I love fire so much. I love seeing things burn, the sound it makes and the heat that radiates off the flames. I love how hot things feel on my skin. I stole one of my dads lighters and when I feel like it i‘ll just light it up and put it up to my skin. I love burning myself, it feels so weirdly arousing. For some reason seeing anything burn arouses me just as much. I thought I was gay but now I think i‘m genuinely just attracted to fire more than humans at this point. What the fuck am I?

I read a story once where a boy put coffee creamer on his hands and lit his hands on fire to impress this girl he liked. She was much older than him and she was a cheerleader. He tried to do more things with fire to impress her, so he decided to spell her name out with fire on her front lawn. But he ended up burning her hair off so she had to go to hospital.

Anyways this post kinda reminded me of that, fire is a beautiful thing. There's probably a name for your fetish, go search it up. It would have been better if you were a pyromaniac and your obsession with fire was not of a sexual nature.

Welding is a well pay trade, go for it to escape mom basement, good luck

>>33355807 (OP)
Maybe you should become a fire fighter?

>>33355807 (OP)
Maybe you were a star in a past life?

Fire be hotter than humans fo sho

>>33355807 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8vK1BgjwrQ

From what i‘ve researched I am apparently a pyrophile. To explain a pyrophile is a person who is sexually attracted to fire, setting fires, and other fire-related activities. Definitely not healthy but luckily I care not for my safety

>>33355807 (OP)
The fire isn't where you get the kick. The fire is just a medium to access the kick. You just happened to discover fire as a pathway to that kick.

That kick is control. That's what you really enjoy. Think about it, think of the lighter you stole from dad. You get a device where you get to decide when it sparks. You get to decide whether heat is produced or not. You get to snuff it out at any time, just as you get to produce a fiery spectacle at any time.

You get to decide how long it burns something, and you get to decide if it can burn pain into something or not.

You are deeply infatuated with control. And the probable reason for this is because you sorely lacked control in a moment in life where you needed it the most. Maybe a moment that fucked you up. Or a series of small moments in sequence that slowly killed pieces of you inside. And you could not control it. And this lack of control punched a void in you.

Then you found fire. And it seemed 'Control-shaped'. And here you are today, hypnotized by the flame.

>What the fuck am I?
A human, brother. Just a human who is looking for control.

>>33357216
>Cont

Only questions I got for you OP, and you are at liberty not to answer if you don't want to:

Was there a fire in your home somewhere some time ago? Did you witness a devastating fire that destroyed people or places you cherished? Did you confront a fire somewhere where you had to decide in an instant to freeze on the spot or run away or take action? Was there someone you knew in life who was taken away by fire? Someone you miss a lot?

I ask because I had a similar discussion with a necrophile. I won't go into it. But at the bottom of it all, his fascination with death and decayed bodies and his desire to sleep with the dead, it was his mom. Watched her OD and die, he was stuck in home watching the body rot. He was only a kid. He wanted her back but couldn't do anything.

So as an adult, without intending or knowing, he unconsciously develops a desire to emotionally and sexually interact with the dead. The deep drive was maybe, if he could revisit that nightmare, he could find his mom again, somehow.

>>33357260
No. I never have had any bad things happen with me around fire. Yet I have always seen fire and been around bonfires since I was a kid so could that possibly be the reason?

>>33357277
>Yet I have always seen fire and been around bonfires since I was a kid so could that possibly be the reason?

Possibly. I was around them a lot too and yet I did not develop the same fascination as you. Because nothing bad happened to or around me while in the presence of those bonfires.

Only way the bonfires may be connected is perhaps indirectly. That the fire didn't harm you or others, but was present during a moment were you either experienced or witnessed something messed up?

Phobias and fetishes operate in a lateral/diagonal pathway this way after all. Two sides of the same coin, phobias and fetishes.

Example for phobia, there was a man who was afraid of horses, terrified of horses. No idea why. He never rode a horse or saw anything bad happen with horses. Never got hurt by one. He feared them immensely anyway.

He later had the 'aha!' moment. His dad just so happened to recite a memory of him as a boy, laughing about it, saying "you were so scared and cried all day during the ride home after you got that big shock from the electric fence."

It clicked. He remembered, he was a boy. He tried to reach through and electric fence to pet a horse, he got a shock that scared the shit out of him. His young developing brain associated horses with pain, and the pain with fear. So, that translated as fear of horses.

Does this example help? If you think laterally, was there moments where you received shock, immense stress, terror or fear from something unrelated to fire, yet fire was present nearby?