I think there is something critically wrong with me. I have dated maybe 3 women in my life and I never made it far enough for any of them to become my girlfriend. However, I got very similar answers from all of them when they wanted to break things off which is fine. "I just don't feel a connection" was basically a common theme. This makes me think something is fundamentally wrong with my character or personality and I am not sure how I can fix it without labotomizing myself to remove whatever part of myself they don't like. I feel really resentful of myself because to me, something is fundamentally wrong with me if I as a male can't keep a woman attracted to me. I look at the relationships my friends are in and they just seem to have fallen into those relationships. They like the woman and the woman likes them. Sounds straightforward. Somehow I get a woman to agree to go on a date or 2 with me and then usually end up getting the "I don't feel a connection." Not sure what can even be done. Am I fundamentally missing something or is my personality just garbage in someway? My friends describe me as a good guy but I definitely need to work on being more in the moment. Which to me basically means I am boring. At least thats how I took it. What do you guys think? Is there anything I can do to help myself? Would I truly have to really reform or butcher a part of my own personality just to have a chance at even trying to have a relationship? I basically don't even feel human because of this. I feel like I am missing whatever spark or energy that might keep a woman attracted to a guy.

Ugly

>>33355599 (OP)
>What am I missing?
Judging for that pic, at least one finger

They must've not been really attracted to you physically or you're not that fun to be around with. The first one is just bad luck, women that find you attractive will do A LOT just to get your attention. Just focus on losing weight until you're 8-12% bodyfat.

The second one is hard to pinpoint. Do you feel comfortable being yourself around people? Are you putting on a mask in any way? Cracking jokes makes women feel comfortable around you. Flirting reassures them that you want them. Don't be afraid to say stuff like "Those earrings look great on you." "You have a great smile" etc. And make sure to ask questions about her AS A PERSON, try not to ask job interview-type questions.

>>33356626
I think I do put on somewhat of my mask because I have autism. So dating for me is already hard. I try very hard to be what I perceive to be normal even though it causes me a lot of stress. Like I know women probably prefer men to make all the decisions. I actually kind of hate making all the decisions because I know I am not of normal mind so my decisions might be weird to some. Like the things people DON'T tolerate commonly are things that I tolerate commonly and vice versa. So basically I don't trust my decisions because I am a neuro divergent person having to interact and guess what normal people might prefer.

>>33355599 (OP)
phermones are the main driver of liking someone irl
looks and social skills are important but not as important

>>33355599 (OP)
You don't love yourself, women notice that and don't want that kind of burden.

Get in shape, make some money, pick up some hobbies and learn some self esteem.

/thread

>>33356977
>learn some self esteem.
What does that mean?

>>33356995
Self-esteem is your overall opinion and feelings about yourself, including your beliefs about your abilities, worth, and limitations

You've gotta develop some positive feelings about yourself, what you believe, what you do and what you CAN do. Confidence.

>>33356626
>A voice from mom's basement writes:
>They must've not been really attracted to you physically or you're not that fun to be around with.
What a retarded take! They would not have gone out with him if that were the case.

>>33355599 (OP)
Read books on the subject of establishing rapport.

>>33356626
>"You have a great smile"
As an aside, this is also a practically guaranteed way to get a woman to smile (as long as you're not autistic about it).

>>33357015
They would have gone out with him if he was attractive, but that doesn't negate the 'not being fun to be around' part. They wouldn't really know that until going out with him and finding out he wasn't fun.

>>33356995
How do you feel when you think about yourself objectively? Try to get to the point where you feel warm and fuzzy when you think about yourself. I'm not kidding.

>>33357087
I don't think I can ever get to that point. There is too much I think is wrong with me. In fact, I don't understand how anyone could have that feeling about themselves. Its such a strange thing to me. The only people who I think could feel that way are people who may be self absorbed. I basically think my combo of strengths and weaknesses are basically dog shit and not useful. Or, they don't really serve a purpose in this day and age. Like I find myself to be a very loyal and honest person. But all Loyalty and Honesty will get you in this day and age is someone taking advantage of you most likely.

You are boring and there's no connection because you're closed off. Are you afraid of saying the wrong thing? Do you steer conversations towards the other person's thoughts and interests rather than your own? People will want to know you deeply, intimately, before they're willing to become your life partner. If you focus on being "nice" = inoffensive you'll be a NPC to everyone.

>>33356789
Im going through that with my gf right now. she is a normie, or least appears to be, and hates that my suspected autism (not officially tested yet) gets in the way of the relationship. She wants me to make plans and make decisions but I hesitate because I like very different things than she does and think uncommonly.
For example if I were to travel solo, I'd love to walk up the streets of an old city and study the architecture and how the city came to be formed via museums, photographs or sketches.
I would skip common stuff like checking out stores, local shops, and expensive tourist trap activies. However if I go somewhere with my gf now I am worried that the stuff I want to do will make her bored

>>33357584
I think this is where I have a problem also and where women sort of get off easy. They don't have to really worry about entertaining the guy. As a man, I have to worry about picking something entertaining for me and her. She doesn't have to worry about entertaining me per se. Its very stressful. Especially for people like us who may like really uncommon things. Like I love to have a conversations but I usually hate having conversations with some other activity involved. It butchers my focus. So if we are in a restaurant with live music and eating and having a conversation, that is troublesome to me. If we are just sitting outside and talking, thats fine and would perfect to me. However, I learned recently that a lot of "normal" women think when men take them on cheap activities, its because the man is being cheap. So even suggesting something like a walk in the park seems insane to some women.