everyone else, I believe it does. In that these behaviors ripple through society and cause all of us to forego the humanity involved in out actions, and just relapse to animal behavior and simply use each other, and when everyone behaves this way, we all lose human decency, and start seeing everyone as a means to an end instead of a fellow human.

In short, it's selfish and encourages selfish behavior. That's why hookups are bad. In the grand scheme, it is literally degenerative for both communities and the individual soul. It reveals a character that takes you closer to your animal self instead of your higher potential as a human. But I don't need to type this out. You know this. We all do. You just don't care. No one does these days. We all know better on some level, but you decide to fall short anyways. That's why you feel bad.

>>33353097
>Kind of how being rich is usually considered by religion to be immoral, because the poor people who go to churches need to feel good about themselves.

That's not how the religious regard the rich. There's a difference between being rich and being wealthy. The wealthy understand the importance of money, but do not seek money for the same of money. The rich only seek money for money's sake. In this respect, you can be wealthy while having little money. Or a lot.

Money is not the root of the evil. The love for money is. The phrase and attitude of religious view against money has been taken out of context and misworded so many times in pop-culture. Is what it is.

God does not hate people who have a lot of money. God cares about that person's relationship to money. It's not about the money. It's about desire for money. If the desire is purely for money for money's sake, it's avarice. If the desire for money is to support, assist and grow life, especially the lives of others, like family or those you care for as well as your own wellbeing, it's fine.

Poor people aren't automatic saints in religion. Poor people can still have avarice and commit the sin of greed. Look at any poor person who wins the lottery, the ones who immediately spend it on booze drugs whores cocaine fast cars and mansions that have so many rooms yet the poor lucky bastard has no one to fill it with. That's avarice.

Anyway you should look into sin, what sin actually means, and why religion warns against it. It's not arbitrary rules for self righteous pride. They are warnings to denote acts of spiritual self-harm. That's what sin is, spiritual self harm. Acts that in the long term completely ruin you inside and out.

>>33347817 (OP)
Oh and lastly OP. You should quit hookups because you deserve the banquet, not the breadcrumbs. You are worth much more than just hookups. Doesn't matter if you already did them. Doesn't matter if you don't feel worth it. You are worth more anyway. If you cannot feel that, at least act it.

>>33353112
>What good is "getting practice in" for someone you won't be maintaining the practice with? Everyone is different.
Valid

>It reveals a character that takes you closer to your animal self instead of your higher potential as a human.
So, stop with the short answers to impulses? Because going by impulse doesn't make you a smart logical human being, rather a monkey that eats grass and masturbates in public.

>get used by someone for only a time, it reinforces the belief that no one truly wants you.
Here's what I'm not understanding, for a moment I am wanted, by giving good head, and being there for someone when they need something to ease, while I might not be there for their whole life, I am there when called, and such both parties feel good. What's so wrong about that?

>You feel alone even in the most intimate physical act humans can share.
This idea also works on porn too, you are ruining yourself, by mass consumption of things that should be, sacred, which being love? Am I getting this right? I mean I sound holy when I worded this.

i support just investing in dating a person you can fuck regularly. im not a 50 y/o in a loveless marriage, but i dont think sex between two loving people could get old

>>33355670
That's monogamy. A relationship. It's not dating anymore if you're settled into fucking a singular person and have terms to remain monogamous, then have other benefits to it

>>33355293
You're only quoting what I wrote with the first two quotes. I'm not the anon preaching saying it reinforces some "unwanting belief." I don't know what he's on about.

My point is that it's bad for you to condition yourself to view sex as just hooking up. From a moral sense to others and yourself. Not everyone sees sex the same way. If you and a hoe want to just use your bodies, you can do that, but our functioning society falls apart when everyone follows those selfish hedonistic ideals because we stop being considerate of others and you devalue your own body as nothing more than a pleasure seeking object. You obsess with the outwards and not the inwards. It's no better than being an addict to drugs or alcohol. You chase base impulses and allow yourself to follow a mindset where you disregard the consequences of your actions.

You can argue that two adults who agree to hook up and fuck and have nothing else to it isn't harmful, but it's the same as arguing that drug supplying isn't harmful. It takes two to dance that dance and you are enabling others to also act without thought for consequence.

And the consequence is what we see now in society. The dating market is horrible, people use each other and then discard them and then THAT transforms the dating culture. Everyone feels like they aren't "getting enough" or are being exploited, and no one wants to work on a real relationship because they can just numb themselves with sex from someone else and act like there won't be consequences to fucking around and getting involved with another real human. Then when consequences come, they will ghost or run and just repeat the cycle. It's a hurtful practice no matter how you look at it. For yourself and those you engage with in it. You just set yourselves up to run and never be happy instead of utilizing discipline and effort to strengthen and appreciate what you have with a person. It's the prisoner's dilemma. Everyone tries to win by betrayal and we all lose.

>>33352987
>If you are a woman, you have a higher standard to adhere to.
The man that sleeps with her is equaoly responsible for the pregnancy you dumb mongoloid

>>33352977
>If you had the ability to do it effortlessly (like women do) then you would've had hookups a long time ago.
Thank you for reminding everyone civilization only works when women's freedom is brutally restricted.

>>33353014
>Jerking off is something you have to do every day
>>33353024
>You're jerking off though, so how can you claim to be morally consistent?
>You're an alcoholic, how can you tell others that drinking is bad for you and they shouldn't do it as an alcoholic?
I say all of this as someone who jerked off today and probably will again. Literally the first step of solving any problem is recognizing it as a problem, as long as you've done that you're on the journey

You're a gross homosexual, or worse an Indian (those dirty little fuckers love justifying touching themselves and gooning and watching porn).

>>33355789
>My point is that it's bad for you to condition yourself to view sex as just hooking up.
Okay, I'm starting to get it, how am I supposed to value sex, an act with emotional depth and intimacy, when that same act can be done with a stranger (for the sake of the argument). Doing hookups reduces the impact that sex, is supposed to have?
>no one wants to work on a real relationship because they can just numb themselves with sex from someone else
And because hookups, people can just get sex, without the effort of a real relationship. And the consequence to that action, is removal of the importance of sex, the emotional depth and intimacy of that act. (small problem is what if someone doesn't care about sex, is there something wrong with them?)
>You're only quoting what I wrote with the first two quotes.
Yeah, I agree mostly with what you said in the post, I try to comment for clarification.

I'm starting to get it now, what should I do instead to fill the void of loneliness?

>>33357495
>(for the sake of the argument)
clarification, is for how it's easy to get sex from a app.

>>33356051
It seems like civilization is working. All the incels are doing is posting their grievances on the internet, it's not a legitimate threat.

>>33357495
I can't answer all of your questions. These are things you ask and answer yourself. There's this eternal debate about these things. Nature or nurture? Some people are made for one and done, others sleep around forever, some people fall down the middle, fuck around moderately and then settle down. Everyone has their own path.

Our society used to encourage and punish acts that strayed from the "one and done" path. It used to be the other extreme. I think personally you should strive for real human connection and a real relationship with a person when you try with them. Morally, I think it's the right thing to do. But you have to be real with yourself, and if things don't work, you should be clear and honest about it, take it as a learning experience and be careful when you do enter a sexual relationship with another person. Notice I'm saying a relationship-- not a hook up. Doing it this way keeps you considerate, and stops you from burning your candle at both ends. You really shouldn't enter into these things with a "me me me" mindset, even if everyone else seems to be doing that too.

A relationship should be founded on respectful giving of yourself, not just your body. I say respectful in both ways-- don't simp and degrade yourself either. It's a sad state we're in now. It's understandable that people fall into these behaviors, but you asked about filling a hole of loneliness. Fucking around carelessly is not the solution.

You have to be okay with being alone, and then treat another human relationship as a privelege, and not something to fill a hole, because you won't appreciate or respect or want to maintain it if you keep seeing it that way. Don't take it for granted. That's maturity. And many in the dating pool aren't reaching the maturity needed to maintain relationships long term. They think it is granted, and easily replaceable, but somewhere we know it's a bad trade off, to use others and ourselves in that way. Isn't that why you ask?

>>33357495
>>33358434
To continue:

There is no "way you are supposed to," not technically. I mean there are tribes practicing polygamy right now out in some third world country, and how they do it in the context of their culture might work for them. That may be the sex answer for their lifestyle.

Assuming you're in the western world, we're facing an unprecedented dilemma with the answer to this question. How do you navigate sexual relationships in the modern world? Our culture was initially founded on Christian values, and this is why a lot of our society thrived. People commited to each other, at least on the surface, and that answer was mostly solved, so we got to work dealing with other issues, and men could be motivated by a good relationship with the opposite sex.

Now we are in a transformative era of all of these ideals-- possible a deterioration. You have the choice to maintain a traditional way of things that is dying for your own sake and at your own risk, or give in and just do what everyone else does and encourage the degenracy. You have your choice to make. How you get what you want is up to you, but you need to understand that however you proceed, that IS your choice.

If you keep hooking up that's what you choose, so at least admit that, and don't be like these dumb whores with 20+ bodies still complaining they haven't "found the one," when their actions aren't lining up with that proclaimed goal. If you want to know what's morally correct, you have to ask yourself what you want and what actions you take to attain your goals. And I think you can separate into what is morally right on an individual level, and a social level, and they aren't always moving in the same direction.

I think at the end of the day though, working one on one with a real person for a real relationship, at best, helps two people grow and learn and gain. It's a risk like anything is, but the best outcome for a relationship does trump the best outcome for hook up culture.

>>33352987
>>33353104
extremely based opinion and the absolute truth. here’s your answer OP