Anonymous
7/12/2025, 5:44:46 PM No.33352752
I realized that I'm the same age as my mother was when she had my youngest sibling (I passed the age she had me at more than 8 years ago). The same age, almost to the day. I remember that day itself vividly, even though it's been 27 years. Since that's the case, it means that I'm now older than my mother was when her own mother died. By that time, my mom had had a short career, passed the bar exam, moved a half dozen times with my father, and was dealing with two sons, an infant, and a dog in a house rental in 1998 Charlottesville... I'd already had years of memories with them.
I'm still living with her (parents divorced my senior year of high school). I have a degree, but just a bachelor's; currently unemployed (laid off a month ago), not sure what to do next. Most of my friends (the ones who still talk to me), even if they're in relationships, are childless; some have very successful careers, some are doing okay, a handful are like me. A few have already lost parents. There have been a handful of deaths/suicides. No one in my generation is "a kid" anymore.
30 seems like yesterday (hell, 25 seems like yesterday). So what about 40? 45? How many familiar people and things will be gone then? For a while, I've gotten used to, being content with things coming in a year or two; now, it's like the teenage urgency is back, but because I have too much of life behind me, instead of not enough. Only, I'm certain that 35-39 will seem to pass quicker than 14-18. I'd give almost anything for it to be 2008 again, or 2002, or 1995; Eternal Sunshine'd a bit to get rid of the psychological cruft I've picked up.
I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for exactly. I suppose I might be hitting my mid-life crisis. I wish I could rekindle the hope I had for the future, build a slower and more present-appreciative awareness, while also moving towards getting the things I thought I'd have done by now, done.
I'm still living with her (parents divorced my senior year of high school). I have a degree, but just a bachelor's; currently unemployed (laid off a month ago), not sure what to do next. Most of my friends (the ones who still talk to me), even if they're in relationships, are childless; some have very successful careers, some are doing okay, a handful are like me. A few have already lost parents. There have been a handful of deaths/suicides. No one in my generation is "a kid" anymore.
30 seems like yesterday (hell, 25 seems like yesterday). So what about 40? 45? How many familiar people and things will be gone then? For a while, I've gotten used to, being content with things coming in a year or two; now, it's like the teenage urgency is back, but because I have too much of life behind me, instead of not enough. Only, I'm certain that 35-39 will seem to pass quicker than 14-18. I'd give almost anything for it to be 2008 again, or 2002, or 1995; Eternal Sunshine'd a bit to get rid of the psychological cruft I've picked up.
I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for exactly. I suppose I might be hitting my mid-life crisis. I wish I could rekindle the hope I had for the future, build a slower and more present-appreciative awareness, while also moving towards getting the things I thought I'd have done by now, done.
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